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11th May 1997 Deep Blue computer beats chess grandmaster Garry Kasparov

Since that day in 1997 computers have learned even more and are now defeating people around the world on a daily basis with the 'Blue Screen of Death' checkmate move

written by Frank Unreasoning, 11 May 2012
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Power outage disrupts BT services in parts of Sussex!

Thousands of BT customers in Eastbourne, Polegate, Hailsham and parts of Brighton & Sussex have had their telephone and internet services disrupted by a power outage.

"Well fancy that!"

written by Inchcock, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Bungay 6 Bungay 6: Bizarre footie match: every player had the same name!

In fact not only did all 22 players have the surname 'Bungay', so did the referee, linesmen and substitutes!

Mirror

written by Inchcock, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Sir Alex Ferguson converts to Catholicism!

In a final desperate hope for a "Holy intervention" SAF has discarded his Protestant god for the Catholic one; in his hopeless situation any thing helps!

written by Jaggedone, 11 May 2012
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Rebekah Brooks gives evidence to the Leveson Inquiry

According to the red headed former red top editor Prime Minister David Cameron thought that LOL meant "Lots of love."

I wonder if he knows what FFS means.

written by Simon Saunders, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Study: Obesity Epidemic to Continue

In unrelated news, shares in McDonalds and KFC up a quarter.

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
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London jogger: Dustin Hoffman saved my life.

Sam Dempster collapsed while jogging in Hyde Park, but his life was saved when Hoffman spotted him collapse and called 999.
Just as well it was Dustin who found him and not John Travolta...

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Gay marriage legalised by the back door?

Sounds painful.

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Mini-me calls for withdrawal from Afghanistan

Support For Afghan War Hits New Low.

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

John Travolta accused of sexual battery!

He only popped in to charge his phone.

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Queen's speech notable for its omissions

She never mentioned my Rihanna & Ashton Kutcher snippet :(

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
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Mitt Romney against Gay Marriage.

Two stag nights? Sounds expensive!

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

George Clooney raises $15M for Obama re-election campaign.

He found it down the back of his sofa.

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

70-Year-Old Virgin Seeking Suitor

Always wondered when a sequel to 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' was coming out...

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Tea Party to Abolish Donuts!

Ms. Sylvia Trumpet, spokeswoman for the Boston based Tea Party, reported that they have entered a bill to abolish the donut and replace it with crumpets. She added: "God save Queen Latifa!"

written by raburcke, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Obama explains Same-Sex marriage position

'One on top - one underneath - the same as normal sex positions'

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Obama endorses gay marriage

'Hey - two stag nights!'

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Obama Makes Gay Marriage Statement

Hey - think about - gay men don't get fat!
Vote for Obama!

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Was Jack The Ripper Really A Woman?

Jackie The Ripper?

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Long To Reign Over Us: Prince Charles Presents The Weather Live on the BBC

Finally - the sponger has got himself a real job!

written by radiogagger, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 47

" Come On In"

by

Doris O. Penn.

written by IN SEINE, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Political Quote of the week: Sir Paul Stephenson

Sir Paul Stephenson on Neil Wallis: "I had no reason to connect Wallis with phone hacking. I had no reason to doubt his impropriety." (meaning propriety)

Nice one!

written by Inchcock, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Political Quote of the week: Rupert Murdoch

Rupert Murdoch: "The most humble day of my life!"

Meaning so far surely?

written by Inchcock, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Standford Hill prisoners in Kent 'prevented from working'

Prisoners could not afford travel costs as they are charged 2/5ths of their earnings to help support victims.

"I think honest people are charged more than 2/5ths in tax, NI, and transport costs?"

written by Inchcock, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Stafford Hospital's A&E overnight closure extended

The closure of Stafford Hospital's accident and emergency unit has been extended until October!

"Very comforting that!"

written by Inchcock, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Political Quote of the week: Fraser Nelson

Fraser Nelson says that it's about time politcians started lurching towards the public!

"I like it!"

written by Inchcock, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Political Quote of the week: Michelle Mulherin

Spelling out the birds and the bees to a stunned Irish parliament!
"Fornication is probably the single most likely cause of unwanted pregnancies in this country!"

"Amazing disclosure!"

written by Inchcock, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Political Quote of the week: Ann Romney

"We better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out!" Responding to criticism that her husband, US Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, is too stiff!

"Fair enough!"

written by Inchcock, 11 May 2012
Rating:

ERROR Found On The Internet!!!

This reporter saw something incredible on some spurious site, which shall remain anonymous: "Teaching a broad guide". Surely, they can not be thought! Methinks this was a typo...

written by raburcke, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Learn to Speak Chinese Now...

Before it's too late!

written by Adam Click, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Obama Says "Yes!" to Biden's Gay marriage Proposal

"The White House is pleased to announce the engagement of Mister Barack Hussein Obama to Mister Joesph Robinette Biden Esquire."

written by Adam Click, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Games terminated

The London Olympics have been cancelled due to a plumbing problem with the change rooms at the main stadium. Officials have been unable to identify the source of the problem but think it stinks anyway

written by whatinthe world, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Somali pirates strike again

The Games of the Thirtieth Olympiad have been cancelled after Somali pirates kidnapped the entire London Organising Committee. A ransom of 500 gold medals for Somalia was sought to annoy the Brits.

written by whatinthe world, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Games cancelled

In emerging news, the London Olympics have been cancelled because British PM David Cameron wasn't selected as a contestant in the 4 x 100 metres relay swimming event. Cameron is really ticked off!!

written by whatinthe world, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Games off

In breaking news, the Games of the Thirtieth Olympiad due to start in London have been cancelled. Key members of the organising committee instead want to arrange a street party with lots of music.

written by whatinthe world, 11 May 2012
Rating:

We Can't Wait Till 2014

Republicans are circulating a petition to draft Maryland's Democratic tax and spend governor to replace VP Biden on the 2012 Democratic presidential ticket! He would have to resign the governorship!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Prevarication of the Week

Democratic House Minority Leader Pelosi rejected any suggestion that President Obama was looking to use his announcement supporting same sex marriage to raise campaign funds.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Quick Call the ACLU

The food police ask President Obama to ban himself & First Lady Michelle, via executive order, from eating junk food in public. The first couple would become closet liberal double cheeseburger eaters!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Throw the Spaghetti at the Wall

The best friend of the Republican Party is VP Biden's foot-in mouth. The Democrats were avoiding President Obama tap dancing around the Gay marriage issue and the VP stirs up the hornet's nest!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Republican Internal Politics

The worst enemy of the Republican Party is the Republican Party. The defeat of Senator Lugar (R-IN) has Democrats ecstatic that they can repeat picking up a seat in 2012, just like Delaware in 2010!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 May 2012
Rating:

A Political Decision

After four years and pressure from gay rights activists, President Obama endorsed the right of same-sex couples to marry. The president needs every vote he can get in the 2012 presidential election!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 May 2012
Rating:

New Lawsuit Territory for Lawyers

A couple is suing a cell phone caller for pain and suffering. The couple were in a motel room when the phone rang at a very inopportune moment, required retrieving the phone from a side table!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 May 2012
Rating:

At Least You Know the Tea Party's Positions

Democratic governor of NC was asked about her views on Gay marriage, the NC Constitutional amendment and the party convention to be held in Charlotte. A blank video tape contains more information!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Old Scouting Joke

Massachusetts Democratic Senate hopeful Elizabeth Warren claims American Indian ancestry. Yep, she has been overheard many times when politically lost saying whee the Fuckaewe!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Same Mantra Four Years Later

Vice President Biden blamed the USA's rocky negotiations with Iran on the Bush administration. How do you say in Farsi, Democratic far left BULLSHIT to avoid talking about Obama's failed policies?


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 11 May 2012
Rating:

Obama Welcomes America!

Obama has apparently just realised that he was in effect elected President of the United States and is planning to hold his inaugural speech on Monday! Long live the Idiot!

written by raburcke, 11 May 2012
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