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Newly French Joey Barton wants to stay at Marseille

He claims he can't come back to England because he's completely forgotten how to speak English since he learned French.

Missing you already.

written by Simon Saunders, 30 November 2012
Rating:

The Catholic diocese of Milan increases specially trained exorcism priests from 6 to 12

If anyone requires the exorcism service they can call a newly set up hotline that's been established to deal with an increasing volume of calls.

It's an easy number to remember, just dial 666.

written by Simon Saunders, 30 November 2012
Rating:

Nutritionists Issue Health Warning

Nutritionists at St. Philbert's Medical College have advised people to keep away from fruit and nuts. They say :"you are what you eat!"

written by IN SEINE, 30 November 2012
Rating:

Waking Up to UKIP

It is sleepy time down south and the nightmare is not yet over.

written by j.w., 30 November 2012
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Milton Keynes Arsonist Strikes Again!

A suspected arsonist burned down a shoe factory in Milton Keynes today. A spokesman said: "over 200 soles were lost."

written by IN SEINE, 30 November 2012
Rating:

Shock find in McD's

Chip found in the salt

written by ExiledRoyal, 30 November 2012
Rating:

Christmas Countdown

Only 3 more Chelsea managers to go

written by ExiledRoyal, 30 November 2012
Rating:

Memory-Man Banned From Bookstore

A man with a photographic memory has been stopped from browsing in branches of Snarbes & Bonles. Apparently he was recalling the books at home without paying for them.

written by David Grant, 30 November 2012
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Cameron clear on Leveson

"I understand the recommendations that Leveson proposes and I will do exactly what Mr Murdoch tells me to do." the Prime Minister said yesterday.

written by John_L, 30 November 2012
Rating:

Channel Four to screen controversial Christmas Message

Channel Four will screen a Christmas message recorded by Sir Jimmy Savile in 2002 at 3pm Christmas Day. It was originally recoded to be their alternative to the Queen but Sharon Osbourne's went out.

written by John_L, 30 November 2012
Rating:

Red Bull announce limited edition flavor.

The new flavor will be named 'Fernando's Sour Grapes' after Formula one runner up Fernando Alonso who is a very sore loser.

written by John_L, 30 November 2012
Rating:

Plumbers braced for record call outs tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the busiest day of the year tomorrow for plumbers as men shave off their Movember tashes causing blocked sinks everywhere.

written by John_L, 30 November 2012
Rating:

Plumbers braced for record call outs tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the busiest day of the year tomorrow for plumbers as men shave off their Movember tashes causing blocked sinks everywhere.

written by John_L, 30 November 2012
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