Spoof news snippets from Monday 10 September 2012
Only Tom Brady's Nose Knows
Tom may be in the nose for news department and out of the runny nose department after he took a knee to his proboscis during a game Sunday.
What a car wreck.
Lady Ga-Ga to perform Diana Tribute...hopefully a one-night stand in the back of a Mercedes-Benz W14O in the Pont de l'alma road tunnel, France!
Too much Monkey business!
A man has been arrested at New Delhi airport trying to board a flight to Dubai with a seven-inch Loris monkey hidden in his underpants...I bet his new girlfriend is well pissed-off!
Tory MP damages 4 cars and blames Maggie Thatcher!
Sir Tony Baldry parked his Merc and it went AWOL damaging 4 cars on the way! He wasn't pissed but swore he saw his ex-boss, Maggie Thatcher, behind the wheel, but she couldn't remember a thing!
Clare Balding shocks public by coming out
"I'm not really bald - this is my own hair!"
Para-troopers barred from entering the Games by George Lucas.
Patriot Gronkowski's Spike Goes Awry
Looking like David Copperfield (the magician), Gronk went to spike the football after his latest TD-and the ball had mysteriously disappeared. He looked in amazement at his empty hands.
Tory MPs demand more rights against burglars!
At last... something I can agree with!
Prince Harry deployed to Afghanistan
To atone for naked pictures, claims Taliban!
"You never know..."
John Terry out of Ukraine clash
Not having a lot of luck is he?
HMS Ark Royal to be sold off as scrap metal
Why not moor her up as a tourist attraction?
Then sell of the metal hearts of government Ministers?
Senior Citizens are the Nations Leading Carriers of Aids!
3 ministers cried getting the sack from Cameron!
Serves the Tory git's right - millions of citizens have reason to cry since Cameron got in office!
Briton scoops £37m on Euro Lottery!
A British ticketholder scooped last night's EuroMillions jackpot of more than £37million.
"Oh good, I'm so glad for them..."