Foreign Aid - New definition accepted globally
Foreign aid is the transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries
Stephen Hawking Loses $100 Bet
Prof Stephen Hawking has lost a $100 bet that the Higgs boson particle could not be found. However there is room for error because scientists are only 99.9% sure that it exists. Ask for your money back Steve!
The classic English dessert has been renamed to avoid embarrassment. The pud has been given the title Spotted Richard, after Hounslow Council bosses feared the original name might cause offence.
Slimming Programme to Be Introduced
Channel 4 are to show a documentary of obese people filling their faces with all kinds of junk food. The idea is to put large people off the idea of eating. It will be called "Wait! Watch Us"
Robin Van Persie statement to Arsenal fans.
"Its not about the money, money, money. I wanna win a trophy, trophy, trophy, even a Carling Cup, might cheer me up"
Robin Van Persie to refuse new contract at Arsenal.
Rumour is he wants to join the Scottish Premier League to replace Rangers. Apparently he is a one man team.
Nick Clegg compares being in government to being 'gradually lobotomised'
Well that explains partnering with the Tories in 2010.
Higgs Boson discovered in outside bog in Nottingham!
After severe anal combustion, a swimming Higgs Boson appeared in the outside bog of an Indian curry eating gentleman in Nottingham. Yet again India leads the way in things that "matter"; ask Gandhi!
Bendtner Fine (monetary)
Denmark's Nicklas Bendtner was fined £65,000 for exposing a logo which was not one of UEFA's official sponsors whilst celebrating. Mass murderer Anders Breivik has condemned his actions.
Drug Cheats/Addicts selected for Team GB
After Dwain Chambers and David Millar's admissions to Team GB the British Olympic Association have now selected Pete Doherty. He will compete in the 1000m steeplechase(the dragon).
God Particle May Been Found
It costs just £2.6 billion to discover the God particle. Now that it's been found, the scientists may be able to spend more time and money on discovering the elusive Lord Lucan.
74-year-old policeman nears retirement
Sgt. Maj. Arnold McGinnis said he's preparing to retire as an officer after nearly 50 years on the job.
He joined the department at the age of 25 in 1962.
"Well done, and all the best to you Sir!"
VAT now on 5-a-side football!
Thousands who use all-weather pitches for games were told to stump up the a new £1 per player Tax on the sport
"The pasties revenge?"
The World will end on December 21, 2012
According to an inscription in a staircase found by archaeologists, the world will end on December 21, 2012.
"That'll spoil Christmas a bit!"
Lady of the Lake
I myself may continue writing on Spoof in my Metrical Romance with the Lady of the Lake and as King Author my Skilcraft pen will be mightier than the sword write Merlin ?
Tom Cruise looks for wife number 4 ?
That will be like a " Legend," in his own mind? When the devil stole his girl like he did Adam in the garden of Eden ?