Romney "No one is asking for my birth certificate"
Asked if anyone is asking for his tax records, Mr. Romney spun three sixty on his right heel, then left the podium.
Clarity on the Murdoch Ashram Plans
A spokesperson has clarified that Rupert Murdoch will not begin wearing a dress with no underwear to prepare for a apiritual journey to an ashram in India-at this time.
Essex Lion Caught in Urban Jungle
A lion which was surrounded in a field in Essex was forced to swallow his pride and surrender. Farmer Giles Brandreth caught the beast by laying a large plate of KITEKAT in the middle of his field.
Essex Lion Identified
The Lion that was said to have roamed the countryside of Essex has been identified as Aslan when he jumped into a wardrobe in a bedroom of "The Old Green Witch" public house never to be seen again.
"I want my Mummy!"
A Welsh backpacker has been charged with setting fire to a French man wrapped in toilet paper and dressed as an Egyptian mummy at a fancy dress party in Sydney, Australia...one could not make it up!
Cutlery found in man's stomach 10 years after he swallowed it!
Mr Gardner, who was discharged from hospital this week, is expected to make a full recovery.
Photo's at this link: Daily Mirror
China: Bikini parade sets new Guinness World Record
In Huludao city, Liaoning Province, over the weekend, more than 1,200 women marched to make history.
The women, aged up to 70, paraded for nearly two hours!
"Damned... missed it!"
2 million workers lose cash as Govt cuts hit grafters!
They will get to keep less of any extra earnings as more will be taken away in tax and benefit reductions.
"I kept warning people before the election... did they listen to me? No!"
Hoots Mon there's a lion loose, aroond this hoose!
Reports of a 'loose' lion prowling around Essex, "fair go cobber, the poor bastard is probably looking for the yellow brick road!"
Bad Headline: Number 111
ONE-ARMED MAN APPLAUDS KINDNESS OF HIS RESCUERS
Berwick Rangers 1 Rangers (Newco formerly Glasgow) 1
So, finally one of Scotland's big two have finally decided to play league football in England.