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Rating:

Prof Richard Dawkins Is No Longer an Atheist

Professor Richard Dawkins admits that he is an agnostic. He is already teetering on the edge of believing and will before you know it become a Christian. It's that .1% which has got to him.

written by IN SEINE, 23 February 2012
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Richard Branson buys porn website!

Well he actually won control of the website richardbranson.xxx which was being used as a porn website but i liked the headline!

written by radiogagger, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Obama Got The Blues

Obama joins Jagger, B.B. King, to belt out blues. "I got those old under 50% pre-election blues...down in my shoes!"

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
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Sometimes Ate Breakfast 3 Times A Day

Tennessee farmer caught with marijuana hid in sausage admits that, for years, he has lived high on the hog.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Glasgow Rangers tax bill may be 'more than £9 million'

Chairman Craig Whyte has offered to pay it off at 5 bob a week.
HMRC are considering the offer.
More as we get it (I think Whyte also offered HMRC that)

written by radiogagger, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Europa League: Valencia 1 Stoke 0

Kenwyne Jones, who missed two fantastic chances, has not scored since the beginning of December. Just in case your trying to keep up with the Joneses...

written by radiogagger, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Nancy Dell'Olio named as candidate for England job

Bookies have named Nancy Dell'Olio as an outside chance of becoming England Manager. Whilst no one can doubt her fancy footwork, her man management skills have been called in to question.

written by I think I'm funny..., 23 February 2012
Rating:

Arsene Wenger at his lowest point says Emmanel Petit

I suppose Petit is an expert at 'low' points...

written by radiogagger, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Hospital Scene Hectic

Shooting at Connecticut hospital leaves 2 injured, 1 arrested, several moonings by fleeing patients.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
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Mardi Gras Lists Needed

New Orleans revels in Mardi Gras celebrations. Told to write them down so they can repent later.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Hit Man Hits Cat

Feds: Activist sought hit man to kill fur-wearer, mistakenly shots the cat.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

One Pastor Leads Ten Churches By Using Big Screen

Church offers drive-thru for Ash Wednesday, baptisms at car wash.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Labour MP Eric Joyce Suspended From Party Over Assault Allegations In A House Of Commons Bar

'Mr Joyce remains MP for Falkirk, but cannot take the Labour whip until the police investigation ends,' said a Labour Party spokesman. 'We are worried about who he might hit with it.'

written by Swan Morrison, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Disappointment Expressed At eHarmony Dating Site

'I wanted the really sexy one on the TV advert,' said Reg from Southampton. 'When I logged on to eHarmony, she'd already been taken.'

written by Swan Morrison, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Should Haqve Been In Show Biz!

Surgeon puts on quite a show for those in Observation Deck. "Now watch what he does when touch this part of the brain!"

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

I Smelled Just Like Him When We Landed!

Boeing insists 787 Dreamliner jets are safe to fly despite claims about finding flaws in the fuselage, wings, landing gear and sweaty slobs overspilling small seats.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Watch What You Wear

Lose doberman attacks man's fluffy Bullwinkle house slippers when he goes out door to pick up newspaper.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Those Wally World Shoppers

Woman at Wally World wearing bra & panties claims that she needed bathroom tissue and always like to try some out before purchase.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Game Is Different

Casino version of TV Game Show, Price Is Right, had girls showing both stuff and their own stuff. Distracted male bids $10 for new car.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Shoe Thrown At Pastor?

In Townsend, Tennessee a preacher had to dodge a shoe thrown from the third row back. A member of the congregation hastily stood up & told everyone that he had tried to swat a wasp with it & missed.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Occupy Beijing's Men's Toilets: Lone Woman Protests

A woman in Beijing has barricaded herself in the men's cubicles after catching diarrhoea. The public have been warned that they could be inconvenienced for up to a week.

written by IN SEINE, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Xtina's Experimental Concept Album Rejected by Record Company

It's called "I Used To Be Hot / My Face Looks Bloated / Like Newt Gingrich's A--hole / I Leak V8 Splash on TV".

written by anthonyrosania, 23 February 2012
Rating:

US Could Be In A Quackmire!

Sarah Palin said yesterday that the US could soon be in a quackmire in Syria. Meanwhile Palin still has the support of over 95% of stand-up comics everywhere.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Christie Agrees With Obama

Gov. Christie: I'm with Obama on gay marriage. That is, should he and Michelle ever divorce.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Guess He's #8

Gropey the Dwarf arrested for the second time at Disney World!

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Arab world in turmoil because of Jewish comparison!

Kabul: Imbecilic US GI's burnt copies of the Koran and now the Arab world is in flames, but not because of the burnt copies. No, they are most upset because CNN compared them to Kristallnacht Jews!

written by Jaggedone, 23 February 2012
Rating:

In The News Today...

Frank Carson dead. Marie Colvin killed.
Cherie Blair stil alive.

written by radiogagger, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Crappy Hamburger?

Scientists say world's first test-tube meat, a hamburger made from cow stem cells, will be ready later this year. But most people still remember news article on meat made from crap late last year.


written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Iran Talks Failure Sparks Confrontation Fears!

This is a record 39th time for this same headline. You heard record report here on The Spoof first.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Something Wrong With This Guy

US, NKorea to hold first post-Kim Jong Il talks. New leader to watch and clap hands while smiling.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Rare Pink Diamond Discovered

Huge rare pink diamond found in Australia. Inspector Clouseau sent immediately to the area.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Already Condemned?

U.S. judge orders Moroccan held for Capitol plot...while others say he should be buried elsewhere.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Latest On Gasoline Curse

Analysis: Can U.S. economy withstand gasoline price curse? Both GOP and Democrats ask old gypsy woman to remove it. Threaten to take away her food stamps, boycott Hungary.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Romney On The Rise

POLL: Romney's favorability among Republicans on upswing. Somehow still doesn't appeal to Democrats.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Obama Slammed

Oil and gas leaders slam Obama. Taken away by his personal bodyguards.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

90% Of Occupiers Pay Nothing

HALF of Americans don't pay income tax despite crippling gov't debt. I guess this is the 50%.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

GOP Debat A Zinger

Mitt To Rick: 'Four years ago, you endorsed me... said really conservative, can trust him' Rick to Mitt: That was before you called me, 'Iron Ass!'

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

The Great Debate

GOP debate No. 20 turns bitter, personal...as some jumped up and down screaming, others put fingers in their ears and made 'Naaaa!' type noises.

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Corrie Actress Helen Flanagan vows to cover up her boobs.

Shame, i really enjoyed her 'Out Out show'. Or was that Micky Flanagan the comedian?

written by radiogagger, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Deputy PM Nick Clegg reveals £1bn jobs fund boost

None of it will go towards bankers bonuses.

written by radiogagger, 23 February 2012
Rating:

'MP' arrested after House of Commons disturbance

One down, 649 to go.

written by radiogagger, 23 February 2012
Rating:

M25 coach tour adds extra dates due to 'huge public demand'

I think I'll wait for the DVD.

written by radiogagger, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Patient dies waiting to get Doctors surgery appointment!

A 65-year-old Nottingham gentleman has died while the seven day wait to keep his doctor's appointment.

"Nobody was bothered!"

written by Inchcock, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Wayne Rooney to miss Ajax game!

Rooney will miss Manchester United's Europa League clash with Ajax tomorrow after picking up a throat infection.

"I suppose he denied picking it up from high-class prostitute Helen Woods?"

written by Inchcock, 23 February 2012
Rating:

John Prescott: Show your own grit Miliband!

In a rare moment of sobriety, John Prescott sparked a new row over Ed Miliband's leadership after telling him to "put your bloody jacket back on" and "show your own grit".

written by Inchcock, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Lord Prescott has thrown his hat in the ring for the role of Humberside Police Commissioner!

His manifesto is yet to be determined but it is believed he will propose a zero tolerance policing, with 10-year sentences for anyone caught throwing eggs.

written by Inchcock, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Britain faces a hosepipe ban this summer!

Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman: Britain faces a hosepipe ban this summer.

Like every summer innit?

written by Inchcock, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Kentucky's Blue People

When asked why so many "Blue people of Kentucky" inter-married, most stated that "Who else wood marry a bloo person, you idjet?"

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Paris Hilton Wins $30K in Vegas

Well, that should just about make everyone's day! If she won it at Ballys, it was probably mine!

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

Mickey D's New Sandwich

McDonald's introduces it's new big chicken breast, the McGuffies!

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
Rating:

AKA Baby Boomers

"The Greatest Generation" apparently followed by "The Fair To Middlin' Generation"

written by Bureau, 23 February 2012
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