Why Prince William will never be Prince of Wales
Charles has told his son, William, he will never be Prince of Wales, because the natives cannot pronounce his name. "They pronounce it Wiccccchhhhhhllllllm," said Charles.
written by IainB
, 28 June 2012
Barclay's Bank CEO to pay FSA fine out of his own pocket
Bob Diamond will stump up the whole £290 million himself.
He's a little bit short of the full amount but intends to sell his surname to cover the rest.
He'll now be known as just Bob.
Barclay's Bob is not a diamond geezer
Barclay's CEO, Bob "100 Carat" Diamond, is facing calls to quit after his bank was caught trying to fiddle inter-bank interest rates.
Poor fella gave up his bonus as well.
Whip round anyone?
CRB Checks Tightened To Protect Vulnerable
'In addition to criminal records,' said a Criminal Records Bureau spokesman, 'future checks will disclose if a person has been a banker. Clearly, such people must not be placed in positions of trust.'
Tony Blair keen on being Prime Minister again but acknowledges it's unlikely
Mr Blair is rumoured to have met with Peter Mandelson and Alistair (You Spin Me Right Round Baby) Campbell to discuss returning.
They plan on rebranding the party as Even Newer Old New Labour.
Fly Tipping Causes Wimbledon Chaos
Tennis matches at Wimbledon could be delayed because there has been a spate of fly tipping in the No. 1 court. The Wombles have been called out but say that it may take some time to clear it up.
Beans on toast is UK's 4th favourite home-meal
Well, amongst the made-redundant benefit claimants, pensioners and Big Issue sellers anyway!
24.06.12: UK Voting Intentions
Lib Dem 8%
"Comments welcomed from Nick Clegg?"
Toxic Substance Reported
EPA has banned animal rights groups, endangered species organizations & rabid environmentalists. The ban is due to some cities & towns now having animal manure that reaches up to second floor windows!
Separation of Powers
The people of Boston MA have reminded King Obama I that US citizens have lived for 236 years abiding by the US Constitution, which specifies three branches of government!
Desperate Political Panderer in Chief
The Obama/Biden 2012 website has an event registry for people with an upcoming birthday, wedding or anniversary to solicit their guests to support Obama by sending a donation in lieu of any gift.
NYC Mayor Bloomberg Gets Tough
The Rev. Al Sharpton will lead a protest in NYC against a US House vote citing AG Holder for contempt of Congress. Anyone found marching naked with a 32 ounce sugary soft drink will be arrested!
What if No Democrats Came
The DCCC chairman overseeing getting Democrats elected to the House urges his party's candidates to steer clear of the convention in Charlotte NC. Pres. Obama plans to bring his Karaoke equipment!
More Democratic Left Wing Newspeak
LONE RANGER: African American church leaders & reporters shilling for Pres. Obama deemed non-racist. TONTO: States requiring ID's to prevent dead people & illegal immigrants from voting deemed racist!
No Experience Required
Suburban housewife makes $500 per hour working from home using her natural talents. Call 1-800-SEX-6969 for an interview
Pizza with Locusts Please
Entomologists say the world food crisis can be solved by eating insects such as ants and grasshoppers. People for the Ethical Treatment of Insects (PETI) and Vegans are bugged by the statement!
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad indicated Iran would suspend enriching uranium if Britain, France, Russia, China, the United States and Germany provided them 72,000 virgins!