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Rating:

Republicans And The Clint Eastwood Commercial

What happened to all the Republican noise about Clint Eastwood's Super Bowl commercial? Did they lose their "shitzpah" and afraid to make his day?

Pass the mushrooms.

written by K.C. Bell, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Loss Of Both Fabio Capello And John Terry Not Important, Says FA

'OK, we don't have a manager or a captain,' said David Bernstein, chairman of the Football Association, 'but, what the Hell, football's only a game.'

written by Swan Morrison, 10 February 2012
Rating:

'Occupy Monte Carlo' Movement Slams Poor

'We are sick of the bloody poor whinging about our bonuses,' said a spokesman for the top executive's protest movement, Occupy Monte Carlo. 'The poor simply don't live in the real world.'

written by Swan Morrison, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Brit busty wench uses fertilizer to make them grow naturally!

Brit hairdresser, Rachel A. Uses fertilizer to help make her boobs grow naturally and it works they're size 30L. She never dyes her hair blonde because blondes use silicone to boost their boobs!

written by Jaggedone, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Guardian editor takes voluntary 10% pay cut

in related news, the chocolate biscuit budget for editorial meetings has been cut 25%

written by radiogagger, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Greece Is the Word!

Whats a Greek Urn?.....not enough apparently as Unions call 48 hour general strike in Greece!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 10 February 2012
Rating:

The Commish

John 'two jags' Prescott intends to run for position of Police Commissioner....sorry fat boy, first you aint no Blue Blood and second, Tom Selleck is better looking!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 10 February 2012
Rating:

The Fugitive!!

1993 UK fugitive 'Fast Eddie'nabbed in the Osarks by US Police...very painful indeed!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Stuart Pearce appointed England manager - for 1 match

On condition he doesn't take any penalties or do any pizza adverts.

written by radiogagger, 10 February 2012
Rating:

UK Immigration is at record levels!

New asylum figures show a rise in applications from Libya and Syria.

So, what are the facts?

Guardian - Immigration Facts

written by Inchcock, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Guus Hiddink 'interested in England job'

The FA have asked boot room staff to see if they can find Glenn Hoddles old 'GH' tracksuit from 1998.

written by radiogagger, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Are NHS waiting times really improving?

David (I'm a millionaire Etonian') Cameron said: Waiting times are down, infection rates are down.

"I do not believe him!"

written by Inchcock, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Fabio Capello thanks England fans

Fabio Capello yesterday thanked England fans for supporting him as he left the country with his head held high.

"Good sodding by to him and his rubbish results!"

written by Inchcock, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Man Held For Using Smutty Innuendo And Threatening The Clergy

"I can't wait to bash the bishop!" he said in a statement last night

written by Clive Danton, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Snowmen beheaded for 'damaging the grass'

A story to melt the hardest of hearts. Children in a London park spent hours building the perfect snowman. only for council workers to knock it down in the name of health and safety.

"Swine's!"

written by Inchcock, 10 February 2012
Rating:

RBS stops pensioner's free lunch!

Pensioners of RBS have become the latest victims of the state-backed lender's push to cut costs after being informed the annual lunch programme for former staff had been cancelled.

"Tight sods"!

written by Inchcock, 10 February 2012
Rating:

China plans to create 45m jobs in three years!

Bit like Cameron in the UK... but more believable!

written by Inchcock, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Jobcentre Plus: There are jobs out there!

JCP is taking on average 10,000 vacancies every working day.

"With officially 1.3m unemployed, nearer 2.2m in reality! Take off the part-time, and skilled jobs, what does that leave?"

written by Inchcock, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Beauty and the beast: Naomi Watts to play Princess Di

Naomi Watts has been cast to play Princess Di in the film Caught in Flight. The search is now on for an actor to play Prince Charles. Singers Lyle Lovett and Marilyn Manson appear to be front runners.

written by Lyndon, 10 February 2012
Rating:

Congress To Ban Negativity From Daily Lives

In an effort bring meanness to an end congress has ban all negativity. Scientists claim this would disrupt physics as we know it because about 1/3rd of all matter has a negative charge.

written by Jack Goff, 10 February 2012
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