Spoof news snippets from Saturday 27 April 2013
The Gynecologist and The Sounds of Money
A Milwaukee gynecologist has stated that ever since he installed a slot machine in his waiting room, his patients have tripled in number.
The Unbelievable Mississippi Catfish
A game warden in Mississippi has found a catfish that can swim at speeds of up to 92 miles per hour, walk on land, fly, and count from 1 to 3.
The Alaskan Weatherman Was Kicked Out Into The Cold
A weatherman in Juneau, Alaska, has been fired for referring to snow during a live weathercast as that gosh darn, friggin, damn white stuff.
Cleveland Scientists Make An Amazing Prehistoric Discovery
A group of Cleveland scientists excavating in Laos claim to have discovered what they believe to be two prehistoric basketballs.
The Well Hidden, Hidden Camera
Brooklyn Police break up a surveillance camera stealing ring operation with the help of a surveillance camera.
Apple's New Name Change
Apple has just announced that in an effort to have a more modern sounding name, effective August 1, 2013, they will be changing their corporate name from Apple to Avocado.
The FBI Pays A Pocatello Man A Visit
A man in Pocatello, Idaho, received a visit from FBI agents after they were tipped off that he had placed three drones on eBay.
Sarah Palin Is One Desperate GOPette
Sarah "Snowflake" Palin is so desperate for attention that she has stated that she would be willing to get tattoos, body piercings, and even a girlfriend to get herself back in the spotlight.
Rush Limbaugh Denies A Romantic Rumor
GOP mouthpiece Rush Limbaugh has adamantly stated that the rumors romantically linking him and Omarosa are positively false.
The Marital Trade-Off
A Chicago woman tells her husband to either stop smoking or else she's leaving him. The husband replies "Bye, and don't forget to take your stash of heroin."
Duke of Edinburgh on three-day visit to Canada
More evidence that the Canadians have done enough to beat the Australians in the race to replace the pound when it collapses next year.
John Terry reaffirms retirement but would consider England SOS call
So if a petty racist is needed Terry's your man.
Selena Gomez delivered a rare fashion faux pas
In an attempt to win back Justin Beiber the 'Spring Breakers' star wore an outfit based on Anne Frank's concentration camp uniform.