Order by:
Rating:

Indian Consolate Humiliated

The NY consolate was repeatedly cuffed, stripped & cavity searched, swabbed & put in holdup with drunks. The officer in charge explained, "I had a flashback and thought I was at Abu Ghraib again."

written by Keith Shirey, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Obama Sets Modest Goals for 2014

After the disaster that was 2013 the President said he'd just be glad to "come out of this with just strand of black hair left."

written by Keith Shirey, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Santa Claus Almost Shot Down

While Santa was making a trial run over the North Pole today NORAD, which tracks him each year mistook his sleigh for a missile. The F-35 fighter with its fatal design flaws fired but missed Santa.

written by Keith Shirey, 20 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #711

According to Snoops: Camel cigarettes were not named after the camel on the front of the cigarette package because his name was Fred.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #787

According to Snoops: George Washington preferred not to shake hands with visitors. He either nodded or if it was a Head of State, get down on the floor and go around in circles like Curly.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Obamacare Site Down Again Today

People have to call in to get insurance or cancel what they got earlier by end of the year. It's back on? Finally. You can call now to....OK, it's down again!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Katie Couric to end daytime TV show

Katie Couric had a daytime TV show? I guess I missed it. Maybe that's why she's leaving. I'm sorry, Katie!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Nigella's Topical Christmas Pudding

Theatrical Roof Crumble in a shower of White Dust.

written by j.w., 20 December 2013
Rating:

Remember the fake sign language guy who worked the Nelson Mandela funeral?

He's been booked to sign at President Obama's next news conference. "You reporters can then figure it out", says President.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

NSA caught spying on EU official investigating GOOGLE.

"Google says EU spies had NSA keeping tabs on us", says Spokesman.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

US deploys troops to South Sudan to protect embassy, personnel

Sounds familiar. Why have we waited this long to get them out?

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Hickory Farms Sues Government

How are we to sell our cheese and meat Holiday gift products with the price of meat doubling and you giving free cheese to all those people?

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Obama orders military to review sexual assault

Victims object to having to reenact the whole event.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Obama hits at all-time polling low

Congress ratings won't appear as no one will respond to them. "We're no longer talking to any of them!"

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #857

According to Snoops: There has never been a Pope named "Juggalo".

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #099

According to Snoops: Although often called "Big Dick Donovan" on the radio, when the White Sox pitcher appeared on the Saturday Game of the Week on TV, he was only called Dick Donovan!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #335

According to Snoops: Julia Child, cook and Secret Agent during WWII, once took out a German Machine Gun Nest with a fruitcake!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Target to Give Free $5 Gift Cards to Everyone Who Had Their Credit Card Information Stolen

In breaking news, Target announced today that if you can prove that your information was stolen in the recent online theft of Target credit card numbers, you could be eligible to win a $5 gift card.

written by Al N., 20 December 2013
Rating:

Babies Abound at Penguin Colony Found & Counted by Poop

United States Census Bureau: "Hey! There's a fantastic possibility!"

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Patriarch off 'Duck Dynasty' after gay comments

Yahoo News says he's getting "some support". At last count there were over a million supporters headed for two million. Is there any place you can get neutral news these days?

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

China was 'irresponsible' in stand-off at sea: US

China says U.S. was to blame. Just two kids arguing over who can take the other out. However, these can take us all out.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

SUIT: Married, heterosexual gym teacher fired by lesbian boss for 'traditional family status'.

Quick! Get the Dynasty Ducks guy back on! This should be good.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

REPORT: No evidence of widespread sexual misconduct in Secret Service.

After extensive study by their own people. "No evidence we have done anything" note sent to President.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Home sales tumble, jobless claims at near nine-month high.

And I have this stubborn rash that no one seems to be able to help me get rid of.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Scientists Turn Algae into Crude Oil in Minutes.

So what's holding this up, Big Oil?

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Kids as young as 10 arrested for 'knockout' attacks.

Number one sales item this year for teens, pre-teens: The Punching Bag!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Kate Middleton, Prince Harry's Phones Hacked, Court Hears.

Someone or other has hacked everything on here. (Not True!) (You Blew It!) (I told you they would.) (Will you guys get off so we can read this?)

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

North Korea Threatens To Strike South Korea 'Without Notice'

"But that would not be politically correct!, says Nancy Pelosi!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

UH OH: Iraq war vote haunts Hillary -- again

"I wish she wouldn't start that Bosnian shootout again, also", states Bill Clinton.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Doctors Perform Emergency C-Section, Discover No Baby.

Then discover they have operated on a male. "With the long hair, belly pouch and piercings, sometimes it's hard to tell", says surgeon.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Putin: I Envy Obama In Light of NSA Revelations 'Because He Can Get Away With It'.

"The people of Russia would have my head on a platter because we believe in democracy."

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

JUDGE: Border Patrol helps illegal aliens smuggle kids into US.

Former employee: "Why do you think a lot of us lost our jobs and others hired? The more alien voters, the more Dems stay in power."

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

'Superbug' bacteria widespread in U.S. chicken.

Consumers warned that you should not stop to count the chickens but wash them immediately and cook right away!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

POLL: Just 23% Confident in Federal Government to Handle Healthcare.

Or anything else for that matter!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

AFLAC Duck Comes Out For Duck Dynasty Support

The whole 2014 election may depend upon the Ducks. This sums up today's America!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Obama to hold press conference

MERRY CHRISTMAS: WH lifts mandate for people whose insurance was canceled by Obamacare. "Everybody screws up every once in awhile. Ask any male!"

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Duck Dynasty Shows Changing America?

'If you believe in free speech or religious liberty, you should be deeply dismayed'.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

A&E Will Air Marathon Despite Suspension.

Most fans say they will not watch Duck Dynasty Marathon in protest!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Number One Show, Duck Dynasty Going to FOX?

'We Cannot Imagine Going Forward Without Our Patriarch At The Helm'.

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Winner of huge lottery still in shock!

Relatives and friends say they are very concerned. Asking "Does this mean we might get to split it up if she croaks?"

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Wales has a dry day as it stops raining

Yesterday, for the first time in a really long time it didn't rain in Wales. The phenomenon was due to a unique clash of pressure systems above the English county, said Michel Fish.

written by Auntie Jean, 20 December 2013
Rating:

The Far, Far Reaching Drone

The U.S. government has confirmed that the drone that crashed just outside of Dover, Delaware did in fact originate in Scotland.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

These Cold Cows Give Milk Shakes

Iceland considers dairy cows to be sacred.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Andy Dick By Any Other Name?

Andy Dick says he is tired of all the Dick jokes and plans to change his name to Andy Penis.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Ed Sullivan - The Man With The Really Big Show

The king of American variety shows, Ed Sullivan once wrestled professionally under the name The Stoic Destroyer.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Kirstie Alley and Her Big, Big Mama Undies

Kathy Griffin said that Kirstie Alley's landing strip is so big it could easily accommodate two 747's.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

The Indy 500 Almost Wasn't

The Indianapolis 500 was almost changed to the Indianapolis 475 in 1975.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Indian Scientists Make An Astounding Discovery

A group of scientists from India have just announced that they have disproved the scientific method.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

McDonald's - The New Age

McDonald's has announced that they will no longer hire any employees under the age of 12.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

The Convicts Really Didn't Have A Whole Lot To Do

Elvis Presley had over 7,000 concert scarves. He once said that 500 of those were made by Sing Sing Prison inmates.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

The Material "Granny" Has Something Extra

Madonna actually has two fully-functioning belly buttons.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Sarah Palin Defends The Ducks Dynasty Star

Wow! That's kinda like the damn devil defending Hitler.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

The Former Celebrity Known As Geraldo Rivera

Geraldo Rivera says it feels horrible to simply have become a question on Jeopardy.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 December 2013
Rating:

This Whole Thing Is Outragous!

Those who aren't outraged by Phil Robertson's recent anti-gay remarks, are outraged at those who are outraged. Then there is the original outraged group who are outraged at those defending them!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Due To Obamacare We're In Nazi Germany

James Dobson, one of the most famous right-wing Christian TV personalities, said that today: "The 20,000 newly insured under Obamacare would be better off in Buchenwald."

written by Keith Shirey, 20 December 2013
Rating:

IN POLL 71% IN US Say Washington Broken

The other 29% were not available to participate in the NBC poll due to prison incarceration, permanent brain damage, or attending religious services involving rattlesnakes.

written by Keith Shirey, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Walmart Asks Workers Help

In the past the company has requested that its workers provide food for other employees who are hungry. Today's request is that Walmart low-wage homeless workers be taken in by fellow employees.

written by Keith Shirey, 20 December 2013
Rating:

Cuba eases 50-year-old restrictions on car imports

Just in time for a 1965 Ford Mustang Classic with pony interior!

written by Bureau, 20 December 2013
« Nov 2013 December 2013 Jan 2014 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
68
2nd
48
3rd
54
4th
54
5th
42
6th
79
7th
38
8th
41
9th
54
10th
50
11th
81
12th
56
13th
50
14th
55
15th
62
16th
65
17th
9
18th
21
19th
75
20th
58
21st
41
22nd
51
23rd
58
24th
52
25th
87
26th
60
27th
49
28th
71
29th
53
30th
44
31st
53
 

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