Order by:
Rating:

Miley Cyrus Commercials

Miley Cyrus will follow the steps of Suzanne Somers' and her Thighmaster with her new ads about the Assmaster!

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

NSA Tracks 5 Billion Cellphone Location A Day!!

"We just listen for key words like car bomb, terrorist, Pressure cooker. Bzzzzzzzzzzz!! See. I caught myself!

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Preview of incomplete List of The Ones We Lost in 2013

It was updated twice recently, including Lindsey Lohan's career! Miley Cyrus's mind.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
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Is 'knockout game' real or a myth?

"Oooh! What happened? Must have passed out. My head has a goose egg on it. What was I...what, three hours ago?" You too?"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Celeb chef admits using cocaine

"Why do you think everybody is crazy over my food?"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

New home sales surge 25%

"Of course we can't pay for them", say couple. "We'll just hold on till the next Obama bailout."

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

30 whales, Rush Limbaugh trapped off Florida

Where's the Hulk when you need him? If anyone sees Dr Banner, moon him then run like crazy toward the whales and Rush.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Exclusive: Inside ailing nuke plant

U.S. Reporter at large got a chance to go inside Japanese nuclear plant & he reported it as 'strange'. "I was only in there for a biscuit, but I could smell the flags. I might go back inside 80."

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Bear Spotted in Central Park

"Sounded like a crank call to me", stated city officer Roy Ashton. "The lady sounded a little 'off'. But as I got there I caught a glimpse of the animal, I'd say it was a Bigfoot. No one was hurt."

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Bear mauls woman walking dogs

"I was just walking across the woods to my house and this bear came out of the woods, walking two dogs. You just never know."

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Change your password: 2M stolen already

"You need to make up a new password for your accounts", consumer advocate tells the press. Over two million dollars stolen already. Make it difficult like my 4$3$2h66709."

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Cops:Woman injured when glass drug pipe shatters in vagina.

Sounds like she was pretty messed up already.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Teachers In Wales Hit Back At Report Complaining That Pupils Have No Idea How To Take A Maths Test

'Eighty percent of our students know very well how to take a maths test,' responded a spokesperson for teachers in Wales, 'and we will urgently be teaching those skills to the other thirty percent.'

written by Swan Morrison, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Truck with dangerous radioactive material 'stolen in Mexico'

"One thing about it, they won't be able to cross the border at night all lit up like that", says border guard.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Obama: I Want to Host 'SPORTS CENTER' When I Retire.

Biggest response thus far: Why wait?

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Home Secretary, Theresa May, Promises To "Address The Gaps" In The Government's Response To Extremism

When asked to define "Extremism" she explained that it was any view she didn't like. 'That certainly encompasses the promotion of hatred,' she added, 'but may also include deviation from Tory policy.'

written by Swan Morrison, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Awwww! Poor Thing!

Several witnesses say that Adolf Hitler actually died in Argentina in 1948, from a broken heart.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Al Gore Says Goodbye to Hawaii

Al Gore predicts that the United States will only have 49 states by 2100, with ocean rise!

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #790

According to Snoops: Bullied at school, Lard Ass changed his name officially to Meat Loaf!

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #423

According to Snoops: Although it only lasted for a few weeks, Jeopardy once tried "Giving the answer with a limerick or pun!"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

It's That Thanksgiving Glow!

Several doctors around the country say lots of people are coming into their offices with face burns because of standing in front of their refrigerators the past few days.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

...............Holy Popes Batman!

Pope Francis reveals he once worked as a nightclub bouncer in his native Argentina....."nobody messes wid big Frankie!"

written by Herrdoktorfox, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Group seeks "personhood status" for chimpanzees #2

"Personhood"? In some countries that means your private parts. We'll just settle for "Chimps", thank you", signs a second chimp!

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Group seeks "personhood status" for chimpanzees

However, chimps object. "We don't threaten to blow everyone on earth away", one signs.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Statue of Liberty postage stamp portrays Las Vegas replica

Also, recent picture on stamp of "Rosa Parks" that of photo shopped Whoopi Goldberg.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

'Dangerous' radioactive material stolen in Mexico truck: IAEA

Hope the border guard at least checks this one.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Afghanistan won't sign U.S. pact unless Karzai's demands met - spokesman

Hey President Obama, are you going to let this guy push us around also? Let him handle his own people. Bring all our people home. Enough already!

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Man survives 3 days at bottom of Atlantic.

Finally frees himself fom cement shoes. Wants to see the FBI.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Texas oil production hits record.

I don't remember "The Texas Oil" group. How many hit records did they record? Doesn't give title of the hits LP. Bet Willie is on it."

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

UN deploys surveillance drones.#2

One hits old guy up 200 feet in a helium balloon lawn chair.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
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UN deploys surveillance drones.

Air Force wants to know how many drone collisions would take down a plane.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

REPORT: TSA Expands Searches of Parked Cars at Airports.

Arrest over 40 couple who were "just saying goodbye".

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

UPDATE: Traveler pulled from plane with suspected TB cleared in tests.

"Only turned out to be Typhoid fever", say doctors.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

TOLL: Trucks must pay $102 to cross bridge into NYC.

More and more citizens are crossing bridge by foot to buy at discount.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

City Shuts Down 11-Year-Old Selling Mistletoe to Fund Braces.

"The people will be kissing all over town and you know how one thing leads to another", says mayor.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Obama leads cheers for himself.

"For I'm a jolly good felon! For I'm a good felon! Which nobody cans deny!"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

STUDY: Regular exercise boosts creativity.

How to treat blisters on feet. How to come up with plan for pulled groin muscle. Exactly which shoe to place up instructor's butt! Home treatments for hernias.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Man Criminally Charged -- for Pruning Plants!

"Those hedges look like genitalia. Not a good thing for people passing by, especially this time of the year."

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Return treasures Britain looted, Chinese tell Cameron.2

"Why don't we just pay you for anything you think we have, with all the counterfeit money you have printed over the years?"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Return treasures Britain looted, Chinese tell Cameron.

"We have nuclear weapons also. We didn't steal those. Want to see a few?"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Rand Paul Has Another Solution

"By wiping out China, our debts would be cut in half, our sales to other countries would go up and we'd get some respect."

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

China warns Japan before Biden Visit

It's not World War II anymore. This time we hold all the marbles.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Chief Counsel Says 'I Don't Recall' Over 80 Times.

Judge: Sir. Will you please wait until you are asked a question?"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

NEW RECORD: 10,982,920 on Disability; Exceeds Greece's Total Population.#2

Thus far, over 50,000 citizens have accidentally shot themselves in the foot!

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

NEW RECORD: 10,982,920 on Disability; Exceeds Greece's Total Population...

"Hello Doc? Another hang nail! Worst one yet. And now it's the skin tags."

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Dowd: Mommy, the Drone's Here!

"Well, what's he got? Isn't it always the way. You get right to the ending of a good mystery or TV show or talking with your friends on the cellphone and that stupid drone arrives?"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

GOOGLE Bets on Robots.

But thus far, no casino will let one in the door.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Harry Reid Exempts staff from Obamacare

"Just because I wanted everyone else to have it doesn't mean that I want it for myself. It's a mess!"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Acrtic Blast-40┬░Hits Midwest!

Al Gore: You just wait till next summer! I was right! I was right! I was right! Nyaa Nyaa!!"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Harry Reid Once Again

"Yello! I don't think there is a congress woman. Oh, you're her husband? OK! "Attention! Is there any Tess Tickles here? That's Tess Tickles! Is there any Tess Tickles on the Senate floor?"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

FDA finally gets off its ass long enough to ban twelve-inch penis pills from Nigeria,

"These pills will only help you to eleven inches!", says FDA. So the U.S. has banned these from entering the country.

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Free Condoms For Everyone

Latest from Vatican: Everyone can use condoms to prevent HIV, even monks, priests, nuns!

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Kanye West: I Want To Be The 'Obama Of Clothing'.

And go busted, with 16 trillion dollars in debt!

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
Rating:

Admin Refuses to Brief Congress on Obamacare Security Risks.

"You rolls the dice and you takes your chances!"

written by Bureau, 04 December 2013
« Nov 2013 December 2013 Jan 2014 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
68
2nd
48
3rd
54
4th
54
5th
42
6th
79
7th
38
8th
41
9th
54
10th
50
11th
81
12th
56
13th
50
14th
55
15th
62
16th
65
17th
9
18th
21
19th
75
20th
58
21st
41
22nd
51
23rd
58
24th
52
25th
87
26th
60
27th
49
28th
71
29th
53
30th
44
31st
53
 

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