Killers and Rapists Could Be Released Early As Parole Is Watered down
This is due to human rights issues and is really to make room for Christians who are quickly losing their human rights!
Texting Fosters Bad Spelling and Grammar
Quayle and Romney kindred spirits
When former VP Dan Quayle claimed his high school Latin didn't help while in Panama, we thought that was rock bottom. Enter Mitt Romney: this week he claimed the British couldn't even speak English.
written by Lyndon
, 27 July 2012
Mysterious Monster Washes up on New York Beach
The carcass of a mysterious animal has been found washed up on the beach of a New York river. Various conspiracy theories believe it to be a pig or a dog and even some belief that it is Cherie Blair.
No Peas for the Wicked!!!
God is giving the UK a clear message on how evil it has become. The most obvious one is that the pea harvest has failed. "There will be NO PEAS until you behave yourself" says a local prophet of doom.
Octomon Slated to Star in "Eight Is Enough" Movie
Octomom has agreed to star in a movie "remake" of the popular American television comedy-drama series. Octomom released the following statement to the press: "Eight is Enough! Beleive me, I know."
Cockneys boycott Olympic Games!
True Cockneys are boycotting the Olympics because there are no signs erected in their language. Posh nob, Seb Coe, refused to accept Cockney as a language so he can "Shut is fucking norf and souf!"
Man with massive penis arrested at airport
A man triggered airport security after he was spotted walking with a massive penis. The suspect was later released and was named as Chelsea manager Roberto Di Matteo accompanied by John Terry.
Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 107
Getting Ready for Vacation"
23 July 2012: UK Voting Intentions Poll
Labour 41% - Con 35% - LibDem 10% - Other 14%
Conservatives And Lib Dems UP 2%! What the heck?
MOD have lined their offices with £150,000 of fine art - while sacking 1000's of troops to save cash!
They were picked by Defence Secretary Philip Hammond.
"God I hate the nepotistic shower of Coalition Ministers!"
Vic Mizzy allegedly tapped for vacant Steven Tyler slot on American Idol.
Call a Plumber
WH Press Secretary Carney announced that Republican Joe the Plumber has been hired by the Senate Intelligence Committee to find the national security leaks emanating from the White House!
Pole Tax Okayed
US Attorney General Eric Holder made a speech indicating he supports a pole tax for all strip club and lap dancers!
President has the Advantage
Democratic President Obama flies to London to challenge Republican presidential candidate Romney to an Olympic cow chip throwing contest (throwing the bull)!
President Obama became a Democratic liberal big spending politician because as a failed apprentice carpenter he always used tax instead of nails!
Free Breakfast Included
The Savoy Ritz theme-danger hotel opened in Baghdad Iraq for civilian thrill seekers. While the hotel can't guarantee it, car bombs and rocket propelled grenade explosions are available!
Didn't Pass the Smell Test
Employee fired for smelling in the workplace sues the EPA. The EPA environmentalists said save water, so the individual bathed in his own urine to comply!
A Senate committee is investigating whether the EPA caused the water shortage in mid-western states by requiring wetting down farm roads to control dust, leaving no water for corn and other crops!
It's the First Amendment Stupid
ACLU & conservative lawyers' indicate Boston & Chicago mayors stepped in the chicken s**t trying to prevent Chick-Fil-A from opening restaurants because the company believes in traditional marriage!
Disrupters in Tampa Florida
LONE RANGER: Occupy protesters claim their free speech rights will be restricted outside the Republican Convention. TONTO: Yet these protesters are for restricting conventioneer's free speech rights!
LONE RANGER: What burns your arse about the Obama administration? TONTO: They're all flaming liberals!
If you or a loved one had an artificial penal implant you might be entitled to compensation due to sagging. Call the Law Offices of Schmuck & Schmuck at 800-BIG-DICK for a free consultation!
Outsourcing a Job
Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney indicated that he wants to outsource Democratic President Obama to Chicago IL next year!