Order by:
Rating:

Panetta defends cuts in military healthcare!

"Sure we can have health care for every American...except the military!"

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Honeymoon Tragedy

Three of grooms best friends crushed to death after hiding under their bed at honeymoon suite after last-minute swap with gay sumo wrestlers.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Terrorist Changes Ways

Near-Death Experience leads Muslim terrorist to change ways after a glimpse at 72 virgins. "No wonder they are still virgins", he tells press.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Just Trying to Adjust Ceremony

Many gay couples say they are upset at pastor marrying them asking "Who's on top?" at wedding ceremony.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Hi-He-He Ho-Hack! Hack! Hack!

His head was gray and his pecker bent but most people were glad to see Woody Woodpecker get that Lifetime Achievement Award at the Academy Awards Show last week.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Honeymooning Couple Upset

Honeymooning couple aboard cruise ship say they are getting a little fed up with the "Conjoined Twins" moniker they have been given.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

We Got Trouble!

Right here on Sesame Street after Big Bird frees the ostriches and emus after taking kids to the zoo.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Aardvark Arrested

Trained Aardvark arrested at zoo after placing 911 call thinking that the o'possum had died.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Davy Jones Remembered

"We were called 'The Pre-Fab Four", stated fellow ex-Monkey Michael Nesmith. "We didn't care, just as long as all those screaming girls were after us."

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Fiery US Conservative Dies

Nope. It wasn't Limbaugh. It was Andrew Breitbart. Sorry.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Gaza Marathon

Thousands of runners have taken part in the Gaza Strip's second marathon, which covered the whole length of the Palestinian territory. Gunfire in the distance apparently helped set a new record speed.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Dutch master Robben paints Wembley "Oranje"!

Tiny Holland, bristling with Dutch masters, produced a show of artistic beauty, especially Mijnheer Robben. Even when they fell asleep he created a master stroke that brushed the English away!

written by Jaggedone, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Natasha Giggs shortlisted as mum of the year

That was be a really really short list.

written by radiogagger, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Obama Investigation Almost Complete

Sheriff Joe to release "investigation" of President Obama. VP Joe Biden ready to step in at a moment's notice.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

CDC: Fatal Brain-Eating Amoebas In Nasal Washes

However, other than that, they appear to be harmless.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Obama's Uncle Due in Court On Drunk Driving Charge

GOP: Also, Obama's third cousin's husband once killed a neighbor's pet bunny rabbit.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Divide & Conquer?

Anonymous hackers claim they were infiltrated by anonymous hackers.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Who's Warn Santorum

Santorum campaign hoping for help from Gingrich. "Good luck with that", says citizens from Whoville!

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Romnedy Dives In!

Romney working to connect personally with voters, creates mosh pits in front of speaking stages.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Giant Penguin?

Scientists reconstruct long-extinct giant penguin, the Opusaurus!

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Old Flu Bug?

Study: Old flu bug speeds brain injury recovery. I'm sorry. That should be "old flu Drug".

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Fried Food Raises Stroke Risk

Fried food raises stroke risk in older women. Also in younger women, men, older men and children.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Political Missteps

Romney clarifies birth control position after misstep. Obama clarifies "My Muslim Beliefs" misstatement. Ron Paul: "What do I have to misstep to get any attention, my boot up a reporter's rear end?"

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

US judge says sorry over racist Obama email!

"Not as sorry as he's going to be after November", says Obama Press Secretary.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Hospital horror: Patient is set on fire during surgery at Scarborough Hospital

A patient has been accidentally set on fire while undergoing surgery at Scarborough Hospital.

The patient suffered burns after a skin cleaning solution used, ignited!

"Knocks yer confidence dunnit?"

written by Inchcock, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Senate heads for showdown over contraceptives!

"A few years ago, Senators would never 'conceive' such a subject", says on Conservative.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Passengers Finally Leave Stranded Cruise Ship

Head directly to attorney offices.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Many Have Given Up Hopes For a Job

Jobless claims hover near 4-year lows! "Most people have ran out of time to draw unemployment after three years", says worker.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Romney: Me too!

Obama: 'I've been on the Lin bandwagon for a while', apparently trying to carry the basketball vote in November.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Romney Sweeps Wyoming

Mitt Romney wins Wyoming caucuses! Claims that he will get at least 250 of Wyoming's 300 voters in the fall.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

J.Lo Denies Wardrobe malfunction at the Oscars.

"That was no nip slip. It was a bit of chewing gum that hadn't lost its flavor yet. It seemed a shame to waste it - I'm still Jenny from the block you know!"

written by radiogagger, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Heaven lends earth Monkee says Scotland Yard.

Returned in worse condition than what they borrowed him says God.
RIP Davy Jones.

written by radiogagger, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Heron falls victim to captive lion's hunting instinct at Amsterdam zoo!

A lioness at the Royal Artis Zoo shows that she has not lost the killer instinct when a heron landed in the lion enclosure, and she ate it!

"Well that will save a few thousand fish from being eaten!"

written by Inchcock, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Male chromosome is 'Not' doomed, say scientists

Fears that the male Y chromosome could be wiped out within five million years have been undermined by new research showing the drop in genes has stabilised.

"Oh Good!"

written by Inchcock, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Man Quits Job At Helium Balloon Plant

"I wasn't going to have people talking to me like that!" he said last night.

written by Clive Danton, 01 March 2012
Rating:

China: US Greed Ruining World Economy

China holdings of US debt at $1.15 trillion. Orders US to quit printing money or we're both broke!

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Creepy Embalmer

Colorado Police: 'Creepy' embalmer sold gold teeth from corpses. Police say Joe Burke Hare also made off with wedding rings before bodies were cremated.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

CĂ©line Dion Cancels Vegas Show due to Virus

Dion's agent, Boom Boom Geoffrion insisted it had nothing to do with the 'accidental flash' she gave fans, wearing a short dress at a recent concert in Jamaica

written by JAB, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Davy Jones Dead at 66

Monkees fans will remember him on his "Last Train to Clarksville"

written by JAB, 01 March 2012
Rating:

George Carlin Reporting!

George Carlin reported back from the next world today that they had received a new man there who worked at a Tool % Die Company, after a large tool fell on him and he died.

written by Bureau, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Nobody knows the difference between Sound Editing and Sound Mixing, study

Mad talk is taking place after this year's Oscars as to whether the Oscars for sound mixing and editing should be combined or even cut out altogether. A recent study shows that everyone's clueless.

written by Lyndon, 01 March 2012
Rating:

Man Born On Leap Day Confident That Will Get Him Laid One Day

"Hey baby, do you like 8-year-olds? Because technically . . . . . No, no that's creepy," said the man, as he continued to ponder the perfect pick-up line.

written by Gregamemnon, 01 March 2012
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