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Rating:

Rumours about the Queens Health!

After tests over at Balmoral Hospital, Her Majesty was pronounced to be in reasonably good health. However, as a precaution, palace staff were ordered to remove all buckets from the Queen's path!

written by raburcke, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Underwear rebranding

The trades description council have asked for G-Strings to be renamed, after it was revealed that people wearing them fart in the key of C.

written by IainB, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Roy Hodgson names Euro 2012 England squad.

No space for Rio Ferdinand, Peter Crouch and Micah Richards.
Takes John Terry, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Stewart Downing.

Down, down deeper and down???

written by radiogagger, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Kenny Dalglish sacked by Liverpool (part 2)

Choose your own punchline
* Woy Hodgson has Wuled Himself Out of Wace to Weplace Ken
* I dinnae ken'
* 'King Kenny' will be replaced by Prince William as caretaker manager

written by radiogagger, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Kenny Dalglish sacked by Liverpool (part 1)

Choose your own punchline...

* See you jimmy!
* You'll Never Walk Alone - or work again
* They Think It's All Over - It Is Now

written by radiogagger, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Queen's Diamond Jubilee tour reaches Lancashire

Excerpt from her speech
"I read the news today oh boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
I'd love to turn you on"

written by JAB, 16 May 2012
Rating:

UKs 1st foreign trade surplus in cars since 1976!

The firms are Nissan, Toyota, Jaguar, and Mini.

Owned by Japanese, German, and Indian companies!

Well done Brown & Cameron!

written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Miliband admits: We lost the plot when we were in government!

"Our political reporter Bartholomew Utterswaithe reports they are still looking for it!"

written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Hollande to meet Merkel to discuss the eurozone's fiscal treaty!

We are unsure of which train carriage they will in yet.

written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Extra UK border staff to be hired

Immigration minister says 70 extra staff will be recruited.
Bogdan Petrescu, Vojvoda Bogut, & Carlos Kolosavanos will be heading up the new team, based in the Outer Hebrides.

written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Roy Hodgson drops Rio Ferdinand!

Well he shouldn't picked him up in the first place surely?

written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Snow falls in the UK … in May!

"I blame the Coalition meself!"

written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 52

"Life on the Ranch"

by

Brandon Cowz

written by IN SEINE, 16 May 2012
Rating:

New Jersey town begins issuing $85 fines for texting while walking!

The Fort Lee Police Department has issued 117 tickets for reckless walking in the past month, with offenders being forced to pay the penalty.

"Oh?"

written by Inchcock, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Man self-immolates near Breivik trial in Oslo

When you set fire to something you're an arsonist. If you set fire to yourself shouldn't you be called a arsenist

written by JAB, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Tom Cruise in Playboy: 'When Katie Holmes walks into the room, I feel better'

Mainly cause his chin just comes up to her boobs

written by JAB, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Jolie forks over $1M on chopper, lessons for beau Brad Pitt

I guess they won't be adopting for awhile

written by JAB, 16 May 2012
Rating:

Dongman's ex Elin with Dingman

Elin Nordegren's romance with wealthy businessman Jamie Dingman continues to quietly heat up, while her ex Tiger 'Dongman' Woods' continues having trouble with his putter

written by JAB, 16 May 2012
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