Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 18 September 2012
Champions League: Real Madrid 3 Man City 2
Madrid cap an incredible finish with goals in the 85th and 87th minute to beat Man City.
Ronaldo grabs the winner and doesn't look sad anymore.
Romney favors a one-state solution: The United World of America
After saying a two-state solution between Israel and the Palestinians is impossible, Romney said the whole world should be America. "Everyone knows we're the best. They love us. They want to be us."
NOW who wants to die for his country?
Pentagon officials, weary of competing with Al Qaeda's promise of 72 virgins for its "martyrs," is offering 75 experienced, high-class hookers (who died tragically young) to its new recruits.
Black + White = Gray. Romney Is Not Amused
When Romney was asked about "Fifty Shades of Grey," he retorted, "I knew a black presidency would lead to massive race mixing. Not that there's anything wrong with that -- it's just not natural."
Scientist Confirms Theory:
Ancient man with bad breath spoke Aromatic.
Romney's backer vows a $100.000000,00 to get rid of Obama!
The US presidential race is rotten to the core especially now Mitt the Git has openly said he don't like Palestinians and his billionaire backer confirmed that to the tune of a $100.000000,00 bucks!
Call me Snoop Lion says Snoop Dogg
Snoop Dogg now wants to be known as 'Snoop Lion' after being reborn during a trip to Jamaica.
Sounds like a social security scam to me.
Amish Forced To Take Cuts
The economy is getting that bad in America that even the Amish are having to make extreme cutbacks… On their beards!
8 Billion Year Old Starlight Captured on Film
A photograph believed to be Starlight from 8 billion years ago is now 8 billion years + one day. Spoof writer Inseine has challenged these claims by asking them to prove it!
Poll: Cameron cares less for UK people than last 8 PM's
Cameron was deemed to care less about the UK and its people than eight former leaders.
"And we needed a poll to prove this?"
Voters want a cut in migrants
The British Social Attitudes report also found that 75 per cent want to see immigration levels reduced, compared to 63 per cent in 1995.
"It's too late to bother now mate!"
Man tweets #Occupy for old time's sake
NEW YORK, NY--Paul Easthouse tweeted #Occupy today to mark the movement's one-year anniversary, then after looking at the tweet and sighing heavily, returned to his life of corporate enslavement.