Order by:
Rating:

One-Eyed Matador Returns to Ring

He will start out with three-legged bulls!

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Obama Gets Tough

Obama says he's not bluffing on Iran military option. "You hear me up NYC Lower East Side?"

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Obama Birth Certificate Maybe Forged, Sheriff Joe Arpaio Says

"Also, Jeremiah Wright is his real daddy!"

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

PM Cameron Denies Mounting Horse

Prime Minister David Cameron in trying to clarify the episode about retired police horse 'Raisa,' said, "I did not mount her, except when I got on her…, oh, bloody hell, forget it."

written by JAB, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Israel takes "Iranian Nuclear Threat Seriously"

When the Israeli Air Force Commander in Chief was asked, how Israel would respond to Iran, replied, "Gentlemen, start your engines!"

written by JAB, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Obama not Bluffing on Iran

"If Iran builds a nuclear weapon, we won't buy Persian cats, rugs or falafel, we may revoke the citizenships of Andre Agassi & Christiane Amanpour, Iran must know we mean business," said the President

written by JAB, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Iranian Leader Responds to President Obama's Threat

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad responded to President Obama's threat over his country's nuclear program with, "Naa-na-na-naa-na."

written by JAB, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Ky. School Nixes Sports

Kentucky school in bad shape financially to replace all sports with whole school playing "Fox & Hounds" twice a week.

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Something To Look Forward To?

Next year's shows on network TV promises to be just as crappy as this seasons.

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

What's Up With Them?

Middle Eastern country somehow happy as a lark.

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Hairdresser Loses it!

Local hairdresser goes bonkers after being fired. Over two hundred newly bald heads in Montgomery, Alabama.

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Ex Smith Morrissey is as "common as muck!"

Morrissey, second rate pop singer has claimed that The Falklands are Argentinian. He was touring Argentina at the time. Falklands vet's can't wait until he returns home, they'll blow him away!

written by Jaggedone, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Joker Returns?

Heath Ledger: Tell Batman that I'm finally ready to take him on....BRAINS!!

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Apple worth more than Poland ($500 billion)

Well at least Poland is unlikely to be invaded by neighbours anytime soon.

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

David Cameron rode retired police horse loaned to Rebekah Brooks

"She was a great ride, she'd do anything for a bit of sugar" said Cam

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Occupy LSX (St Pauls) 137 days cleared in 137 minutes.

It's a new Guinness world record!

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

No mention of John Terry captaincy scandal in England programme v Holland

You could say it was a whitewash.

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

EU Signs Fiscal Treaty

Inbetween everyone sniggering at EU president Herman Van Rompuy's funny name.

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Hilary Clinton joins Women In The World summit

Go sisters! Monica Lewinsky not invited.

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Rubbish footballers earn too much says Robbie Savage

Well he should know.

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Cher Lloyd's parents don't want her back.

They converted her bedroom into a dining room a week after she moved out.
Looks like we're stuck with her then.

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Serbia Pleased With Its EU Candidacy

"We would be happy to send 100 dinar to Greece", says government spokesman.

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Ex-Student Sues College

Ex-Mass. student sues college over roommate's sex. "I could never tell which sex he/she was. After two years rooming with Pat, I'm all freaked out."

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Dr. Oz Warning

Dr. Oz says that it's very important to read all drug labels. "If it says 'take one a day by mouth', you take it by mouth. No fooling around."

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

No Terrorist

Drunk man arrested driving on Philly runway was apparently trying to get up enough speed to "Take Off!"

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

US Offered Help

Mexican, Columbian drug lords offer to help pay off US debt. "We cannot afford all these billions to become worthless."

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

US, Russian Admit Foopah

CIA, Russian KGB admit that Liechtenstein may have stolen all their nuclear launch codes and has shared them with Monaco.

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Cash-strapped Italy pushes Vatican to pay more taxes!

The pope tells secretary to check the petty cash drawer. "That should do it."

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Campaign's Getting Out Of Control

'Go to hell Barack' ad ignites controversy! Is 'Romney Eats Babies' next?

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Dems Defend Obama Government Takeovers

Exclusive: In '02 Romney loved federal money. "So see", say Dems. "He's almost as bad as our guy."

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Chancellor George Osborne drafts tax dodging law

Treasury shuts down bank schemes designed to save about £500m in tax. Excellent news - assuming it will go towards NHS and building new prisons, not MPs duck farms, second homes and other expenses.

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

iPad 3 May Be Unveiled Next Week.

Look out for loads of ipad and ipad2 on ebay, sunday markets and street corners from blokes in dark glasses and raincoats.

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Barclays is UK's most complained about bank

Must have been a close run thing though.
Barclays should ask for a recount.

written by radiogagger, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Ed Miliband told: Move to le Left

It came after the Labour leader met socialist French presidential candidate Francois Hollande.

"Well I wish he'd move somewhere - the further the better!"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Nick Seddon: NHS Reforms will Benefit Patients

Nick Seddon, Reform's deputy director, is a liar!

If he'd said ' NHS Reforms will Benefit Rich Patients' then I'd believe the nepotistic swine!

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Englebert To Represent Britain In Eurovision Aged 98

A showbiz pal revealed he intends to give a rendition of "I'll Take The Last Rites With You"

written by Clive Danton, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Eurovision Update

Edith Piaf to represent France at the Eurovision Song Contest. The singer is expected to perform from her casket, lip syncing to a newly (de)composed track.

written by robbbie85, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Prime Minister David Cameron has lead tributes to blinded police hero David Rathband

"But continues on with his plan to reduce the size of the Police Service enough to make it impotent!

The two faced, lying, nepotistic, greedy, git of a Prime Minister!"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

BBC pick 75-year-old Engelbert Humperdinck for the Eurovision 2012 contest

But BBC execs reckon Engelbert, who will perform a brand new song, will be a huge hit at the song contest in Baku, Azerbaijan, on May 26.

"Nil poi bring back memories?"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

The world's oldest vacuum cleaner still sucking up dust after 108 years

Harry Cox rescued the cleaner and accessories from a skip at work.

"And Mark Cox was Handcuffed and Charged with 'Theft by finding' when he took a damaged can of coke from a Tesco skip!"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Autistic boy choked to death on a sweet while ambulance could not find his street

It took 14 minutes for the ambulance to get arrive, because it couldn't find the road on the Ambulance computer system.

"Are you reading this Cameron? - Not that it would bother you at all!"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Belfast cops nab burglar caught in door letterbox

Police said it wasn't too hard to nab one would-be Belfast burglar - he managed to get his arm stuck while trying to reach through a front door letterbox.

"He was a mail burglar of course!"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Occupy movement spreads to Beijing lavatories! (With link)

A Chinese student is hoping to become a heroine for women around the world by launching an 'Occupy' movement - in the men's lavatory - in protest at waiting times.

Telegraph

"Well I never..!"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Pensioner stopped driving in wrong direction on motorway after 19 hours behind wheel!

Maureen Darvell, 83, had set off from her home in Ashford, Kent, on her way to Bristol. But the pensioner got confused on the M25 and ended up heading towards Bournemouth.

"Bless her, thank God she didn't kill anyone!"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Kenneth Clark: Bail for thugs who skip bail

One criminal breached court order 125 times, and still got bail again!

"Carry on Ken... knocking back the single malt and chomping on your cigars!"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

50 stone Nottingham woman who weighed more than entire family put together, drops over 30 stone for wedding!

She blew up from a petite 9 stone as a 16-year-old to over 50 stone by her 40th birthday.

She said: "Paul proposing to me focused my mind and gave me that incentive to lose weight."

"Good for her!"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Googgle took to court by Frenchman caught urinating!

The Google Street View showed him urinating in his front yard which he believes has made him the laughing stock of his village in rural northwest France.

"Taking the Piss!"

written by Inchcock, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Online Calculator Returns "Computation Timed Out" When Putting Equation

An online calculator returns "computation timed out" when inputting equations. According to the webmaster's e-mail, it may be possibly caused by stack overflow on the web server.

written by Rocko the Zen Wallaby, 02 March 2012
Rating:

'Tofu With Pig's Hand' Enrages Vegetarians

Vegetarians protest on Vegan Soldier's Veggie House after announcing a recipe known as "Tofu With Pig's Hand." The manager stated that they include a menu for non-vegetarians to increase revenue.

written by Rocko the Zen Wallaby, 02 March 2012
Rating:

NKorean Visitors On The Way

North Korean nuclear team visiting the US will have several guards. That's to make sure they don't stay here like previous times.

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

There Are Illus. For Blondes

Pediatricians reaffirm breastfeeding guidelines: "First place the baby up to your breast..."

written by Bureau, 02 March 2012
Rating:

Cameron caught farting

"But I was just breaking wind!" replied British PM David Cameron as he was lead away by Spanish Police from a Barcelona restaurant where he had been dining. Police charged him with violating peace.

written by whatinthe world, 02 March 2012
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