Spoof news snippets from Friday 9 November 2012
Not the right cock up!
"Stick it in the curry!"
Britain to end financial aid to India in 2015, thereafter India will send aid to the UK!!
White America fights back
Members of the Glad I'm A White American organisation have promised to bring down President Obama following his reelection on Tuesday. "Can't stand him, won't suffer him" said one angry follower.
A Luton man has been caught writing bad poetry in his living room. "People round here can't stand sloppy verse" said PC O'Neill from the local constabulary. The man will serve 16 years for his crime.
Nicely Played Bill I
Pres. Obama's loss of the WH to Gov. Romney could signal a war between Clinton Democrats and Obama loony left Democrats for control of the party, definitely paving the way for Hillary in 2016!
Nicely Played Bill II
Pres. Obama's win of the WH over Gov. Romney could signal a temporary truce between Clinton Democrats and Obama loony left Democrats, possibly paving the way for Hillary in 2016!
Nicely Played Bill III
Republicans retaining control of the US House could signal a war between Clinton Democrats and Obama loony left Democrats for control of the party, definitely paving the way for Hillary in 2016!
Bridging the Fiscal Cliff
Current HS Boehner (R-OH) might raise taxes on the rich if President Obama, SML Reid (D-NV) and former HS Pelosi (D-CA) agree to pay back the $6 trillion they squandered in the last four years!
No More Thin Air
Colorado has legalized marijuana use. Former VP Al Gore has invited President Obama to again speak in Denver to determine if the marijuana smoke thickens the air!
Armchair liberals voted for Pres. Obama to assuage their guilt for living in all white neighborhoods. In 2016 as the tanking US economy & high taxes affect their lifestyle they will vote Republican!
Education Funding Solutions
First it was state lotteries to finance public schools, then taxes from slot machines/casino gambling and yet the money keeps disappearing. What next taxes from prostitution and marijuana parlors!
The Day After
NYSE DOW Jones Average drops 313 points after President Obama was reelected. Oops, the Dow should be going up and the unemployment rate should be going down!
They're Not all in the Loony Bin
Chris Matthews of MSNBC News' message; "I'm so glad" about Hurricane Sandy which helped President Obama look presidential. Just think what a 9.6 magnitude earthquake would have done!
Presidential Acceptance Speech Translated
Obama calls for compromise pledging to work with leaders of both parties to reduce the deficit; to reform tax code & immigration laws; & cut foreign oil dependence (more spending, taxes & regulations).
Presidential Election Results
LOSERS: Republican M. Romney & GOP Senatorial candidates; BIG LOSERS: N. Pelosi (D-CA) & DNC Chair D. Wasserman, as Democrats still a minority in the US House; Republican pundit D. Morris; & the USA!
Pre-Election Polling Results
At a major US airport shop Obama Tee Shirts outsold Romney Tee shirts, while Romney pins outsold Obama pins. However, Republicans didn't get to pin the tail on the Democratic donkey!
It's 2010 All over Again
LONE RANGER: GOP Senatorial candidates in MO and IN shot themselves in the foot by shooting off their mouths about rape not justifying an abortion. TONTO: Snatching defeat from the Jaws of victory!
LONE RANGER: Where was President Obama during the time the US embassy in Libya was being overrun? TONTO: Not where he was supposed to be!
Eastern European Politics
A Democratic far left group in Ohio claimed that a voting machine manufacturer supporting Republican Mitt Romney tampered with the machines, yet it was Democrats who tried to commit voter fraud!