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Eddie Stobart lands outer-space contract!

Giant trucking company Eddie Stobart has landed the contract to bring goods to the space-centre in outer space (where else?). He is over the moon!

written by Jaggedone, 22 May 2012
Rating:

"WTF!"

Asbo's to be axed in 'blitz' (sic) on bad behaviour.....thats on par with a court martial to the average lowlife scrout!!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Record Breakers

People could be queuing at airports for up to 4 hours during the Olympics...unless of course they make a break for it and 'hurdle' the barriers!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Luvvie time.

Its that time of the year again when we have the BAFTA awards inflicted upon us: or as they are known.....
B........Bloody
A........Awful
F........Feckin'
T........Television
A........Anglais.

written by Herrdoktorfox, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Launch success for SpaceX mission

They confirmed they have successfully launched a spaceship into space at 3am this morning with Piers Morgan on board on a one way ticket.
(Sadly, I might have made the Piers Morgan bit up)

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Man Dressed as Dead Mom for Years

Pyscho! or just a fraud?

Story here

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

West Ham win promotion to the Olympic Stadium

WHU beat Blackpool 2-1, gaining promotion to the Olympic Stadium. Sadly this means that Leyton Orient will probably be relegated to bankrupty. When asked to comment, Boris Johnson said "Leyton Who?"

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Britney Spears to join X Factor as judge.

Finally!
Someone to champion the bald, slightly deranged acts who enter the show each year.

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Al Gore Has 'Serious Girlfriend'

Seen getting hot and heavy with a democratic donor.

They have rumoured to have spent many nights together, discussing 'global warming'. As you do.

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Cheerleader kicks herself in the face

Curb your enthusiasm lass.

Watch here

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Facebook shares plummet in value.

Friday: debuted on NASDAQ at $38 per share, valuing entire company at $104 billion.
Monday: shares drop to 38 cents, valuing the entire company at $38.
Tuesday: Mark Zuckerberg files for bankruptcy

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Polls suggest Obama will dump Biden for Hilary.

He's going off gay marriage already?

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Five year old boy loses 50k on betting website

I bet that's the last time John Terry asks his kids for advice.

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Cutbacks on Olympic countdown clock

Today is 66 days to the start of the games, but organisers have just turned the '99 days' sign upside down.

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Drogba confirms Chelsea departure.

"I don't want to stay at Chelsea" he sang as he packed his kit bag for the last time.

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Royal Mail warns of Olympics post delays

This sounds suspiciously like a 'leave on the line' type excuse...

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Cameron says he is 'driven like Margaret Thatcher'

Hopefully not in the back of a NewsCorpse limo...

written by queen mudder, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 58

"Downpour!"

by

Wayne Dropps

written by IN SEINE, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Tesco boss turns down £400,000 bonus

Instead he's asked for it in Clubcard points and a bag for life.

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Fernando Torres going nowhere, say Chelsea

Particularly near the pitch and penalty area say snippet writers.

written by radiogagger, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Stradivarius cello broken in accident!

It's housed at the Spanish Royal Palace, & was broken in an accident, an official said Monday. The instrument could be worth more than $20 million.

"Was Inchcock in the area at the time?"

written by Inchcock, 22 May 2012
Rating:

The longest word ever used in the House of Commons is floccinaucinihilipilification!

Conservative MP Jacob Rees-Mogg used floccinaucinihilipilification in the House of Commons!

I found Anticonstitucionalissimamente - "in a very unconstitutional way" more fitting for the Coalition!

written by Inchcock, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Alaska man plans year on uninhabited island!

Charles Baird (40) is going off the grid for a year. He'll move to the mostly uninhabited Latouche Island in Alaska's Prince William Sound at the end of May!

"Wish it could have been me!"

written by Inchcock, 22 May 2012
Rating:

The UK is the world's third-largest purchaser of human hair!

The year before, we were the twelfth largest.

"Can we blame Wayne Rooney?"

written by Inchcock, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Teen arrested after homework left at crime scene!

An 18-year-old Utah man was arrested. Orem police say they tracked a USB drive found at the burglarized home to Dallas Naljahih, the drive had his homework on it.

"The fool!"

written by Inchcock, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Revealed: The Oldest Yoga Teacher In The World!

Tao, (93) who has been teaching yoga for 61 years, runs classes at a dance studio in Harstdale, a suburb 25 miles outside of New York City, despite her replaced hip!

"Good for her!"

written by Inchcock, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Fury As Alzheimer Centre To Close

"Forgive and forget" urges Government spokesman.

written by asphyxiation, 22 May 2012
Rating:

Government Plans To Slash Workers Rights

Backing Beecrofts' plan, Cameron said;"Ultimately, our aim is for 100% unemployment before the next election. We feel these proposals go a long way toward achieving this".

written by asphyxiation, 22 May 2012
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