Order by:
Rating:

Japan Signs trilateral agreement

Mothra and Godzilla agree to only fight each other in the future. Mothra singers close ceremony.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

The Sixties Are Over

The last of the old hippy communes has moved out of California. Hope to get started elsewhere. Will check with The Farm in Tennessee for best place to go.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

President Obama and First Lady Address Criticism

"None of the many mistakes have been our fault. It's the fault of those who voted for us."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Betty White Shakes Her Thing in Thanksgiving Music Video

Left the hospital this morning with her thing in a swing.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Homeless Man's Music Moves Listeners to Tears

"My goodness, what kind of music is that? Sounds like a my stomach after a two-week binge!"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

In Some States, Gays Fight for Right to Divorce

Gay Divorces may outnumber marriages within five years some predict.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Before Death, Paul Walker Had Passion for Marine Biology, Charity

"Now he's lost all interests", says his best friend. "I always did play Paul McCartney to his John Lennon. He would have loved that one."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Detroit Is A Mess

"I hate to say it", says old timer, "but several of us here in the old hotel can't go to sleep at night unless we hear a gang fight."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #509

According to Snoops: During the sugar and other rationing during World War Two, many housewives used Sugar Ants to make their cakes and pastries.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #191

According to Snoops: Wink Martindale holds the world recorded for being slapped by females!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #141

According to Snoops: A 14-foot alligator was killed recently in Africa. There were three pygmies inside but only one survived.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #335

According to Snoops: Ghandi was once caught with a bag of Snickers hidden in his diaper!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

President doesn't know which emergency to screw up next!

"Tonight I have decided to send my economic team to North Korea and Syria. That should give us a leg up."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Pelosi Answers The Call

"Hello! Is this important because I'm an important person you know? "Attention, Is there a John Ahrea on the House Floor? John Ahrea? Guess he went to the restroom!"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Democrats brace for more bad Obamacare news

We apologize but it's up and running so I guess you're stuck with it. Sorry.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

72-Year-Old Man Terrorizes Punks

Apparently three would-be knock-out artists got a kick in the groin and face full of mace in Cleveland, Tennessee. "I knew what they were up to so I let them have it with the mace then with the boot!"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Officials: Worst tech bugs over for Healthcare.gov

"Now if we only had a decent health care plan to go with it.."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

China launches its first moon rover.

And no moon-face jokes, please. Penalty: Write fortune cookies fortunes till you die.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Equity card needed to appear in screener

People standing up and going to the loo or letting people get past them in a Cinema when someone is filming a "Screener" behind them must from tomorrow hold Equity cards Dick Attleborough said.

written by Auntie Jean, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Mitch McConnell Takes A Call #3

"Hello?" "I'll see. "Is There A Brook N. Roober on the Senate Floor? That's A Brook N. Roober on the Senate Floor?"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Mitch McConnell Takes A Call #2

"Hello! Who? Anita Dump? OK, Try to hang on. "Is There An Anita Dump on the Floor of the Senate?" "Anita Dump on the Senate Floor Please!"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Obamacare Call-Ins Better

The President says he finally realized what was happening. "I was trying to help. Once I got out of the way...." GOP: "From your mouth to our ears!"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Mitch McConnell Takes A Call

"Who do you want? Teresa Green or Ivan Tinkle? Either one? Attention on the senate Floor! Is there an Ivana Tinkle or Teresa Green on the floor at the present?"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Reid Gets The Call #3

"Yello! Who? I'll check. "Drew Peacock! You have a call from your Pharmacy! That's Drew Peacock!"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Reid Takes Another Call

"Hello! Who? Pat McGroin? Attention! Is there a Pat McGroin on the Senate floor?"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Harry Reid Takes The Call

"I'll get it. OK I'll see. Jacques E. Strap! Is there a Jacques E. Strap, you have a phone call!"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Cleveland Browns Owner Say's They Are Bound for the Super Bowl

"I already have all our tickets right here in my coat pocket."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Wild Walmart fight breaks out

Finally stopped by police, it flares up again at Target!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Doting Granddad Overspends With His Time And Money

Buys his six-month-old grandson a castle in Ireland. "He'll grow into it."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Officials say health care website is improved

"Of course, there was no other place for it to go. It had already hit bottom."

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Pepsi has introduced a new snack food called Pepsi-flavored Cheetos.

Many say they really taste great and so easy to use after smoking a joint!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

NFL Warns Teams Against Over-Celebration After Touchdowns

Players say that they're so doped up not to feel pain, they cannot help themselves. "I felt better over my broken leg so I danced!"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Radioactive Japanese wave nears USA.

Elderly Japanese: It's taken us 70 years but we are finally retaliating for Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Deep Freeze: Nearly 1,000 Record Low Temperatures Set.

Several suffering frostbite while attending Global Warming Conference.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Company unveils robot security guards.

"Go...ahead...Punk...meet..my...Death..Ray!"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Digital era confounds the courts.

Actually, everything does. Plus, Ruth Bader Ginsburg sleeping around the clock doesn't help.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

CBSNEWS: President lame duck already?

Most say he's more like a crippled turkey!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Incoming mayor faces immediate fiscal crisis.

No one special. They all do this in every city across America!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

'KNOCKOUT' #10 IN NYC.

Drunk finally shaken awake in an alley and then knocked out.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

POLL: Majority of Americans Distrust One Another.

I sure hope Mark puts this on here. You just never know.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

HUNGER GAMES: Woman pulls stun gun in argument over WALMART shopping cart.

She was immediately surrounded by kids with light sabers!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

00000000 for Armageddon: USA's top secret launch nuke launch code was frighteningly simple.

Even though outdated, Americans told to forget the number as a hacker may have inadvertically reconnected it.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #138

According to Snoops: After the fifth apple had hit Sir Isaac Newton on the head, he moved his chair over under a maple tree.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #790

According to Snoops: According to a Wall Street rumor, Old Navy has recently signed Popeye to represent them in all their commercials!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #884

According to Snoops: In the last census of 2010, for the first time people who were mentally ill weren't referred to as "One Idiot".

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Something Very Special

A waitress in Paducah, Kentucky says she will always remember the day that Elvis Presley stopped at her restaurant. "I asked him if he wanted a refill for his coffee and he said, "No, I'm OK!" WOW!!!"

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #618

According to Snoops: The Native American who cried during those old ecology commercials actual name was, "Blubber Butt".

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #433

According to Snoops: A turkey will actually laugh out loud at a 'You Know You're A Red Neck Turkey Joke' about his mate's mother.

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #764

According to Snoops: The frozen head of Walt Disney at the Cryonics Center wears Mickey Mouse ears!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Holiday Memories Help People Get Into the Spirit

In the meantime Holiday Spirits are causing some people to lose their memory.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Poll Reveals Americans Don't Trust Each Other Anymore

What an astonishing finding! How long has this been going on?

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 01 December 2013
Rating:

STUDY: Web Surfing Detracts from Other Activities

For example, I'm at work right now . . . . . . ohhh, shit! Gotta Go!

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Sharon Osbourne's Plastic Surgery Confession: I Had My Vagina Tightened

Rumor has it that Ozzy performed "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" during the procedure.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Go on a Black Friday Shopping Spree

The couple now being referred to by pop culture as Kimye were spotted shoving other customers out of the way in several stores, attempting to score hot deals. For the first time ever, West had no comment.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Cannibal Cop Arrested In Germany

Apparently when he was interviewed by detectives, he slipped up and put his "foot in his mouth" . . . . . .
correction, he had someone's foot in his mouth.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Women Get Into Black Friday Stun Gun Fight Inside the Mall

Several shoppers witnessed this shocking event.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Advent calendar tip

Buy two Advent Calendars and hide one so you can immediately eat all the chocolates.

written by Auntie Jean, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Some Black Friday Shoppers Don't Pussy Foot Around

A security guard at a New York City Walmart caught a Black Friday shopper carrying a concealed mini-grenade launcher in his boxer shorts.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Naked Breakfast?

A woman in Baltimore claims she found an image of Miley Cyrus in her breakfast muffin.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Well, The Newness Did Wear Off A Long Time Ago

New Mexico in a move to differentiate itself from New York, New Jersey, and New Hampshire is considering changing its name to Great Mexico.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Walmart - Always On The Cusp of Technology

Reports are that due to the big number of fights, brawls, and beatings Walmart is considering doing away with the name Black Friday and calling it Free-For-All Friday.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Saying 'Cheese' Was A Darn Waste of Time

Kirstie Alley tried to take a selfie, but all that came out was her left ear lobe.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Sarah Palin Gets Knocked Back Down To Earth

Sarah Palin reportedly went into a Hollywood beauty salon to get a makeover and the receptionist asked, "What's the point?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Rear-View Mirror Dice Are Included

Haiti has built a Mars type land rover that it wants to sell to the United States.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 December 2013
Rating:

55-Year-Old German Police Officer Arrested For Cannabalism

German authorities are planning on sending the white cannibal cop into the cannabilistic jungles of Lower Zamgola, Africa.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 December 2013
Rating:

That's One Thief That Will Learn 'His' Lesson

Denver Airport officials have stated that the recent baggage thief will be sent down to Juarez, Mexico where he will be incarcerated and most probably become the prison bitch.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Rush Limbaugh Says His Weight Gain Is Not Due To An Addiction

GOP radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is denying the rumors that he has gained so much weight because of his alleged addiction to pickles.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 December 2013
Rating:

Exploding Cigars Are Nothing

If you think an exploding cigar is funny, you should see an exploding e-cigar. The smokers face goes black, his nose glows as he does a little dance and falls on the floor. If he's not dead. Fun-nee!

written by Bureau, 01 December 2013
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