Famous Spoof writer goes down with E Coli!
Skoob 1999, famous spoof satirist, has been affected by an E Coli bacteria that attacked his intestines due to over consumption of hard boiled eggs: Portsmouth has been declared a Bio Hazard zone!
A pet Chilean rose tarantula has been found dumped next to a rubbish bin in Glasgow, the large hairy spider was swiftly rushed to the local chippy by homeles Angus McTangle and deep fried by request.
Microsoft sues Apple over patents
Microsoft has sued Apple for $9 billion following its recent actions. A Microsoft spokesman says that they has a patent on "being a douchebag company" and "having a dick for a CEO."
Yorkshire Man Left Angry by Chip Shop
A man who bought a savelloy & chips from a Bradford chip shop was left very annoyed when he realised that he was eating his meal from a copy of the Sun's photo of Prince Harry in the buff!
Montana Motorists Cannot Be Charged with Manslaughter
2 Montana motorists can not be charged with manslaughter because they ran over "Bigfoot". When the drivers checked out their road-kill in turned out to be a man dressed as a large monkey.
Karl Rove's Pets
Karl Rove has a new dog named Machiavello. His cat is named Machiavella. His goldfish are the Machiavellae.
Drinking for England
A Barnesly man has won 25 million pounds in the latest lottery draw. When asked what he would do with it, he replied "I'll drink it to the last penny". To the minute he has drunk 437 pints so far.
Houses of Parliament could close for five years for repairs!
Inchcock Commented: It's the Members of Parliament that need repairs... to their honesty glands, truth tissues, nepotist tendencies, and greed groins!
What's Up With That?
Kenyan wins "I Love Lucy" marathon. Watches 156 episodes in under 4 hours.