Order by:
Rating:

Cardinal Baloney Attacks Onanism

The NY Prelate said that masturbation is the gravest sin of all. "Sperm is Holy Seed. It is infused with soul as it forms God says. Spilling seed is worse than spilling Jesus' blood at Mass" he said.

written by Keith Shirey, 27 December 2013
Rating:

"Privacy," What's That?

Teens are texting, sexting, selfing, posting intimate details, give out e-mails & don't care if corporations, advertisers, the NSA has access to personal info. Now, only 5% can define "privacy."

written by Keith Shirey, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Don't Eat Falafels At Airports

A man who was studying Arabic was arrested by TSA-FBI for flash cards w/ words like "house" and "tree." The agents said that if people have falafels or hummis on them they too would be detained

written by Keith Shirey, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Let Them All Eat Cake

When told that non-violent low level drug offenders can't get jobs, contrary to law, which leads to hungry & homelessness, Sen. Ted Cruz R-TX said, "Don't bother me none. No one else can find work."

written by Keith Shirey, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Woman Stabs Fiance Over Wedding Colors

A woman stabbed her fiance over the color of wedding napkins. The injury was slight, the charges dropped, and the 2 are reconciled. However they now face choosing the color of the wedding gown.

written by Keith Shirey, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Hound wins Strictly Come Dancing Christmas show

This adds to Pudsey's 'Britons got Talent' victory and is the perfect publicity for his upcoming film.

written by John_L, 27 December 2013
Rating:

China rejects shipments from USA of genetically modified corn.

Nobody wants it so we may as well use it for whiskey. That will kill anything it might cause.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

U.S. judge says NSA phone data program is lawful

Then retires from the bench and gets ready to move to an island in the Pacific.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Take the Kids to the Zoo Again

There they had some hot dogs with mustard and looked at the animals. More Top Stories as We Get Them!

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

New Record on Cyber Shopping This Year!

"Most of the orders came from people who apparently also shopped a lot at Target", says one Company.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Python Kills Security Guard Near Luxury Hotel#2

Python claims that he thought it was a Bed and Breakfast!

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Python Kills Security Guard Near Luxury Hotel

Wonder what they have hanging around the Hampton Inns in that area?

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Man Fistfights Crocodile to Save Child

PETA objects that crocodiles were never taught how to use their fists.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #861

According to Snoops: If you were born in 1943 you might as well have been born in 1944 as the country was in a major war, used ration stamps wore the same shoes and went on paper drives.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #296

According to Snoops: The voice that was speeded up to sing Alvin's part in The Chipmunks Christmas Song, was none other than Tennessee Ernie Ford.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #093

According to Snoops: There are only two different ingredients from plastic and cool whip. In fact, your insides hardly know the difference.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

New Book Published

'Soil Aeration and Composting' by co-authors Anna Lidd and Eartha Wurme

written by The Ruling Authority, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Scientology declared a religion by the UK Supreme Court.

Yodeling declared a religion in Switzerland. Consumerism declared a religion in U.S.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Judge: NC possum drop allowed to go on

"This is a win for George Jones fans! "Remember George, Drop A Possum!"

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

The 'Prancing Elites,' an all-male dance team, 'appalls' parade goers

Team of five men in short shorts say they were inspired by Richard Simmons.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Disease suspected in Utah die-off of bald eagles

Disease being called "Windmill Energy Blades" Disease by locals who continue to see blades exploding birds.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Lights out! Your 60-watt incandescent bulb is going away

Being replaced by bulbs that say 7-years on package and you might get too. Also, filled with mercury!

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Sick of Obamacare drama? Health-care politics are just getting started, experts say

As more and more doctors considering dropping insurance acceptance, cut prices in half for cash and save money on paperwork.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Poll: Americans hopeful for a better year in 2014

But not expecting much after the past two administrations!

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Thank you Castro Brothers!

Lack of customers dooms many Cuban businesses! This is how great socialism is doing, Mr. Obama.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Obama reversal on health plan gets mixed reviews

But then, so does every thing else he does!

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Is Andrew Johnson the worst president in American history?

Not according to poll: The past four we've had push Jackson to #5 at least.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

China must retaliate for Japan PM shrine visit: media

Boy, the season of peace sure went by fast this year!

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Man arrested after filming himself installing bathroom camera.

Friends became suspicious after he kept inviting all families with good-looking daughters, wives.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Greenwald to MSNBC: I Defend Snowden Like You Defend Obama.

Many Americans already calling MSNBC the "Obama Network". "It's like Tass in the old Soviet Union!", says Conservative,

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Hospital Bans Carolers From Singing Religious Songs On Christmas.

Patience promise to sing their lungs out! Some doctors, nurses aids doing the same. "Gonna fire all of us?", asks doctor.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Chicago Considers Bike Tax

New York considering pedestrian tax. California considering a skate board tax, Mississippi: A coon hound tax!

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Kermit the slob

Celebrity muppet, Kermit the Frog, has been arrested in Las Vegas,charged with possession of illicit drug substances (believed to be crystal meth) and sexual harassment. Oh, come on! A frog? Really?

written by whatinthe world, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Raving nutters threatened with extinction

A record low number of City centre yelling lunatics is thought to be due to an increase in abductions by "Close Encounters" type spacecraft.

written by Auntie Jean, 27 December 2013
Rating:

The Little Fellas Are In Darn Good Shape

Some bullfrogs have been known to jump over a Cadillac Escalade SUV.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Hold The Mustard?

Due to the Mustard Seed Scandal, the USDA is considering putting a warning label on all Mustard bottles.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Michelle Obama Is One Tough Cookie

Before going to Princeton and Harvard to study law, Michelle wanted to become a professional wrestler.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Taylor Swift Started Real Early

Taylor wrote her very first song at the young age of two. It was called "Mommy, Have You Seen My Tickle Me Elmo Doll?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Olé David

David Letterman owns 90 percent of a piñata factory in Tijuana, Mexico.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Woman stabs sister in fight over apple fritters.

Well I can certainly understand that. I mean, it's her apple fritters. You let one get by with it and you'll never get another one.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

President Obama signs budget agreement, defense bill

Also signs golf scorecard. Turns himself down for Obamacare!

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Exploded ship stuck in Antarctic ass buttered by buzzards

I'm sorry. That should read: Explorer ship stuck in Antarctic ice battered by blizzards.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Mariah Carey dons little red bikini to walk dog

Dog dies from embarrassment as she had one on her too.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Workers fire back over delivery delays

"Take all your late sending packages and cram them up where the sun don't shine!"

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

NBC: Recession hangover: The economy's improving, so why doesn't it feel like it?

Because we're in debt over our heads, the docs are moving out of some states and so are insurance companies.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #077

According to Snoops: Tom Dooley's own mother told friends that she had warned her son not to be hanging around that old white oak tree.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Back Breaking Work In Hard Times

Workaholic dad complains that he not only lays on the sidewalk wearing dark glasses and selling pencils all day, early mornings he slips into casinos & gathers credit left in slots to feed his family.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Winter Is Officially Here

During freezing ice in northeast, firemen once again freeing dogs pissing on fire hydrants.

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Americans Totally Fed Up With Congress

Not very happy with President's Obamacare. Nobody may vote in 2014!

written by Bureau, 27 December 2013
« Nov 2013 December 2013 Jan 2014 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
68
2nd
48
3rd
54
4th
54
5th
42
6th
79
7th
38
8th
41
9th
54
10th
50
11th
81
12th
56
13th
50
14th
55
15th
62
16th
65
17th
9
18th
21
19th
75
20th
58
21st
41
22nd
51
23rd
58
24th
52
25th
87
26th
60
27th
49
28th
71
29th
53
30th
44
31st
53
 

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