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Rating:

Pope Francis is Serious

To show that he will not put up with child molestation, Pope Francis has already placed 3 bishops on the rack, placed 2 priests in the Iron Maiden & had one drawn & quartered. No kids molested lately!

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Dead Cat Seen Once Again

Cat Medium: Ragamuffin cannot rest until he finds out where his balls were buried.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Motivational Speaker, Half of Crowd Blown Up!

"Whose idea was it to bring in a speaker for our suicide bombers? You should have known that Muhammed Abdul would get too agitated!"

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Twentysomethings Think We're Kidding

It's the truth, there were a group of people called The Zombies back in the 1960's. They did exist, I kid you not!

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Vice President Joe Biden Finds Bug

After he and wife begin hearing maniacal laughter coming from under their bed! "I'll have it investigated if I can find which of our groups is doing it."

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Come On! You Can Do It!

Motivational Speaker argues traffic cop out of giving her a ticket in a positive reaffirming manner.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Religious family survives being lost at sea

"We became more and more religious as the days went by", says daughter.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

PLO Leader Says Rock-Throwing Very Important In Wars

Once World War Three is over, there will only be rocks and clubs and we'll be sitting pretty.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

They Are Polling Again As Many Getting Away From Land Phones

Family get telephone poll call at dinner time asking: "Are you for or against being polled at dinner time?"

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Ghost of Bin Laden Being Reported

He was last seen near Frozen Niagra inside of Mammoth Cave!

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

New Laws For Cruise Lines

As of January 1, 2014, all cruise line disease outbreaks or ship breaking down will result in the Captain being keel-hauled!

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Restaurant Bugged By Ex-Employee

Steak restaurant embarrassed as fired employee hid bug with loud Horse Noises in the kitchen.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Ads Now Appearing Recommend Twinkies

What if there's a war, a failed economy, an electric outage for months? Jut include Twinkies in your disaster shelf. Guaranteed for the first 50 years.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Heat Wave In Alaska #3

After day at the seashore, locals return to whole village melted down.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Heat Wave In Alaska #2

"Warmest I can remember", says old timer who is wearing his cut-off long-handled underwear.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Heat Wave In Alaska

Fat Eskimo Gal has to have bikini operation to get it removed! Starts to blubbering.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Paula Deen Hired as Spokesperson for Jack-In-The-Box

"I have to lie like a dog but it's good money. Maybe I can improve their menu."

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

First Head Transplant Completed #6

Apparently head transplant successful, but overseas doctors looking for men who wish to sell other big body parts for lots of cash.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

First Double-Head Transplant Completed #5

Couple to get married, exchange vows, rings, heads.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Warning: NSA is now on watching you and computer

Laugh like you are really interested in seeing these spoofs and stay on here until clearance given.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Details

CONWAY, NH--Sam Hedgewick explained to emergency room attendants that if he had specified which arm should have been tied behind his back, he totally would have won that fight.

written by rvler9201, 11 August 2013
Rating:

First Head Transplant Completed #4

Slight hitch as 55-year-old gets used to his 10-year old body. "My word, with this big head, I look like John Kerry as a kid."

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

First Head Transplant Completed #3

One small hitch, lady with male body says she don't see how she can walk with all that hanging out.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

First Head Transplant Completed #2

One little hitch, anesthesiologist slips up and surgeons so drowsy, head placed on backwards.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

First Head Transplant Completed

One hitch so far, former male so fascinated with new female body he's not cooperating with surgeons on information.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Washington Farmers Feeding Pigs Pot

"Make really good pigs in a blanket and smoked cocktails as snack food!"

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Russia Detains Opposition Mayor, a Putin Rival, in Bribery Scandal

In an amazing coincidence, six different politicians, others who oppose Putin have committed cries in the past six months.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Clean-Up in Aisle 4, Call 911!

Ten cart pile-up at WalMart leaves 5 injured, one sent to jail. A sudden stop by a fat lady filling most of the aisle caused the pile-up. Male whom the fat lady fell on arrested after throwing cans.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

NSA Admits to Listening to You!

"But we didn't laugh at you and your wife actually falling out of bed and continuing of the floor."

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

5 scary new hacks

One can send fake photos of you naked to everyone on Facebook friends.

"Say what?", ask Anthony Weiner.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Burglars return stolen computers to nonprofit, leave apology note

"Sorry. We didn't know non-profit. You might want to have the photographs we put on them wiped out.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Skinny dippers warned of biting fish

"Not our fault that they're now eunuchs", says Florida Game Warden.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

ASIANA Offers $10,000 to Crash Survivors.

"This should really help against those $100,000 hospital bills!", says CEO.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Weiner: If I Lose nYC I have Other Plans

Word is out that he will run for high office in Missouri, the "Show Me" state!

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Report From Missouri!

Independence, Missouri say they will nor recommend any candidates this year. Same as before.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

IRS Targeting Small Businesses.

Ran by no-good Republicans, Independents!

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Billionaire prepares to unveil mysterious project, revolutionary 'fifth mode' of transportation

Jet pacts on the back? Lawn chairs with tougher balloons? We'll find out soon!

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Justin Bieber Has New Tattoo

It's on his privates and is a very small tattoo picture of an ant carrying a grain of sugar.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Thou was not looking!

Heated words exchanged as two Amish buggies collide in Pennsylvania!

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Woman Struck Ten Times With Switches In Afghanistan

Islamic Fundamentalists say she was wearing one of those new see-through veils by Abercrombie & Fitch!

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Major Split Between Amish Groups

Of all things, who would have thought that a skateboard would split a major Amish group. One side says "It's from the devil" while the other group points out that there are no mechanics to it.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

Someone Somehow Leaves Burning Dogshit Outside Obama's Suite

From the balcony, Michelle Obama yells to reporters, "We are not amused." Police believe it was an inside job. "Lot of wealthy people here who don't want taxes raised."

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Rating:

McDonald's Going Green

McDonald's announced today that they are going green. "We're dropping the pink slime and adding the organic New Soylent Green", says spokesman.

written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
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