Order by:
Rating:

Killed 'Last Of The Summer Wine!'

Ex-Star on "Last of the Summer Wine" say show ended after 30+ years because of all the adult diaper breaks.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Flasher Arrested By Traffic Cop

Just retired 56-year-old man in Ohio looks 76 driving his new Jaguar. Penis size looks even shorter!

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Cheryl Cole admits to drunk dialling.

I wondered who all those calls were from.
(Thank god it wasn't Ant and Dec)

written by radiogagger, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Flashlights Come In Handy For Explorers

Spelunkers making way through over 300 miles of underground caves at Mammoth Cave, Kentucky run into Morlocks!

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Took Dynamite, Book of Amazing Magic Tricks Anyone Can Do

Flying over primitive people in jungle cut off from mankind, helicopter pilot retires, returns to jungle and becomes king with 12 wives.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Daily Express Latest (Saturday)

New Aspirin Fights Cancer
Madeline: Fresh Evidence Reopens Case.
All they were missing was a Diana conspiracy story for the perfect front page.

written by radiogagger, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Drunken Dad Blames Cat For Spill!

I coom hom and dat stupid cat caused me to spilt my puke all ober tha rug, honess truth, Hon!"

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Missing for weeks, hiker found alive in New Mexico forest!

"We couldn't see him for the trees", says rescuer who found him.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Obama strikes back at GOP critics on gas prices!

"Ain't my fault! Ain't my fault! Ain't my fault! Nyyaaaa! I can't hear you! George Bush! George Bush!!!!"

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Annie Lennox Emotional Over Women.

......."I know what you mean luv, I have the same feeling every time I look at page three of the Sun first thing every the morning!"

written by Herrdoktorfox, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Ginger?

Falkirk MP Eric Joyce shouted at Police "You can't touch me, I'm a gingerbread MP" on the night he attacked four Tory boy politicians in the House Of Commons bar...leave them funny pills alone Eric!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Unemployment soars to 55%

Unemployment soars to 55% for young black men...prompting the eternal cry; "is it cause I'm black innit?

written by Herrdoktorfox, 10 March 2012
Rating:

On the road to Rio

Royal in Rio: the 'ginger minger', Prince Haribo plays beach volleyball on Rio de Janeiro beach..how nice for him I'm so pleased that he is having such a wonderful holiday!!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Romney claims victory in Guam, Northern Marianas!

"It's all over now! Once you get both Guam and the Northern Marianas, you're in like Flynn", says Stephanopoulos!

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Firestone Accused Of "Dirty Tricks"

Today, Firestone Tires have recalled over 100,000 Cooper Tires! Say they had received over 2,000 tires before anyone caught on. Company apologizes, returns Cooper tires.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Spanking Guy Fired

TSA agent at airport who was fired for spanking women passengers says that he was only seeing if anything fell out.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Limbaugh Survives Threat

Rush Limbaugh has survived a sack of salt set over the entrance to his studio, Friday. Friends say he only melted about five pounds.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Guy Sure Had The Fans

Al-Qaida has announced that they now have put together "The Best of the Bin Laden" tapes and have already received over five hundred thousand orders the first day.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Meanwhile, Back At The Occupiers

DC Metro creates task force to handle men roaming system groping and masturbating. "Man, we have to have something to do. We're bored to death with this Occupying."

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Romney Looks For Votes in Pacific

Almost swept out to sea by strong undercurrent!

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

UK Government Adopts New Strategy To Target Welfare and Taxation Reforms

'Full financial, and personal details of all UK residents will be published in the Daily Mail,' confirmed a government spokesman.'The readership will then vote to decide how much money each deserves.'

written by Swan Morrison, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Republicans Release Latest Bumper Stickers

You'll be seeing thousands of cars saying "What Would Reagan Do?"

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Amish Lad Shunned

An Amish teen in Pennsylvania has been shunned after elders discover he went goth two years ago.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Poland pulls food suspected of having road salt!

But deny they ever used 'road kill' in any meat products!

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Coke, Pepsi to drop level of 'cancer' chemical!

"I know that none of us who ever worked for either company ever drank the stuff", says former worker.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Drew Brees denies knowledge of bounty program!

"He'll find out soon enough next season", says unnamed linebacker.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Quaids To Divorce

Dennis Quaid's 3rd or 4th (he's not quite sure) wife files for divorce in Texas.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Bruce Springsteen performs at the Apollo Theater

Bruce still doing high-energy performance but does take 3-hour break in middle of performance. But that's what the "beachball-in-crowd" is all about.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Smaller crowds challenge Putin after Russia poll

Many disappear completely. Relatives file missing person reports.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Romney Campaigns In The South

Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney was ran out of a southern McDonald's after ordering McHog Jowls and McGrits!

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Occupy Wall Street in New York running low on cash!

Ask for handouts from those who have jobs there and are working everyday.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania to skip two debt payments!

Other cities react with, "You can do that?"

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Romney Tours South

"Morning, y'all." Romney seeks acceptance in South! "How about that first Battle of Bull Run?"

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Time To "Spring Forward" One Hour

US warns citizens that it may take some effort to set their clocks ahead one hour tonight as solar flares may keep changing some back.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

"Fiji Or Drown?"

Entire Pacific nation could one day move to Fiji. "Fiji Or Bust Or Maybe Drown" signs all over island.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Guv Christie Corrects Student

Governor Chris Christie to 'Idiot' student: 'damn man, I'm governor, could you shut up for a second?' "I'm the head idiot here."

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Those Phoenix Lights

Unexplained "Phoenix Lights" explosion caught live on news broadcast! However, aliens say it was just a part of solar flares.

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Greece Hooked On Economic Stimulus?

Greece eyes 1 billion euro stimulus from EIB: PM adviser. "Better hurry up with this or it will overlap our next request for bailout."

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
Rating:

"Don't Jail Drug Pushers!"

Well known pot head and all around nice guy, Sir Richard Branson says, "Don't Jail Drug Pushers"....how else is a chap going to get his regular supply?

written by Herrdoktorfox, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Day Of Action

On Wednesday there will be a reputed 2 million people on the streets not working. In other words, what most politicians do every day!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 10 March 2012
Rating:

Lord Lucan's son speaks out: "I haven't seen dad since 1974"

"What a shame... why bother telling us now? Mmmm..."

written by Inchcock, 10 March 2012
Rating:

America Coming Back?

Obama declares that 'America is coming back'. Maybe, once you're out of office!

written by Bureau, 10 March 2012
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