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Why Prince William will never be Prince of Wales

Charles has told his son, William, he will never be Prince of Wales, because the natives cannot pronounce his name. "They pronounce it Wiccccchhhhhhllllllm," said Charles.

written by IainB, 28 June 2012
Rating:

Barclay's Bank CEO to pay FSA fine out of his own pocket

Bob Diamond will stump up the whole £290 million himself.

He's a little bit short of the full amount but intends to sell his surname to cover the rest.

He'll now be known as just Bob.

written by Simon Saunders, 28 June 2012
Rating:

Barclay's Bob is not a diamond geezer

Barclay's CEO, Bob "100 Carat" Diamond, is facing calls to quit after his bank was caught trying to fiddle inter-bank interest rates.

Poor fella gave up his bonus as well.

Whip round anyone?

written by Simon Saunders, 28 June 2012
Rating:

CRB Checks Tightened To Protect Vulnerable

'In addition to criminal records,' said a Criminal Records Bureau spokesman, 'future checks will disclose if a person has been a banker. Clearly, such people must not be placed in positions of trust.'

written by Swan Morrison, 28 June 2012
Rating:

Tony Blair keen on being Prime Minister again but acknowledges it's unlikely

Mr Blair is rumoured to have met with Peter Mandelson and Alistair (You Spin Me Right Round Baby) Campbell to discuss returning.

They plan on rebranding the party as Even Newer Old New Labour.

written by Simon Saunders, 28 June 2012
Rating:

Fly Tipping Causes Wimbledon Chaos

Tennis matches at Wimbledon could be delayed because there has been a spate of fly tipping in the No. 1 court. The Wombles have been called out but say that it may take some time to clear it up.

written by IN SEINE, 28 June 2012
Rating:

Beans on toast is UK's 4th favourite home-meal

Well, amongst the made-redundant benefit claimants, pensioners and Big Issue sellers anyway!

written by Inchcock, 28 June 2012
Rating:

24.06.12: UK Voting Intentions

Labour 41%
Conservative 33%
UKIP 9%
Lib Dem 8%
Others 8%

"Comments welcomed from Nick Clegg?"

written by Inchcock, 28 June 2012
Rating:

Toxic Substance Reported

EPA has banned animal rights groups, endangered species organizations & rabid environmentalists. The ban is due to some cities & towns now having animal manure that reaches up to second floor windows!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2012
Rating:

Separation of Powers

The people of Boston MA have reminded King Obama I that US citizens have lived for 236 years abiding by the US Constitution, which specifies three branches of government!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2012
Rating:

Desperate Political Panderer in Chief

The Obama/Biden 2012 website has an event registry for people with an upcoming birthday, wedding or anniversary to solicit their guests to support Obama by sending a donation in lieu of any gift.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2012
Rating:

NYC Mayor Bloomberg Gets Tough

The Rev. Al Sharpton will lead a protest in NYC against a US House vote citing AG Holder for contempt of Congress. Anyone found marching naked with a 32 ounce sugary soft drink will be arrested!





written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2012
Rating:

What if No Democrats Came

The DCCC chairman overseeing getting Democrats elected to the House urges his party's candidates to steer clear of the convention in Charlotte NC. Pres. Obama plans to bring his Karaoke equipment!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2012
Rating:

More Democratic Left Wing Newspeak

LONE RANGER: African American church leaders & reporters shilling for Pres. Obama deemed non-racist. TONTO: States requiring ID's to prevent dead people & illegal immigrants from voting deemed racist!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2012
Rating:

No Experience Required

Suburban housewife makes $500 per hour working from home using her natural talents. Call 1-800-SEX-6969 for an interview

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2012
Rating:

Pizza with Locusts Please

Entomologists say the world food crisis can be solved by eating insects such as ants and grasshoppers. People for the Ethical Treatment of Insects (PETI) and Vegans are bugged by the statement!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2012
Rating:

Excessive Demands

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad indicated Iran would suspend enriching uranium if Britain, France, Russia, China, the United States and Germany provided them 72,000 virgins!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2012
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