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Britain to be assigned AA rating

I know we drink a lot in this country, but to assign us an AA rating is a bit harsh.

written by IainB, 25 February 2013
Rating:

Horse in Ikea meatballs

Ikea have withdrawn their meatballs after horse DNA was found in a batch. Food watchdogs said that this was like bolting the stable door, after building it from flat-pack, obviously.

written by IainB, 25 February 2013
Rating:

Cardinal O'Brien resigns

Cardinal O'Brien resigns as Scottish Bishop when it transpires that he once kicked Bishop Brennan up the arse.

written by IainB, 25 February 2013
Rating:

Because Birds Are Stupid

A new game has emerged in the wake of Penguins: Spy in the Huddle. "What you do," said TV Watcher, Ben Stiler, "is say 'because penguins are stupid' after everything the present says. It's hilarious."

written by IainB, 25 February 2013
Rating:

Swedish giant forced to eat humble "horse pie!"

Swedish furniture giant, Ikea, not only drives their customers horse-mad whilst building their furniture; they also leave them "chomping at the bit" after eating their meatballs!

written by Jaggedone, 25 February 2013
Rating:

It's impolite to ask a lady

New politeness rules governing online forms mean that if the Gender Field is filled in with 'Female' then the Date of Birth or Age fields must be removed from the form.

written by IainB, 25 February 2013
Rating:

Against All Odds

An IKEA meatball won the third race at Belmont Park yesterday.

written by Michael Balton, 25 February 2013
Rating:

You want spare screws with that sir?

IKEA flat packed meatballs withdrawn over Norsemeat fears!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 25 February 2013
Rating:

Contaminated Meat Scandal Continues

Traces of cabinet drawers found in IKEA meatballs

written by Talking Tic-Tacs, 25 February 2013
Rating:

Further Pistorious Details Emerge

According to reports Oscar Pistorious wanted a hook on the bathroom door, but his girlfriend was dead against it

written by Talking Tic-Tacs, 25 February 2013
Rating:

Britain's Highest serving Catholic stands down

Keith O'Brien has committed a Cardinal sin.

Catholics to take out middle pages of tabloid newspaper advertising vacancies.

written by Talking Tic-Tacs, 25 February 2013
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