In a tribute to the passing of Whitney Houston, spacecraft commentary will now be "Whitney, Houston" --- replacing the familiar "Roger, Houston"
written by JAB
, 12 February 2012
NHS reforms: David Cameron says he is 'at one' with Andrew Lansley
"Hello... shades of a Willie Hague affair coming on?"
Virus-carrying mosquito returns to UK after 67 years
Mosquitos capable of spreading a potentially deadly virus have been found in Britain for the first time since 1945.
"The little varmints!"
8 arrests as Murdoch 'throws staff to the wolves'
Well someone has to cover the relegation clash v WBA at Molineux.
Usher ex-wife demands $50,000 to keep quiet.
From Mrs Usher to Miss Shush(er)...
RBS bankers arrested in tax probe.
A spokesman for the police said "They will be charged as soon as we clear out backlog of journalists, politicians and footballers".
Actress Hayley Atwell accuses Baftas of sexism
She's refusing to shake hands with any men at the BAFTA FILM AWARDS.
Murdoch faces fresh crisis as key Sun journalists arrested
Tomorrows copy will contain 2 pages of news, page 3, 2 pages of sport, 2 pages of tv and 57 pages of Murdochs tweets, in very large fonts.
Daily Star gagged by Conservative MP
Hard to believe, but apparently the Daily Star were actually going to print a news story!!
Tim Vine wins joke of the year for gag about Conjunctivitis
I didn't see that coming.
Michelle Obama spotted shopping at Agent Provocateur
In unrelated news President Obama has booked the day off for February 14th.
Gary Lineker to buy wife crisps for Valentine Day
He hasn't completely spoiled the surprise by revealing which flavours..
James Corden vows to beat his Cornetto addiction
"Just one more cornetto? oh go on then give it to me"
Bin Laden told his children 'Go to America and live in peace'
Good luck with that..
Southwark Council is paying a private company £2.45 a call to answer phone inquiries.
"Can you believe it?"
Handy-man Suarez refuses to wipe his bum clean!
A Uruguayan ignoramus acting like a moron yesterday refused to offer his filthy hand to Evra who he racially abused. His excuse was, he forgot to wash it after wiping his bum with it; shit head!
Seriel drug snorter and punchbag Whitney Houston found dead, Simon Cashcow devastated as he was hoping to get her on the cheap as a judge for X-Factor.
Whitney Houston found dead in LA hotel.
Very sad. Where was Kevin Costner (The Bodyguard) when she needed him?
Vauxhall £185 million loss - Plant Closure next?
Vauxhall may have to close its plant in Ellesmere Port, Cheshire, where it employs about 2,100.
"Let's pray they don't have to - please!"
If Argentina had waited a few weeks - they would have captured the Falklands!
Britain would not have been able to reclaim the Falklands in 1982 had Argentina waited a few more months to attack, due to planned cuts to our Navy.
"Will somebody please pass this on to Cameron?"
David Beckham has revealed he only has three true friends!
Still, he has got his £128million fortune to pal around with!
President Obama On Board Air Force 1 - Heading To Beverly Hills
Whitney Houston died in the Beverly Hill hotel, suspected cause of death is a drug overdose. Obama reportedly going to put his hands on her and bring her back to life. The Catholic Pope has doubts.