Spoof news snippets from Thursday 13 September 2012
Actress duped into making anti-Islam porno
Cynthia Garcia said she had no idea that she'd been cast in an anti-Islamic porn film when she signed on to appear in Islamic Slut Zombies from Kabul. "I thought we were making art," she said.
Boston Red Sox For Sale?
Fans have been scouring eBay for the listing. We suspect price of the team will include free shipping.
The iPhone and the iPad have developed some kind of technical problem, however, Apple have announced that it has an immediate free fix called the eyepatch!
Octomoms new house attacked
Hardcore pornography fans have attacked the home of Nadya Suleman stating that her film is an insult to erotica.
US Drone Obliterates Scottish Pipe Band
And a bee hive.
Osbourne appoints joint governors of the Bank of England
George Osbourne today announced that Paul and Barry Chuckle would jointly replace Mervyn King as Bank of England governor. In a statement from No 11 he said "They can count higher than me."
Live frog found in Waitrose salad bag
Mother was left hopping mad after her daughter found a live frog in a bag of salad she bought from her local Waitrose in Hampshire.
"Never happy some people - it proves it was fresh!"
Children Of The Crown
Prince William has said he wants to have two children….one for weekdays and one for Sunday best.
Bobby Valentine Ejected Again!
Many fans thought he was auditioning for the lead role in the HBO series The Walking Dead, which is likely to be his next job.
Salmond blames job losses on the Olympics
... but was delighted that it was a platform for Scottish sporting success. You can't have it both ways chubby!
David Cameron apologises in the Commons today for the Hillsborough disaster
...After waiting for all the liars and perverter's of justice relating to the disaster to conveniently die!
Robbie Williams: I want Andy Murray in my pants!
He wants to see him modelling his Farrell Fashion label undies.
Elton and Cliff might too!
Respect Party leaader, Salma Yaqoob quits!
The leader of the Respect Party, Salma Yaqoob, resigns and quits the party, blaming a "breakdown in trust" at senior levels within the organisation.
"Your turn now Cameron!"
Osborne: Capitalism is essential for Britain's survival!
As Ken Livingstone said:
World wide capitalism kills more people everyday than Hitler did. And he was crazy
"He's right you know!"
Matt Smith needs all his energy to play the Doctor!
Matt Smith has played Doctor Who for three years and it seems the role is starting to take its toll on him.
"Who'd have thought it!"
50,000 bogus students flooded into Britain
Following disastrous immigration reforms.
"I'm not surprised!"
Hey, Mr. President, Your Insurance Agent Called.
He said your foreign policy has lapsed.