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New Olympic sport announced

Just two days before the Olympic Games begin, a new sport has been added to the event - Moaning.

Britain is sure to get gold, as famous whinging Londoner Mona Lott will moan about the Olympics.

written by CaptainSausage, 25 July 2012
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New Government toll plan: motorists to pay for upgraded roads

"I should think so too! Just 'cause they pay more fuel tax than any other country, and insurance and road tax, they are getting spoilt you know!

"Damn the motorists, hang um, shoot um!"

written by Inchcock, 25 July 2012
Rating:

Aurora Borealis

Quick get you gun with a long bore to use at dawn before sanity prevails

written by j.w., 25 July 2012
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Rush Hour

The slowest I have ever known!

written by j.w., 25 July 2012
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My Broker

If he invests people's money - bit ominous that he is called a Broker

written by j.w., 25 July 2012
Rating:

My Doctor Worries Me

He says he has a Practise and he wants to see me!

written by j.w., 25 July 2012
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Abbreviated

Why is it such a long word?

written by j.w., 25 July 2012
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Jesus Loves You!

OK in a Church, maybe but bad news in a Mexican Prison.

written by j.w., 25 July 2012
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Private Eye

I've employed this Alligator in a vest to help me - he's called the Investigator!

written by j.w., 25 July 2012
Rating:

Gay Gordon can legally marry his male partner in Scotland!

Gay Gordon is preparing for his wedding in Scotland; guess what the happy pair will be wearing? You guessed it; "pink tartan kilts!"

written by Jaggedone, 25 July 2012
Rating:

London bus workers win a £577 Olympic bonus!

London's 28,000 bus drivers have won a £577 Olympic bonus, whether or not they their route is anywhere near a Games venue.

"What about the Big Issues sellers bonus?"

written by Inchcock, 25 July 2012
Rating:

David Cameron doesn't 'see a time' when austerity programme will end!

"Bless the nepotistic, wealthy, spoon-in-the-mouth, arrogant, git!"

written by Inchcock, 25 July 2012
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