Order by:
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Nazi-looted art found in German parliament.

Members of Parliament say they had no idea that all those paintings were there.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
Rating:

POLICE: Man Ran Through Bingo Hall with Pants Down Yelling 'Bingo!'

Ladies say he can have the prize if he'll come back and run through again!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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U.S. population growth slows.

GOP blames all the same-sex marriages!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
Rating:

TIME: Ghosts of Munich Haunt Olympics

Russia hit with second bomb in two days, leaving 30 people dead and jitters about the coming Winter Olympics!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
Rating:

ESPN Hires Tebow

Throws switch the wrong way putting everyone in the dark!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
Rating:

Wild Amish Weekend!

In today's news: Following Fall Break, it took over twenty cops to break up a 300 Amish Teen corncob fight over the weekend.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #722

According to Snoops: Ulysses S. Grant's middle name was Stevereno!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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True Facts From Snoops #207

According to Snoops: Bubble gum was invented when a scientist accidentally dropped and broke a jar of honey on an inner tube.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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True Facts From Snoops #074

According to Snoops: Clara Peller, the old lady demanding "Where's the beef?" on the Wendy's commercials once stated the same thing on her wedding night 51 years before.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
Rating:

...carry on rogering!

Prince Wills orf to Cambridge University in the New Year for 10 weeks course, Kate said to be deliriously happy at the thought of being 'comforted' by Prince Haribo during the long cold nights ahead!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 30 December 2013
Rating:

Duck Show Alternative?

New show, "Better Duck" about how to survive Obamacare!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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A&E: 'Duck Dynasty' resuming 'with the entire Robertson family,' including Phil

A&E now getting calls from gays...but not as much as Duck supporters.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Minimum wage to rise in 13 states

Well, they always said they were "gonna rise again"!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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You know that ship stuck in ice that has 2 trying to free it?

'Global warming' scientists trapped in expanding Antarctic ice.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #082

According to Snoops: It was proven beyond doubt earlier this month by an American scientist that you can, indeed, "Say shit with a mouthful!".

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Facebook bans anybody over 17!

Teenagers are leaving Facebook in droves because they are determined not to enjoy anything their parents enjoy and who blames them?

written by Jaggedone, 30 December 2013
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History Channel Admissions #4

Fatty Arbunkle was not killed by a harpoon while swimming in the Pacific Ocean near Los Angeles.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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History Channel Admissions #3

The Japanese never took over Treasure Island in Florida during WWII.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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History Channel Admissions #2

We have stretched the truth a bit. For instance, Lee Harvey Oswald's middle name didn't come from old movies about an invisible rabbit.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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History Channel Admissions

We have been guilty of showing same WWII Hitler films that we have spliced and re-spliced to make ten films look like 50.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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REPORT: State Department whistleblower's email hacked, messages deleted.

"Good thing I sent a double copy by Pony Express", he tells reporters.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Saudi royal faces death penalty for murder.

Judge: He will be hanged by a golden chain!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Kathy Griffin Asks CNN Host 'Have You Ever Spooned With Candy Crowley?'

"No, but we've came close to forking a few times!"

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Gay couple to marry on Rose Parade float.

Plan to hover in the air just over the top of float right after ceremony completed. "Look Mommy, two Tinkerbells."

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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GMA's Robin Roberts Acknowledges Same-Sex Relationship.

Sam Champion has had a same sex marriage. Dianne Sawyer admits to cannibalism.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Bombings Jolt Russia.

Two Suicide Bombings in Russia have them concerned about safety there during the Olympics. "I may have to send a few million to Siberia", says Putin.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Study Provides Clues to Inconsistency in Toxoplasmosis Symptoms

"Also, Toxofibertonsolitus. Agreed? Well there is no such thing."

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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First Lady Wants Name Changes

"Let's do away with 'white elephant', 'black Friday', etc."

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Chinese PM Li Keqiang pledges 'appropriate liquidity' in 2014

Also, pledges to tell everyone how to pronounce his name. "I hate nickname Leeki."

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Seahawks clinch top seed with 27-9 win over Rams

"Just as long as it's not a hybrid", says Seahawks coach!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Netflix: Watch TV Shows and Movies On Your Favorite Device

"We watch our favorites on an old ironing board with a white towel hanging from it", says local Man.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Family of American Kidnapped in Pakistan Say He Has Not Been Forgotten

"No, we haven't given up on uh....Owen...Josh..anyway, our family member", says father. "Junior, that's it!"

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Afghanistan rejects grim U.S. intelligence forecast as baseless

"You keep building those bases and we'll be alright. Just leave us a few good nukes."

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Sen. Ted Cruz Blames Obama, Reid for Government Shutdown; Talks Coloring Book

"They kept adding on items as we went through process. It's all in my new coloring book, you can read it for yourself."

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Manning, Broncos set records in win at Oakland

Manning and wife celebrate by joining 'The mile High Club' last night!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Pot, guns and paparazzi: New laws run gamut in US

I wonder if running the gamut includes the guns? I don't think that would be sporting.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Father Arrested in Christmas Day Beating of Teen Daughter #2

"The next time you give me a tie like that, I'm going to hang one of with it!"

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
Rating:

Father Arrested in Christmas Day Beating of Teen Daughter

Sheriff says that it was all about regifting again. "Yhis happens every year."

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Unemployment stress may cause men to age faster, study finds

That's why Presidents hair turns gray their first term, white the second term!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Afghanistan could risk falling into chaos

For the 100th time in the past 101 years!

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
Rating:

El Salvador Volcano Erupts

Causes mass evacuation, in all directions, defecation peril in many a one's apparel.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Mexico highway collapses after rain, small quakes

Obese locals walking by, drunks with the shakes and whizzing in the potholes.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
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Auto workers given cash instead of health insurance

Farmers and workers given an extra cow and pig. (Will you take my appendix out for a cow and a pig, Dr. Ping?)

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
Rating:

World in turmoil

Seven countries we'll be watching closely in 2014. 50 others we'll be peeping at.

written by Bureau, 30 December 2013
« Nov 2013 December 2013 Jan 2014 »
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4th
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5th
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6th
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7th
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10th
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11th
81
12th
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13th
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14th
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62
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65
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20th
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