Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 12 February 2013
Coca Cola deadly or not?
A woman has died after drinking 10 buckets of Coca Cola daily; maybe she should have tried Cocaine; don't need so much, much healthier, not lethal and doesn't rot your teeth!
Ted Neugent to attend 'State of the Union' Address
The veteran NRA member and Klansman will be strip searched before being allowed into the same room as President Obama wearing just a robe.
'The Sun' to drop Page 3
To stop readers missing the feature the last Page Three will feature former Tory MP Ann Widiscum. "Ann topless will turn even the most randy man off topless pics" Rupert Murdoch commented.
Government launch new charter for teaching cookery at schools.
There will be an enfaces of cooking cheep meats like Horse, Dog, Cat and Rat as part of coalition plans to further lower the health and standard of living for the majority.
Aldi regret new advert soundtrack
The German budget supermarket seem to have scored an own goal as its new adverts feature the song 'My Lovely Horse' from an old 'Father Ted' episode.
No More Steps
In line with the disability discrimination, BBC Radio have decided to remove all Steps from their play list. H is said to be livid.
Pope Resigns due to Lost Voice
It's been revealed that the Pope has stood down because he has lost his voice. The head of the Catholic Church has been living on a diet solely made up of Findus Lasagnes. This has left him hoarse.
Richard Dawkins Surprised At Resignations Of Church Leaders
'First it was the Archbishop of Canterbury, now it's the Pope,' said Professor Dawkins. 'I never expected my books to convince such senior Christians that there is no God.'