There were 8,781 spoof news snippets published in 2013. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Student likes own status on Facebook

RUSH, NY--Sperry High School student Kathleen Conner brought out the rare self-like on a Facebook status she thought was especially witty.

written by rvler9201, 08 February 2013
Rating:

Prince Harry to be new face of TV Burp.

Producers loved his friendly style when in Africa for Comic Relief and are keen on the continuity of the name 'Harry'.

written by radiogagger, 10 March 2013
Rating:

Advice From Lindsay Lohan

"Never try to put up a painting in your house unless you have a hammer...and some more stuff like a hammer. Ask your dad."

written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Rating:

Earth's largest volcano found

"I don't see how we could have missed it for so long", says scientist.

written by Bureau, 06 September 2013
Rating:

Rooneys going nowhere says Ferguson

"He's locked in by basement" said the Scot

written by radiogagger, 10 March 2013
Rating:

Free World Tour

Old couples placed on floating iceberg getting a free tour of the world as huge chunk still floating. "No more hazardous than Cruise Line", one yells at reporter.

written by Bureau, 06 September 2013
Rating:

Justin Bieber to receive counselling

Following a traumatic week in London where he turned up 2 hours late for a gig, was rushed to hospital & threatened a paparazzi, management are to have JB counselled by Britney Spears & Lindsay Lohan

written by radiogagger, 09 March 2013
Rating:

First Amish Player Signs With Houston

Nearly 60% shooting average from the floor, 90% from foul line but refuses to use a backboard that is from the devil!

written by Bureau, 06 September 2013
Rating:

First day of Test match between New Zealand and England washout

Neer knew there were so many Man United fans in Dunedin.

written by radiogagger, 09 March 2013
Rating:

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Achieves Orgasm

Ultra-Conservative Arizona Governor Jan Brewer says she achieved an orgasm last night as she was listening to Rush Limbaugh. "I really enjoyed it", Brewer stated.

written by NickFun, 16 May 2013
Rating:

Charles Saatchi never laid a finger on me, says ex-wife

No statement yet from another ex, Rihanna.

written by radiogagger, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Threatening World Supply of Envelopes?

China says Manila stirring up trouble on disputed shoal.

written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Rating:

Congress Admits It Knows Nothing

In a rare admission, Congressional leaders held a special session to address their own incompetence on every subject and admitted they knew very little, if anything, about anything.

written by NickFun, 17 April 2013
Rating:

Iron Manifold

SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" wasn't written for the film series.

written by rvler9201, 22 May 2013
Rating:

Stock Market Crashes

The NASDAQ stock market dropped nearly 8000 points in heavy trading yesterday but the only ones affected were the very wealthy as no one else had any money to begin with, according to sources.

written by NickFun, 06 May 2013
Rating:

WWII Vets Cross Closed Line

Underground members of al-Qaeda seen scurrying from country like rats from a sinking boat

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
Rating:

Home Sweet Home

In a recent survey in Bradford, over 91% of illegal immigrants came over here so that they could continue seeing their own doctor.

written by IN SEINE, 03 April 2013
Rating:

The Spotless Thief

A student from Milton Keynes was spotted by CCTV stealing 4 bars of soap but security guards could not catch him and he made a clean getaway. A police spokesman said it "we expect it's white-collar crime!"

written by IN SEINE, 08 April 2013
Rating:

Facebook 'Like' Patent broken by Prior Art

Facebook's patented Like button has had the patent broken when Prior Art was found. "Apparently, Tommy Cooper did it first," said Stephen Hawkins. "He said he 'Like that' and 'Not like that'."

written by IainB, 12 April 2013
Rating:

Scientists urge people to drink

New research shows that if people don't get at least one drink every three days, they get 'dehydration'. "We're thinking people might need to eat too," said a scientist working on this.

written by IainB, 17 June 2013
Rating:

Lord Sugar wrote me off, claims Apprentice winner

I always thought Stella English was a beer label.

written by radiogagger, 07 March 2013
Rating:

Cardnial Baloney Rejects New Biblical Scripture

Roman Catholic scholars say that a Christian document found in Nazereth is authentic & was written by a woman, NY's Cardinal Baloney said, "Not possible! They tied His sandals and shine my shoes!"

written by Keith Shirey, 24 December 2013
Rating:

Carlos Tevez arrested!

Accused of impersonating a footballer. And a supermodel.

written by radiogagger, 08 March 2013
Rating:

Abbreviation Conference

Ths yrs conf on Abbrs & TxtSpk will B held at G-Mex M/c. Attnd's shd arv 30mins b4 drs open 2 Nsure a gd seat.

written by IainB, 21 May 2013
Rating:

Kim Jung Um Calls In Fukushima Dalichi Company

N. Korea has started producing fuel rods for its new nuclear reactor. Dear Leader Um said all would go well because Tepco of the Fukushima Dalichi nuclear power plant in Japan is giving advice.

written by Keith Shirey, 25 December 2013
Rating:

Boat Race takes a frozen turn

This year's boat race between Cambridge and Oxford will go down in history as the first to be done on ice skates.

written by IainB, 30 March 2013
Rating:

Cave Writings Interpreted In France

Best we can tell, it reads "I'd sure love to drag her into my cave by the hair of the head. Ah-Cha-Cha-Cha!"

written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Rating:

The Alaskan Weatherman Was Kicked Out Into The Cold

A weatherman in Juneau, Alaska, has been fired for referring to snow during a live weathercast as that gosh darn, friggin, damn white stuff.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2013
Rating:

SEC Confusion

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Mary Schapiro wasn't sure why reporters were calling the SEC "the undisputed best", but she'll take compliments wherever they come from.

written by rvler9201, 08 January 2013
Rating:

Samsung unveils new smartwatch that makes calls

By this Christmas you'll be able to change into Dick Tracy!!

written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Rating:

Illegal Immigrant Lawyer to Argue Obama's Case For Bombing?

Trump: I want to see his birth certificate before we hear him.

written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Rating:

Kentucky Kicked out of United States Electoral College

Several caught in sting for betting on horses! Making illegal moonshine. "Which one's legal?", asked one former rep.

written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Rating:

Mick Jagger Can Still Rock 'n Roll Like The Youngsters

Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger who is 68, proudly boasted that he has groupies between the ages of 21 and 71.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 June 2013
Rating:

"Privacy," What's That?

Teens are texting, sexting, selfing, posting intimate details, give out e-mails & don't care if corporations, advertisers, the NSA has access to personal info. Now, only 5% can define "privacy."

written by Keith Shirey, 27 December 2013
Rating:

Duckie Robertson To Be Back On A&E

"Ohhhhh goodie! Maybe now we'll get to hear the n-word hear all of the details about bestiality, and lice co-habitation in long beards,"said Sara Palin.

written by Keith Shirey, 28 December 2013
Rating:

The Times wins newspaper of the year

The actual newspaper of the year, not jut sub-category for phone or email hacking by a Murdoch newspaper.

written by radiogagger, 09 March 2013
Rating:

McDonalds Tells Employees To Avoid Fast Foods

Without irony, a bulletin to workers says that "fast foods are typically high in calories, fat, saturated fat, sugar, and salt and may put people at risk for becoming overweight,"

written by Keith Shirey, 25 December 2013
Rating:

The iTwins Are Cute As Can Be

A young married couple in Phoenix is being criticized for naming their twins iPad and iPod.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 May 2013
Rating:

Kid in High School Kicks 99-Yard field goal!

"It looked like a screwball", states delighted coach. "Never saw a football get caught up into a big dust devil before. It actually went through the uprights twice!"

written by Bureau, 04 September 2013
Rating:

The 124 MPH Dancing Mama - Shakira

Colombian singer-belly dancer Shakira has just given birth to a baby boy who was named Milan Piqué Mebarak. The proud mother says she will nickname him either "Shakey" or "Hippie."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 January 2013
Rating:

Matt Smith is to cease being the Doctor

When Matt Smith retires from the BBC's Doctor Who, his replacement will be Sanjeev Bhaskar, from the Kumars at 42. "Well," said Sanjeev, "It's to reflect proportion of Asian doctors."

written by IainB, 14 June 2013
Rating:

KIA's Rhythmic Recall

KIA is recalling 400,000 KIA Magna Carta's that were built in 2011. It seems that if the car should hit speeds of 50 miles per hour the windshield wipers could completely fly off the windshield.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2013
Rating:

Mexico Is Very Concerned About The Tijuana Bullfight Scandal

Mexico is trying to squash the Tijuana Bullfight Scandal which involves claims that some of the bullfights were fixed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 October 2013
Rating:

86 Year Old Patient Leaves Hospital Alive!

Explained the patient's doctor, palliative specialist Dr. De'Ath, 'Unfortunately Her Majesty began to show signs of improvement before my team had time to commence her to The Liverpool Care Pathway.'

written by Tommy Twinkle, 05 March 2013
Rating:

Apple's New Name Change

Apple has just announced that in an effort to have a more modern sounding name, effective August 1, 2013, they will be changing their corporate name from Apple to Avocado.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2013
Rating:

Fergie to discuss Rooney situation at press conference

"Wayne who?"

written by radiogagger, 07 March 2013
Rating:

The Silver Screen President

The details are still somewhat sketchy but it looks like President Obama could be appearing in George Clooney's next action-packed motion picture Strike Force Eagle Bravo 1.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 May 2013
Rating:

Monster tsunami could devastate California: study

Also, monster earthquake, monster wildfire, monster!

written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Rating:

Air Force Removes Drunken General

In Moscow, Maj. Gen Mchael Carey stumbled through Red Square slurring his speech, insulting everyone. He visited bars with "Cigar Lady" and picked fights. His job was to control US' nuclear arsenal.

written by Keith Shirey, 21 December 2013
Rating:

Now It's Firestorms

The Weather Channel has not only named Hurricanes and Winter Storms but are now naming Firestorms. Word is, if there's not a Hurricane soon, they're dead meat.

written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Rating:

What's Next, For Blackmailing Purposes Only?

WIRE: FACEBOOK expanding use of personal information only for advertising.

written by Bureau, 05 September 2013
Rating:

The Tallest Pelicans In America

The NBA New Orleans Hornets will change their name effective with the 2013-2014 basketball season. Their new team name will be the Pelicans. The name that came in second was The Blackened Fish.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 January 2013
Rating:

House GOP: Climate Change Not A Threat

A House GOP caucus determined yesterday that climate change is not a threat to the planet. They also voted that the risk of cigarets, trans-fats, asbestos, & radioactivity to health was overblown.

written by Keith Shirey, 22 December 2013
Rating:

"Michelle Hon, Can You Move A Little To The Left Please"

President Obama recently confessed that he enjoys his teleprompters so much that he has even had one installed in his bedroom.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2013
Rating:

Britain to be assigned AA rating

I know we drink a lot in this country, but to assign us an AA rating is a bit harsh.

written by IainB, 25 February 2013
Rating:

The Unbelievable Mississippi Catfish

A game warden in Mississippi has found a catfish that can swim at speeds of up to 92 miles per hour, walk on land, fly, and count from 1 to 3.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2013
Rating:

U.S. Softens Deadline For Afghan Deal

Sec. Kerry said he wanted to talk a security deal with the Afghan Pres., "when he came down a little." Since Karzi has held the office, opium production has increased 2,000 per cent.

written by Keith Shirey, 24 December 2013
Rating:

Sheik Shortens Long Name To "Chuck"

Dubai ruler Sheik Mohammed Bin Rashid al-Maktoumen said that during sex it is better for women to exclaim "Oh Chuck!" than to use his full name. "There are fewer interruptions," he said.

written by Keith Shirey, 06 December 2013
Rating:

Lib Dems confident of victory in Rome by-election

Hell, forget the groping claims and speeding points - their on a roll!

written by radiogagger, 10 March 2013
Rating:

Twinkies Price, Stocks Down

Panel accuse Twinkies makers of manipulating stock as Banana Flips may be dropped off market next.

written by Bureau, 04 September 2013
Rating:

Where's Protesters Against War, Like Cindy Sheehan?

"Cindy Sheehan is yesterdays news", says Sarah Palin

written by Bureau, 04 September 2013
Rating:

GOP Serves Cake At Marie Antoinette Mission

Thanks to the House GOP, no extension of jobless benefits for Christmas and increased homelessness, but Rep. Boehner served cake at the Marie Antoinette Mission in his Ohio home town of Scroogeburg.

written by Keith Shirey, 25 December 2013
Rating:

Gary Busey Knows His Solar System

Gary Busey says that the first time he met Joan Rivers he swears he thought she was a friggin space alien.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 November 2013
Rating:

Lindsay Lohan Is Very Happy With Herself

Lindsay Lohan has said that the rumor that she is going in to have a frecklectomy is totally baseless.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 November 2013
Rating:

Nazi Stuff Is A "No No"

The city of Miami Beach has just banned all Nazi memorabilia. One very unhappy Nazi memorabilia shop owner says he will be moving to Arizona.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 March 2013
Rating:

Shutdown stalemate continues; WH powwow unproductive

Black Smoke comes from the building means no agreement yet! Vatican objects.

written by Bureau, 03 October 2013
Rating:

Coverage gap leaves up to 7 million ineligible for Medicaid

"I'll medicate that young man's *** if I get a hold of him", says Atlanta widow, who is immediately arrested.

written by Bureau, 03 October 2013
Rating:

McDonalds Tells How To Tip Au Pairs

McDonald's today gave workers advice on tipping au pairs, personal fitness trainers, and pool cleaners. McDonald's employees live far below the poverty line and rely on subsidies like food stamps.

written by Keith Shirey, 12 December 2013
Rating:

Paris Hilton Cannot Stand Being On The Backburner

Paris Hilton confided to her hair stylist FuFi Fondue that once Lindsay Lohan goes to prison, she'll get herself back in the Hollywood spotlight.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 January 2013
Rating:

Voters heckle McCain over Syria war vote

Why not heckle the President who will make the final decision? You had no trouble protesting Bush! Your hypocrisy is obvious!

written by Bureau, 06 September 2013
Rating:

GA Rep Says 5-Year-Olds Must Work For Lunch

He says force poor kids to sweep floors for school-provided lunch starting at 5. Too, they must say, "Please sir, may I have some more," if they want more gruel.

written by Keith Shirey, 18 December 2013
Rating:

Kerry Deals With Crazy Karzai

Sec.Kerry wants Afghan Pres Karzai to sign a pact so US can stay there forever. But the nutty Karzi may or may not sign. I have to be his therapist the Sec. said, holding up a copy of a Freud book.

written by Keith Shirey, 22 December 2013
Rating:

China Lands On The Moon

The landing was successful but since the pod was on top of a rocket launched in a Chinese urban area, it caused considerable smog on the moon.

written by Keith Shirey, 18 December 2013
Rating:

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid!

Following Tuesday's announcement by the Queen of her wish to attend Lady Thatcher's funeral on 17 April it has been decided no mention will be made during the service of her death at the age of 87!

written by Tommy Twinkle, 13 April 2013
Rating:

Pope Francis Says Women Equal To Men

"It's just that they can't be priests, bishops, cardinals or popes. But they can get close to male clergy when they shine their shoes."

written by Keith Shirey, 19 December 2013
Rating:

Overturning theories

Physicists are hopeful the Standard Model will be overturned soon. "Don't get me wrong," said Professor Brian Cox, "we like the model. If it's wrong though, we can apply for more research grants."

written by IainB, 18 June 2013
Rating:

Toby Keith Sells Out To Terrorists

At right-winger Toby Keith's "I Love This Bar & Grill" in VA, is a big sign NO GUNS ALLOWED. In VA you can carry a gun into a bar, get drunk, keep it. Now we can't shoot the terrorists said a patron.

written by Keith Shirey, 28 December 2013
Rating:

From The Lips of Governor Jan "The Traditionalist" Brewer

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has said that if women want to marry other women then it is only right that one of them be required to wear the pants.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2013
Rating:

Mayor Bloomberg Strikes A Positive Blow For The Hookers

New York Mayor Bloomberg says that in order to avoid the obvious negative connotations he is issuing a directive prohibiting the use of the word street walker and replacing it with pavement princess.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 March 2013
Rating:

Same Sex Marriages: Six of One, Half Dozen of The Other

Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona says she is against same-sex marriages, especially if it is between two men or two women.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 March 2013
Rating:

Ryan Seacrest Has A Request

Ryan Seacrest recently told Larry King on The Viagra View that he wants everyone to stop calling him Peaches. King grinned, touched his glasses, and replied, "It ain't gonna happen Peaches. Trust me."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 October 2013
Rating:

Historic: NAACP-KKK Meeting

The Hoods Meet the Hoodies! Most hope they don't unite!

written by Bureau, 04 September 2013
Rating:

Fox News Covers The Birth Of Jesus

Fox News commentators confirmed that Jesus, who was born today, was definitely white.

written by Keith Shirey, 25 December 2013
Rating:

Santa Claus Almost Shot Down

While Santa was making a trial run over the North Pole today NORAD, which tracks him each year mistook his sleigh for a missile. The F-35 fighter with its fatal design flaws fired but missed Santa.

written by Keith Shirey, 20 December 2013
Rating:

NBC Announces New Series Based On Cannibalism

An NBC executive stated today that a new miniseries called "Donner Pass Delights" will be aired next January. "Cannibalism is the next step beyond zombie shows. Yummy, yummy says my tummy," he said.

written by Keith Shirey, 11 December 2013
Rating:

Kim Jong Un Is Mad At Le France

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is angry at France and vows to launch a missile towards the Eiffel Tower.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 March 2013
Rating:

Jessica Simpson Has Gotten Back Into Her Daisy Duke Short Shorts

Jessica Simpson says she has been approached about starring in a Dukes of Hazzard movie titled, The Dukes of Hazzard: Daisy Duke Gets Gang Tickled.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #201

Snoops: The Lone Ranger was alone because of bad body odor. Tonto had bad adenoids.

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
Rating:

The Other Side of Adam Lambert

Adam Lambert has just expressed a desire to appear in the play Romeo and Juliet and he said he wants to play the part of Juliet.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 October 2013
Rating:

The Reason Illegal Aliens Are Staying Away

The U.S. Border Patrol stated the influx of illegal aliens is down by 17 percent. They say it's because illegal aliens do not want to come to a country that listens in on your phone conversations.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 June 2013
Rating:

Where Is Little Bunny Foo Foo?

Former GOP Vice-Presidential candidate Paul Ryan says that contrary to popular belief he has not gone into The Witness Protection Program. He stated that he is just tired of having to keep his facts straight.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 January 2013
Rating:

Anticapitalist protesters cause trouble

An anticapitalist group are protesting in Belfast today, saying that the time for capitalising words is over.

"i think we should just rite in small letters," said one participant.

written by CaptainSausage, 15 June 2013
Rating:

Plastic princess designed by the Tories?

Come off your high horse Dave, everybody knows you've shagged her.

written by queen mudder, 19 February 2013
Rating:

Minnesota Teacher Fired For Drawing Pornographic Stick People

Lola Belle Prinski, a St. Paul, Minnesota teacher stated she was just trying to visually demonstrate to her second graders the art of safe sex.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2013
Rating:

Obama Says Pope Is His Friend & Ally, No Says Pope

The Pres quotes and praises Francis, says he's friend and ally. The Pope who focuses on peace and non-violence said that "Obama's drones are death machines. With friends like him who needs enemies?"

written by Keith Shirey, 26 December 2013
Rating:

Shrink Wants Obama & Bush Committed

Shrink Bill Bain of Brooke Med. Center wants the Pres committed. "He says that Iraq is on track, when it's falling apart! It's like W's 'Mission Accomplished.' statement. They both should be here."

written by Keith Shirey, 26 December 2013
Rating:

Another Big Foot Sighting?

Wyoming officials say the giant size 18 footprints campers came across a few days ago were not made by Big Foot but by Happy, the Shrine Circus fat lady who recently picnicked in the Wyoming woods.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2013
Rating:

Earthquakes Have Now Joined Hurricane Status

The U.S. Meteorological Society has announced that effective immediately earthquakes like hurricanes will now have names. The first six names are Alonso, Betty, Cordelia, DeKeysha, Elmer, and Fifi.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 April 2013
Rating:

News Regarding The War Between The States

President Obama proudly announced today that the United States has made the final payment on the loan it took out in 1861 to help pay for the American Civil War.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 March 2013
Rating:

Kendra Wilkinson Quits "Splash"

The reality TV show star said that the reason why she refused to dive was because of the "Don't Go Swimming, If You've Eaten Within The Hour" rule.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 April 2013
« 2012 2013 2014 »
January
239
snippets
February
261
snippets
March
140
snippets
April
133
snippets
May
85
snippets
June
631
snippets
July
1,444
snippets
August
1,737
snippets
September
492
snippets
October
574
snippets
November
1,366
snippets
December
1,679
snippets

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 4?

3 25 8 14


62 readers are online right now!

Go to top