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Rating:

Football Association unveil Centre of Excellence

The FA decided to go with the name Centre of Excellence rather than the first choice name Centre of Averageness.

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

FA decide Cashley Cole can play against San Marino

The reason being he makes less mistakes as a left back than he does when he's tweeting.

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

A Coast Call

A tourist who dropped his I-Phone between rocks at the beach rang the Coastguard. Didn't realize voice activated control was so advanced.

written by Backandtotheleft, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Justin Lee Collins found not funny.

He's been ordered to doo 140 hours writing to improve his material.

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Best name for a wireless network

The names on WiFi routers can be changed, although most don't bother. During a routine check, police in Poole found an unprotected router the owner claimed had never been hacked, its name? Honey Trap.

written by IainB, 09 October 2012
Rating:

MP calls for inquiry into Newcastle United sponsorship

Ian Lavery, MP for Wansbeck asks the Football Association to investigate Radio DJ Terry Wonga Pay Day Loans sponsoring Newcastle United.

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Justin Lee Collins found guilty of harassing ex

With JLC sentenced to 140 hours of community service, it means he is replaced at the top of the Justin Celebrity League, by The Bieber, who dropped down a place after vomiting on stage last week.

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Liverpool manager, Brendan Rodgers, starts his apprenticeship at Man Utd!

Liverpool jonkie Brendan Rodgers has decided to learn how to do it the right way by joining Sir Alex Ferguson's apprenticeship school; incognito of course!

written by Jaggedone, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Bedford OAP's swear their plant was a daisy and not a cannabis!

An innocent OAP couple in Bedford, UK, bought a plant believing that it was a daisy plant; it turned out to be a cannabis plant and now the local hoodies are into caring for their OAP's!

written by Jaggedone, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Social workers slam Eastenders storyline

Only 27 years late!

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Boris Johnson calls David Cameron a 'broom'

He told delegates at the Tory Conference that Cameron is sweeping up Labours mess.

Sweeping up the mess - manual labour - don't Tories hire plebs to do that for them?

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Lady Gaga wears witch outfit to visit Julian Assange in Ecudorian Embassy

Perhaps she got a fancy dress party invitation from Julian Clary and the apple maps app sent her to the wrong place?

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Lady Gaga visits Julian Assange in Ecudorian Embassy

"So nice to see you Julian, lovely place you have here, you must come and visit me for tea when your in the States"...

Or not, as the case may be...

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Danny Devito and Rhea Pearlman in marriage split.

The shortest people with the longest marriage in Hollywood have gone their separate ways.
Shame they couldn't find some middle ground to agree on.

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Savile Row tailors called for street to be renamed.

Posh suit makers claim business affected by Radio 1 DJ.

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Championship side Bolton sack manager Owen Coyle

They're looking for Usain Bolt to take on the job, in the hope he replicates the success of Mancini at Man City, and Arsene at Arsenal.

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Gary Lineker apologizes for saying Muslim footballer ate grass

Lineker made the comment on Al Jazeera after the player celebrated a goal by kneeling down and praying.
This from Lineker, who sh*t his pants on the pitch in 1990 in front of a 25 million tv audience

written by radiogagger, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Tories to clarify buggery law.

From now on it will be fine for the rich to make the country bend over and take a stiff one where the sun don't shine.

written by John_L, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Ganja Heaven

Ganja Heaven has been found in Bedford where an elderly couple bought a cannabis plant from a car boot sale. It grew into a massive shrub thought to be worth thousands of pounds.

written by IN SEINE, 09 October 2012
Rating:

What Boris Really Means When He Called David Cameron a Broom

London Mayor, Boris Johnson called David Cameron a broom saying that he sweeps up Labour's mess. What he really means is that David Cameron is related to Basil Brush… BROOM BROOM!

written by IN SEINE, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Cameron given birthday cake

To celebrate the PM's Birthday the Tory members of the cabinet went to a local orphanage and stole a five year old orphans Birthday cake. Dave said he was pleased that they were all in it together.

written by John_L, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 138

"Unemployed"

by

Anita Job

written by IN SEINE, 09 October 2012
Rating:

David Blaine Charged!

Stuntman, David Blaine has been charged for not paying the electricity bill for having 1 million faults surround his body for 72 hours. Was it all worth it?

written by IN SEINE, 09 October 2012
Rating:

Vladimir Umanets Arrested After Writing On Painting At London's Tate Modern

'I was only improving the Rothko,' he explained, while being taken away by police. 'For my next work, I've always thought that one of those curly moustaches would look rather good on the Mona Lisa.'

written by Swan Morrison, 09 October 2012
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