Nick Clegg runs the country
It was revealed today that Nick Clegg has been running the country for the last 10 days as David Cameron has been freeloading it at the Olympics with Boris Johnson, Rupert Murdoch and Jeremy Hunt...
Tiddlywinks, snakes & Ladders, Ludo & Scrabble to become Olympic sports!
In 2016 several board games will be accepted as Olympic sports because their reps feel that if BMX racing is an Olympic sport then tiddlywinks, scrabble, etc, should also be given olympic status!
Drought means massive UK Food Price Rises!
In addition, British crops have been hit by disease brought on by the highest rainfall in the UK since records began!
The £5 loaf is in the offering!
NHS use of private ambulances puts lives at risk!
On one occasion recently a hit-and-run victim suffered head trauma but was allowed to walk away without a neck brace or anything!
Britain paid a record £19.2Billion to the EU last year!
£53million every day.
Official stats reveal our payments to Brussels rose by around £1.7billion in the last two years.
"What is Cameron getting out of it, that's what I want to know!"
Home Office is spending £3,300 a DAY on hotels for staff!
Government figures reveal the Home Office has spent around £600,000 on hotels in just 6 months. The cost is shocking when the Coalition was cutting 18,000 police officers.
David Cameron vows to push on with boundary changes
Cameron said: "Look, the House of Commons ought to be smaller, less expensive and we ought to have seats which are exactly the same size"
"Nepotist Cameron at his lying best!"
Lowest number of Police sine 2003
Drop in cops with numbers down by 10,000 since election!
"May I pass on the thanks of many victims of crime to Mr Cameron!"
It is reported that a number of Cameroon athletes have 'gone missing' from the Olympic 2012 village....sounds like they've done a runner to me!
We Have an Ape For that!
American Zoos consider raising revenues by renting out animals during periods of low attendance.
Elton John calls Madonna a 'fairground stripper'
Surely if she was a fairground stripper, she wear more denim?
Jodie Marsh Hits Back At Kirk Norcross For Branding Her A 'Fame Obsessed Liar'
If anyone knows who Kirk Norcross is (or in fact can remember who Jodie Marsh is), answers on a postage stamp please.
Chris Hoy wins sixth career Olympic Gold Medal.
Six bomb six bomb your a six bomb. Ahoy Ahoy Sir Chris!
Amazon says Kindle ebook sales have overtaken print
For every 100 hardback and paperback books it sells on its UK site, 114 ebooks are downloaded.
And of every 114 downloaded - 99 of them are '50 Shades of Grey'
Usain Bolt's gold medal 100m run attracts 20m UK TV viewers
I'm just glad it wasn't on ITV, they might have missed the 9.63 second race by accidentally showing a tic-tac advert.
Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak predicts problems with cloud computing
Too much rain (or is that just London?)
Louise Mensch quits as MP
To spend more time with Rupert Murdoch, I mean her family.