Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 2 April 2013
Man loses head
Russian doctors have surgically removed the head of a patient and implanted a prosthetic head because the recipient's face was too ugly. "He looks much better" said Dr Yuri Dragonslayer.
Dolphins refuse too help humans again!
Dolphins are refusing to help humans again because the only thanks they get is being slaughtered by moronic butcherers in Japan. Great White sharks are relieved at the decision; yum, yum surfers bum!
Map guy changes his name
Top cartographer, Sir Rodlet Swenkleburquer, has officially changed his name to Rod Smith. "It saves time" said the virtually unknown celebrity. Well done Rod but the rest of us couldn't give a hoot.
DOJ charges X-soldier with using MWD's against Assad for using the same weapons the US military uses
DOJ to charge an ex-soldier who fought against Assad w/ using WMD's. He used a handheld rocket (RPG) against the Assad regime. Funny, the US still uses handheld rockets (AT4's) in Iraq and Afghanistan
Cook County Imposes a "Gun" tax and other"Rights Taxes"
Cook County's $25 gun tax, to curb taxpayer expenses, kicks in Monday, along with a $50 speech tax, $50 4th Amendment privacy tax, a $50 5th Amendment/Miranda rights tax also to curb taxpayer expenses
Elvis Presley's love child, Davis Beauregard II, has appeared in court charged with...impersonating Elvis. Beauregard pleaded not guilty on basis that he looks like his paternal father. Thank ya!!