Order by:
Rating:

Torvill and Dean tragedy

Torvill and Dean are missing after an Olympic torch incident.
They disappeared after skating on to the Rochdale Canal expecting 6 inches of solid ice.
After all, remarked onlookers, it is only June!

written by Blazing Saddle, 29 June 2012
Rating:

Angela Merkel is the new "Bundestrainer"!

Angela Merkel has sacked loser Löw and taken over his job. Her first task is to persuade Balotelli to don a pair of Lederhosen, become German and show "Die Mannschaft" what real men are made of!

written by Jaggedone, 29 June 2012
Rating:

Country renaming continues

After the most accurate measurements yet of continental drift, which shows the Eurasian plate moving slower than previously thought, Russia will now be known as Dawdler.

written by IainB, 29 June 2012
Rating:

Britain's top model winner announced

Britain's version of American beauty show, America's Top Model, has now been won. An 18th scale Spitfire beat off stiff competition.

written by IainB, 29 June 2012
Rating:

Sun Poll: Shoppers can't remember their last UK-made purchase

Apart from food, I can't remember my last purchase at all!

I know Harold Wilson was in power at the time!

written by Inchcock, 29 June 2012
Rating:

Man uses slingshot to fire marbles at speed camera

50-year-old Bruce Lawrence May of Ellicott City was arrested and charged with assault for using a slingshot to fire glass marbles at a speed camera van.

"Lost his marbles when caught speeding?"

written by Inchcock, 29 June 2012
Rating:

Doctors urged GPs to ditch pensions strike

David Cameron insists reform would still leave GPs with pensions most private sector workers 'can only dream of'.

"A bit like his pension then?"

written by Inchcock, 29 June 2012
Rating:

MP's want free hot-meals!

After complaining of mice and 'weird' menus in the Commons.

"Some pensioners, unemployed, and sick citizens can't afford hot meals at all!"

written by Inchcock, 29 June 2012
Rating:

Cameron's Benefit Blitz!

Youngsters will be forced to live with their parents!

"What in prison, squats, or fire-bombed police stations?"

written by Inchcock, 29 June 2012
Rating:

Blitzer decides to report news before it happens

CNN's Wolf Blitzer, tired of racing against other news outlets to report breaking news first, has decided to just start making up shit and reporting it. His new show will be called, "This just in."

written by Lyndon, 29 June 2012
Rating:

Games are off

The London Olympic Games have been cancelled following the revelation that Mayor Boris Johnson insisted on opening the games himself instead of HM Queen Elizabeth. BORIS YOU'RE SUCH A BOOFY BOOFHEAD

written by whatinthe world, 29 June 2012
Rating:

David Beckham could still compete at Olympics

Old "Golden Balls" is considering an offer to be part of GB's syncronised swimming team.

According to an insider he is training hard and has already ditched his armbands

written by Simon Saunders, 29 June 2012
Rating:

Buckingham Palace to be renamed Queen's Crib

For the second time in less than a week, Parliament announced that yet another iconic structure would be renamed in honor of Q.E. II. Queen's Crib will still feature the changing of the lads.

written by Lyndon, 29 June 2012
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