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Rating:

Dubai to lower Drinks Allowance

The Arab country of Dubai give westerners a drinks allowance. However, this is to be lowered from March when it turned out that not even Paul Gascoigne could drink his allowance.

written by IainB, 03 February 2012
Rating:

Food Pushers asked to move on

Police have asked Food Pushers who stand outside Weight Watchers meetings selling hotdogs and pies have been asked to stop by police. "It's not illegal," the police said. "But it is naughty."

written by IainB, 03 February 2012
Rating:

John Terry stripped of England captaincy

That was one hell of a stagnight.

written by radiogagger, 03 February 2012
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Top Totty beer banned from Parliament bar

Banning the politicians might be a better move...

written by radiogagger, 03 February 2012
Rating:

Energy Secretary resigns over speeding cover-up allegations

Does being energy secretary involve drinking lots of red bull?
Perhaps that's what made him speed??

written by radiogagger, 03 February 2012
Rating:

Reuters staff vote for first strike in 25 years

You'll have to rely on twitter and the spoof for your made up news that day

written by radiogagger, 03 February 2012
Rating:

MI6 place advert for new staff

Well that's my excuse for buying the sun and i'm sticking to it.

written by radiogagger, 03 February 2012
Rating:

Classic Sun front page headline

'I slept with 1,000 men - but i used to be a man myself'

I feel so silly - how did i not notice? Especially the second time.

written by radiogagger, 03 February 2012
Rating:

Sun editor to be questioned by Leveson over Page 3 girls.

"You prefer real or plastic?"

written by radiogagger, 03 February 2012
Rating:

130 million tweets a day are not worth reading say researchers

Mentioning no names Katie Price, Natasha Giggs, Imogen Thomas, cast of TOWIE etc etc etc

written by radiogagger, 03 February 2012
Rating:

Italy sues Germany for losing WW2

"Hitler failed to keep his promise to give us North America when he ruled the world. All we have is New York and Las Vegas." said attorney preparing class action on behalf of every citizan.

written by Exislanda, 03 February 2012
Rating:

CNN declares war on Eyeran.

Unrelated statements from us, Isreal? and Eyeran have been cut & pasted.
According to CNN, Isreal? will hit Eyeran next week and Eyeran will quickly retaliate against us!
Solidad's job is secure!

written by Exislanda, 03 February 2012
Rating:

If I ruled the World - Romney and Facebook?

MITM is reportedly buying out Facebook shares in his bid to be President of the World.
With over 600,000,000 members (all prone to gaffs & contextural errors in their posts) is he on a winner?

written by Exislanda, 03 February 2012
Rating:

Covert French Operation innit?

Legionnaires kill three Britons in Spain...were they spies or are these rogue French Foreign Legion operatives?

written by Herrdoktorfox, 03 February 2012
Rating:

Saturday 3rd Feb: Four inches of snow to fall across Britain

There's a white weekend in store! Four inches of snow to fall across Britain tomorrow as the temperatures plummet to -12c!

"Shit!"

written by Inchcock, 03 February 2012
Rating:

The New Ford Fiesta Econetic

The Times: Can you drive the Fiesta Econetic to match claimed of 78mpg on the Combined cycle then you're a better man than me. I got 55mpg on a mixed driving.

Mind you it costs only £10,985 to buy!

written by Inchcock, 03 February 2012
Rating:

Hash point machines to be installed in Amsterdam.

Hash point machines were customers are given a hash point card to withdraw hash are to be installed in Amsterdam high streets, but some users fear they could go overdrawn.

written by Glen Jacobs, 03 February 2012
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