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Summer is set to be with us by the end of the week!

Wed 18th July 2012: Downpours are expected to be largely gone by the end of the week, paving the way for some much-anticipated UK summer sun.

"Good!"

written by Inchcock, 18 July 2012
Rating:

17 July 2012: UK Voting Intention Poll

Labour 44%
Conservative 33%
UKIP 8%
Lib Dem 8%
Others 7%

"Clang goes Clegg!"

written by Inchcock, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Government To Reintroduce Conscription To Fill Stadiums For Olympic Football Tournament

'We can't give the tickets away,' admitted Seb Coe to reporters. 'Emergency legislation is being prepared to compel all UK citizens to attend at least one game.'

written by Swan Morrison, 18 July 2012
Rating:

£10 million anonymously donated to the University of Southampton for cancer research

'We will track down the culprit,' vowed George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, 'and review his tax returns with a fine toothed comb. Hopefully, he will be prosecuted and imprisoned.'

written by Swan Morrison, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Syria's athletes run gauntlet of violence, civil unrest and fear......

......that said they are enjoying other aspects of East London.

written by HaveIGotNewsForYou, 18 July 2012
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Madonna 'I love you Poland' joke falls flat at Hyde Park concert

Looks like she'll be asking me for her money back on that one.

written by radiogagger, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Fabio Capello named as Russia's new manager!

"The fools!"

written by Inchcock, 18 July 2012
Rating:

More About a Needed Change

The RNC Chairman announced that if Debbie Wasserman Shultz (D-FL) leaves the Democratic Party she is welcome to become a Republican, but must take a vow of silence!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Liberal Arts Studies

The Obama administration can't seem to deal with the USA's economic, unemployment and energy problems. That's why government scientists are studying mermaids, bellybutton lint and algae!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Great Hoaxes of the 21st Century

Rolling Stones Mick Jagger: I have slept with 4000 women! President Barack Obama: The US economy and job creation are improving!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Center for Disease Control Alert

CDC is warning uninfected states about any influx of liberals that may cause a rash of overspending, taxation, regulations & bankruptcies as has occurred in some eastern states & California cities!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Hot to Trot

Rabid environmentalists link increasing birth rates to climate change. They claim increased hot spells cause people to take their clothes off more frequently!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Bureaucrats Don't Know Best

Pres. Obama's fiscal policy is to raise taxes on people earning over $250,000 then gradually reduce it to earning over $50,000 so the Democratic far left can squander American's tax money foolishly!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Bad Economic News

The US economy has gotten so bad that prostitutes in Washington DC are accepting supermarket coupons!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Darn that Arithmetic Again

President Obama says the government needs the money generated by taxing people who earn more than $250,000 to reduce the deficit. All 10 day's worth of Obama's deficit spending!!!!!!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Interesting Labor Statistic

The US unemployment rate of 9% will temporarily increase to 9.003% on January 21, 2013 when President Obama and his administration appointees leave Washington DC to go home!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

US Tax Dollars at Work

LONE RANGER: How f**ked up is the UN? TONTO: The UN asks Iran to participate in a conference on the illegal transfer of conventional weapons and Syria is politicking to be on the Human Rights Council!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Taxpayer, Taxpayer, Taxpayer

An Obama advisor said that by not eliminating the Bush tax cuts for people earning over $250,000 you're taking away the government's money. The government's money!!!!!!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

VP Joe in Fantasyland

VP Biden believes that government spending has achieved all the good things for the US. In this time of economic deficits he wants to spend more & will take $800 billion from his own checking account!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Democrats with no Talent

The Obama administration has provided its political advisors/spokesmen with the books "How to Lie With Statistics" and "Tap Dancing for Amateurs." Just watch the Sunday talk shows!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Obamanomics in Action

Baltimore MD to close three fire houses because of lack of funds, but the Democratic mayor gives the fire chief a raise in salary, buys an $800,000 phone system and institutes a 5 cent bottle tax!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Screwed Up Country

Abdus Salam, Pakistan's only Nobel laureate, helped lead to the apparent discovery of the subatomic "God particle." The late physicist is no hero in Pakistan because he was the wrong type of Muslim!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Predictability

When the ruling Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt can't solve unemployment, has no money and takes away people's civil liberties (Muslims, women, minorities) the regime will start a war with Israel!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Class Warfare

Pres. Obama asks Congress to raise taxes on people earning over $250,000 per year because we can't afford not to, as I need to blow more money. How about asking the 47% who pay no taxes to pony up?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Obama to Raise Taxes on the Rich

President Obama's most adamant liberal supporters are Hollywood personalities. Yet, Hollywood personalities are renouncing their US citizenship because taxes are too high. GOP rejoices!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Mistranslation

A Latin translation error has been found in a Roman religious document. The famed Vestal Virgins were actually the Vestal Vegans, although they certainly could have also been virgins!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
Rating:

Vive La USA

There's a lawsuit to strike down a CA law banning the sale of foie gras, the traditional French dish made from goose/duck livers. The plaintiffs want to shove the law down the CA food police's throat!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 July 2012
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