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Rating:

Megan Stammers to move schools.

The teenage girl who sparked a Europe wide manhunt when she ran off with her teacher will finish her GCSE's at convent school staffed entirely by elderly Nuns.

written by John_L, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Arm-a-gett'n To Be "By Invite Only"

Attention campers!Those of you who plan to attend The Self-Inflicted Bar Fight at the end of time should be advised that the event is an "invitational" A clean Sullivan and Cromwell T-shirt is a must!

written by The parakeet of Kaborka, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Westboro Baptist Church Leader Arrested

Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps arrested and charged with espionage, treason, attempted murder and collusion with a known terrorist organization.

written by Heeke, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Irregular? Or are you a regular here?

Regular irregularity and irregular irregularity are not the same thing as getting your irregularity regularly. You got to do it everyday folks!

written by The parakeet of Kaborka, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Tennis to introduce Grunting Ban.

New rules to stop female tennis players screaming as they strike the ball were approved today. This came after CBS' decency chip launched which switches off WTA matches as it interprets them as porn.

written by John_L, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Historian Eric Hobsbawm dies

Doctors said the 95 year old lost the will to live after watching 30 seconds of 'Andrew Marr's History of the World' last night. Other historians have been warned against watching the program.

written by John_L, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Europe Win (shaun) Ryder Cup!!

America's Davis Love the third, Keegan Bradley, Tiger Eldrich Woods, Webb Simpson and Bubba Watson also lose the orthodox name contest

written by Talking Tic-Tacs, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Going to The Candidates Debate:

Romney pulls an all-nighter. Obama hosts a kegger.

written by Adam Click, 01 October 2012
Rating:

October Surprise is right!

Romney Campaign Takes Torpedo Up Aft Tube!
Direct Hit to Magazine Section! But Wait, This Is News 'aint it? So be it! Missouri Synod Lutheran Lottery winner hits big-time with Rev 22:18-19, 94 more!

written by The parakeet of Kaborka, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Government call for a telly ban

With kids watching too much TV, the government have called for the telly ban to be introduced in the UK. "I'm not sure it's a good idea," said Ed Milliband. "Having seen what they did in Afghanistan!"

written by IainB, 01 October 2012
Rating:

'Countryfile' presenter denies sexting

Adam Henson the shows resident farmer has denied sending an explicit text to a BBC producer. "It was a photo of a rare Cockerel" Henson protested "I guess the text wasn't all that clear."

written by John_L, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 141

"The History of Rock 'n' Roll"

by

Tristan Shout

written by IN SEINE, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Illegal Immigrant Trying to Enter Spain Disguised As Car Seat

An illegal immigrant tried to enter Spain disguised as a car seat. He had to give himself up when the 22 stone woman sitting on him, FARTED. However, DFS are interested in employing him in their adverts.

written by IN SEINE, 01 October 2012
Rating:

G4S to take over the NHS

Jeremy Hunt commented "Letting G4S run the Health Service will solve any future pension crisis and cure our aging society"

written by John_L, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Chair bites old man in Hollywood

A folding chair has collapsed under Clint Eastwood for the third time this week. It is seen as part of a revenge plot by chairs after his rant at the RNC. Eastwood has taken to using leaning boards.

written by John_L, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Some two dozen topless women protested in New York!

24 topless women protested in a New York on a hot, Sunday: What they called "National Go-Topless Day" to draw attention to inequality in topless rights between men and women.

"Damn, I missed it!"

written by Inchcock, 01 October 2012
Rating:

Nepali man bites Cobra snake to death in revenge attack

55 year old Miya said: "I could have killed it with a stick but bit it with my teeth instead because I was so angry!"

"Got to admire the man ain't yer?"

written by Inchcock, 01 October 2012
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