There were 1,388 spoof news snippets published in March 2012. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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Photos: NASA releases new moon pics requested by students! #2

"Kids, kids. You have to go outside more often", says NASA spokesman!

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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Stick Man Out There Somewhere

Police in Alvaton, Kentucky are looking for a stick man after police sketch artist drew him from descriptions by three kids who had been offered candy.

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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Another Chinese Food Recall

This time it's "Yan's Cream of Chicken Flu Soup"!

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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NASA releases new moon pics requested by students!

"I think they now believe that we actually did have men on the moon at one time", says teacher.

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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Sarah Palin Needs A Road Map

Quick, Sarah Palin needs a road map to find her way to the end of one of her own sentences.

written by K.C. Bell, 09 March 2012
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Another Hurting Business

A party balloon delivery service has had to change it's deliveries because of the high prices of gas. Now they are delivering them, along with flowers, by guy in lawn chain beneath helium balloons.

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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WWII-Era Bomb Discovered in France!

Old guy in nut house: "I tried to tell them! Sent me here in 1967."

written by Bureau, 18 March 2012
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Memory Competition Being Held in NYC !

Or is it Los Angeles? Las Vegas? Anyway, don't forget to arrive early!

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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New Jersey middle school bans hugging!

Any ruling yet on that "sex in the back of the room", thing?

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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"A Monumental Find!"

Historians call it a "monumental find" as black box from Wright Brothers first flight found.

written by Bureau, 19 March 2012
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Deaf Student Signs To Obama: 'I Am Proud Of You.'

Obama signs back: "Can't climb a cactus buck naked!"

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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Google may have nuclear capabilities warns Microsoft.

Software giants Microsoft yesterday accused Google of having nuclear capabilities, a spokesmen from Google laughed and said "that's rubbish" and agreed to let weapon inspectors into googles offices.

written by Glen Jacobs, 26 March 2012
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French Strike Continues

Nationwide Mime strike continues in Paris for the 22nd week as talks once again break down.

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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Do Record High Temps Mean a Scorching Summer is Ahead?

Weather experts and long range studies indicate a definite "Maybe!" Whatever would we do without the dedicated men and women?

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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Mr. Universe Credits Happiness For Long Life!

Mr. Universe 1952 turns 100, credits healthy lifestyle, happiness, 1952 misprint.

written by Bureau, 19 March 2012
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Volkswagen adding 800 jobs at Tennessee Pissant plant

I'm sorry, that should have been: Volkswagen adding 800 jobs at Tennessee Passat plant!

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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Big Delay before Toulouse Jihadist Was Killed

There was quite a delay before the Jihadist was shot dead. The gendarmerie were given extra time to find 72 virgins for him - they could only find 69 in the whole of France. The remaining 3 were substituted by goats.

written by IN SEINE, 22 March 2012
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Space probe finds a water ocean on Saturn's moon!

And get this, there's no charge for parking right up close!

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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McDonald's May Change Item's Name

Consumer group wants McDonald's to change name of McRib to McFib as there is no rib meat in them.

written by Bureau, 18 March 2012
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Starbucks now ask for your name when you order so they can write it on your cup and call it out when it's ready.

When I order my usual Latte I tell the barista my name is Mocha. Mocha Macchiato.

written by Roy Turse, 14 March 2012
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Oil Prices Fall Below $107 Per Barrel in Asia

But most drivers say that's too far to go for a fill-up.

written by Bureau, 19 March 2012
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LA City Council Considers Barring Radio Hosts From 'Racist, Sexist' Comments!

How about "Movies" guys? How about Movies? How about Stand-Up comics, etc? Just the "Radio"?

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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Law firm fires 14 employees for wearing orange shirts!

Boss: I am a loyal University of Alabama fan and will not tolerate these Tennessee Big Orange supporters. Do you see me wearing crimson & white?

written by Bureau, 20 March 2012
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Rihanna denies relationship with Ashton Kutcher

'I just visited his bachelor pad at midnight (and left at 4am) to borrow an umber-rella ella ella...'

written by radiogagger, 29 March 2012
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Home resales fall in February, inventories rise

Amazing as that my seem. Someone call Ripleys !

written by Bureau, 21 March 2012
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All Sluts are not Created Equal

Laura Ingraham is a "right - wing slut according to MSNBC's Ed Schultz." Ms. Ingraham is still waiting for President Obama's call.

written by JAB, 07 March 2012
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No Bigfoot!

Police say that the spotting of a Bigfoot yesterday near a gold course turned out to be Barry Bonds. "He's now about eight-foot tall and over 400 pounds. He's knocked his golf ball into the woods."

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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Bank of America to Offer Rentals as Foreclosure Alternative!

Many wondering: If you can't afford payment, how do you afford rent at near same price?

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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The New Space Race Begins

As the Russians plan to reach the sun first, the Irish Space Agency are going to blast off from Cape Killarney, tonight. If the temperatures get too high, the Eireonauts can roll up their sleeves.

written by IN SEINE, 04 March 2012
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GPS Tracking Disaster: Japanese Tourists Drive Straight into the Pacific!

"I tell driver, it looks deep", stated student who was riding in the back.

written by Bureau, 17 March 2012
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Learn Something New Every Day!

St. Patrick's Day turns violent in Ontario as thousands of Irish demand their own country.

written by Bureau, 18 March 2012
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Apple to decide on its $98 billion cash pile!

President Obama, all GOP candidates suddenly having photos of them using Apple products.

written by Bureau, 19 March 2012
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Man Quits Job At Helium Balloon Plant

"I wasn't going to have people talking to me like that!" he said last night.

written by Clive Danton, 01 March 2012
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Bill Maher calls Sarah Palin a 'Dumb Twat'

Separated at birth from Limbaugh.

written by JAB, 06 March 2012
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5 million pensioners robbed in budget *

Police are looking (or rather - not looking) for a posh tory boy answers to the name of Gideon.

* Daily Express headline

written by radiogagger, 22 March 2012
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Pope to Have Own Perfume

The Pope is to have his very own purfume made. Called Achtung! it will smell of cordite & incense to remind the pontiff of good old days when he manned a German anti-aircraft gun in the Hitler Youth.

written by IN SEINE, 15 March 2012
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Just wait and see what iPhone 6 contains!

REPORT: iPhone 5 to feature bigger screen, retina display, magic fingers for back, x-ray glasses attachment.

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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2 US men arrested on gay cruise in Caribbean!

Following big 'Cat Fight' after wearing the same outfits to social gathering.

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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Andre Villas-Boas: I will never quit Chelsea

Roman Abramovitch to Bruce Buck: Ok, call security.

written by radiogagger, 03 March 2012
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Teachers In Trouble Again

Surprise test at nation's middle schools show lack of teacher's keeping kids up to date as nearly 50% of students believe that al-Qaida attacked Pearl Harbor. 10% say Davy Crockett died there.

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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Hackers claim to have stolen the details of more than 73,000 subscribers to porn site Digital Playground.

The company says that due to concerns about privacy, no new members are being handled at the present time.

written by Roy Turse, 12 March 2012
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Harry Potter star Rupert Grint buys ice cream van.

Magnum! I mean magic!

written by radiogagger, 04 March 2012
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Facebook to shut down for 2 hours.

Facebook is to shut down for 2 hours to show its immense power. Facebook owners said "what the hell, we might do it the day after as well"

written by Glen Jacobs, 25 March 2012
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Bad Headline Number 95:

POLICE SEEK VANDALS FOR GRAFFITI WORK

written by IN SEINE, 17 March 2012
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Bad Headline Number 96:

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR SUICIDE PROGRAM

written by IN SEINE, 17 March 2012
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David Cameron Caught Lying in the Sun

... and The Daily Mirror, The Guardian, The Daily Mail, The Independent, The Times, Private Eye, Manchester DEvening News ...

written by IN SEINE, 08 March 2012
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Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 3

"Raising Flowers"

by

Flo Rist

written by IN SEINE, 28 March 2012
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Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 2

"Tear Up Those Sweepstake Tickets"

by

Lou Zerr

written by IN SEINE, 27 March 2012
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Come Dine with Me Not Shown Tonight

Tonight's episode of 'Come Dine with Me' on Channel 4 will not be transmitted because it featured David Cameron and his wife Sarah. "Of course, we don't do dinner parties for just anyone!" said Dave

written by IN SEINE, 26 March 2012
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Man Born On Leap Day Confident That Will Get Him Laid One Day

"Hey baby, do you like 8-year-olds? Because technically . . . . . No, no that's creepy," said the man, as he continued to ponder the perfect pick-up line.

written by Gregamemnon, 01 March 2012
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Cameron's table tennis table gift to Obama -- made in China!

President & First Lady's grill gift to Cameron...made in China.

written by Bureau, 19 March 2012
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Cameron Transparent

David Cameron is transparent. You can see right through him.

written by j.w., 28 March 2012
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Three Hour Average Before Cracking!

CD of kids learning to play the bagpipes replacing water boarding at Guantanamo.

written by Bureau, 20 March 2012
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Naked Tour de Peru causes traffic chaos!

Tour de France pro-cyclists went to Peru for naked high altitude training, it seems that it's good for hardening bums on saddles. It also caused traffic chaos because crossing llamas spat at them!

written by Jaggedone, 11 March 2012
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Copper thieves showing no favortism!

Vandals Steal Hundreds Of Feet Of Copper Piping From NJ Churches...Kentucky, Tennessee Moonshiners.

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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CNN producer third person this year to win Georgia lottery for second time!

"Something not right here - were politicians involved somewhere along the line?"

written by Inchcock, 23 March 2012
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Nastalga At National Geography

The National Geographic has agreed to do it's first naked pigmy fold-out in 30-years after calls from hundreds of 50-year-old nerds.

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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Obama campaign allows media to use 'Obamacare'!

Most respond with "After three and a half years, you just now notice?"
MSNBC: "We prefer to call it 'The Obama Blessing'."

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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Terrorist Warning Upped

Suspicious-looking truck ahead with wild-eyed driver has homemade sign, "Howl ist my Driven Hokay?"

written by Bureau, 15 March 2012
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Obama Creating Jobs: Wanted Babysitter

President Obama said he "…called Ms. Fluke because I thought about Malia and Sasha."

written by JAB, 07 March 2012
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Etch a Sketch hopes for more gaffes

Etch a Sketch welcomes more gaffes by politicians. Sales have spiked as they did when Rollo in the move Juno said, "That ain't no Etch-a-Sketch, this is one doodle that can't be undid, Homeskillet."

written by Lyndon, 22 March 2012
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New York cuts pension benefits for public workers Banks hike fees, cut costs to boost profits

Plan to fire one-third of tellers. Replace them with cash out machines similar to those at casinos.

written by Bureau, 15 March 2012
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Cops Hyped Up!

New caffeinated doughnuts give you the jitters so bad you burn up the calories from the doughnut. Some police vehicles seen going over 100 MPH while leaving doughnut shop.

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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Maybe Even Before That

World famous physicist claims that Time Travel may very well be possible in the past one-hundred years.

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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Shoe Carnival earnings down!

Now they're just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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The Unbreakable Code

New secret code is practically unbreakable says Pentagon. "We mixed Navajo with Bushisms, that one guy on 'King of the Hill' and Dylan", says CIA official.

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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Mario Balotelli spotted coming out of strip club at 2.45

Whats the problem? Game doesn't kick off till 3...

* He left club at 2.45am. Game 3pm...

written by radiogagger, 03 March 2012
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Tourists spent $38 billion in New Jersey last year

Mostly in toll money in order to get to New York City.

written by Bureau, 16 March 2012
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Every Little Helps!

In an effort to break through into the disability market, Tesco have introduced the EDIGU dog. A guide dog for dyslexic blind people. Every little helps.

written by IN SEINE, 12 March 2012
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Super Tuesday: Romney wins 6 out of 10 states.

Vladimir Putin won the other 5, but officials suspect more voting fraud.

written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
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BBC renamed part of Broadcasting House after John Peel

Called the 'Peel Wing' although 'Reel to Reel Wing' was also considered.

written by radiogagger, 04 March 2012
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Britain Accuses Martians of Fly Tipping

Home Secretary, William Hague, has accused the Martians of fly tipping after many people on England's West coast reported a UFO falling to earth in flames. The object came from the Mars direction.

written by IN SEINE, 04 March 2012
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Papers reveal Thatcher kept Reagan's drawings from summit!

"Apparently he thought he was well-endowed!" she stated at the time.

written by Bureau, 17 March 2012
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Hard Habits To Break

Indonesian eight-year-old attempting to kick smoking habit, older women.

written by Bureau, 18 March 2012
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Breast-feeding passenger settles airline lawsuit!

Claims that it wasn't her fault that she was 'gifted' and that men were lined up for bathroom during entire flight.

written by Bureau, 18 March 2012
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Obama Coming To Kentucky

President Obama said he will be going to a new factory in Kentucky where all products will have a label "Made In The USA". Of course, the product was made in China but the tags sewn on were made here.

written by Bureau, 18 March 2012
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Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 1

"The Big Flood"

by

Noah Zark

written by IN SEINE, 26 March 2012
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Afghanis: Leave Our Land!

Afghanis ask United Nations to leave their land and take their devil cellphones with them!

written by Bureau, 18 March 2012
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Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 4

"Totally Pale"

by

Al Binow

written by IN SEINE, 29 March 2012
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Clinton Dodging Publicity

New Monica Lewinsky book, "The Summer of the Hummer" got Bill Clinton rattled.

written by Bureau, 18 March 2012
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Swimsuit model accused of heading drug ring captured

Placed in police line-up with other swimsuit models.

written by Bureau, 19 March 2012
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Former President Bush Adds His Two Cents

"I'm not all that sure about any of the GOP candidates. They tell me it's between the Moron and the one from the Sanitarium".

written by Bureau, 19 March 2012
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Teachers to Be Introduced to 3Rs

It is believed that some teachers in the more deprived schools in Great Britain believe that the 3Rs are: ROBBERY, RAPE and RIOTING

written by IN SEINE, 27 March 2012
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A New Scientific Discovery

Scientists have discovered that wine will not make you fat, but it will make you lean... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.

written by IN SEINE, 09 March 2012
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Natasha Giggs shortlisted as mum of the year

That was be a really really short list.

written by radiogagger, 01 March 2012
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Census documenting Great Depression to be released!

90% were married. Sex was only thing free. Average condom used 50 times.

written by Bureau, 19 March 2012
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Egypt MP resigns 'after lying about plastic surgery'

Party leaders got suspicious when he came back looking 'extremely like Omar Shariff'

written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
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Queen Set To Manage Chelsea

The Queen wants the Chelsea job. The current manager of the Royal family feels she's taken them as far as she can and it's time for a new challenge.

written by Simon Saunders, 06 March 2012
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'DWTS' Navratilova to star in movie

In the same genre as the 1992 movie 'White Men Can't Jump", Martina
Navratilova is to star in "Gay Women Can't Dance"

written by JAB, 28 March 2012
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Is President Obama To Blame For Gas?

Who else? He's so full of you-know-what, who else? The Bucket Stops Here!

written by Bureau, 21 March 2012
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Hamburger Update

WalMart told reporters today that they have no information about an employee named "Pink Slim" or even Slim Pink.

written by Bureau, 22 March 2012
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Man arrested, barred from city bus stops for being 'annoying'!

Al Gore claims that he was only trying to warn everyone about global warming.

written by Bureau, 17 March 2012
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Investigation Into Several NCAA Teams Continues

That dark cloud you're seeing hanging over the NCAA basketball coaches is the revelation that several top college players have failed Pig Latin II, yet continue to be allowed to play.

written by Bureau, 17 March 2012
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Republican Contest Is 'a Clown Show,' Obama Adviser Says

According to Obama advisor, Ronald McDonald , "Mitt and Rick are just two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun."

written by JAB, 25 March 2012
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Blonde, Top-Heavy Secretary Late Again!

Boss: "Listen close, Bamba, this is the last 57th time I'm going to tell you...."

written by Bureau, 18 March 2012
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Saints' head coach Payton suspended for season by NFL for bounties!

He'll have to sit in the locker room and flash orders to assistant coach!

written by Bureau, 21 March 2012
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I Demand A Rematch!

Drunk in Montgomery, Alabama still blaming "Yankees and General Grant" for all his problems.

written by Bureau, 19 March 2012
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Bilbao 2-United 0, they're sinking fast!

Man United have got caught up in a Biscayan storm and are sinking without trace, let's hope the Wolves don't ravage them on Sunday too!

written by Jaggedone, 15 March 2012
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Inconvenient Photo Taken at Exxon Gas Station Just Outside White House

$5.39 Per Gallon! Probably with that? Take it up with the guy down the street!

written by Bureau, 15 March 2012
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American surgeons perform fullness face transplant yet

A victim of a gun accident has received the most complete face transplant to date. Surgeons have even allowed him to pick his nose.

written by IN SEINE, 27 March 2012
« Feb 2012 March 2012 Apr 2012 »
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10th
42
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