A man died today after eating some cornflakes this morning. It was believed by scientists that the corn came from a field in Wiltshire which contained the crop circle of unknown origin.
Tony Blair wanted to end speech with: "God bless Britain"
However, the former Prime Minister said his suggestion provoked such strong concern from civil servants that he was forced to drop the idea.
"Not one of his better ideas was it?"
Longest game of Eye-Spy record broken!
Record holders: John & Alexandra Dudley, Cadeleigh, England
Details: 90 minutes 24/06/12 - while waiting for England to score a goal.
Boris: I'm more likely to go to Mars with Elvis than replace PM
"I've booked him a ticket to Mars Sputnik 239, and arranged for Elvis to meet him there!"
"It cost over £4m, but I'm sure Cameron will pay it for him!"