Vietnamese airline fined for mid-flight 'bikini show'
They should have waited until after the duty-free
Boozy couple invent daughter to get lift home
Next week they'll be applying for child benefit.
Big Fat Gypsy Prime Minister
The stars of Big Fat Gypsy Wedding have been put in charge of Britain for one week. "Not much happened," said Nick Clegg. "But France and Germany have been retarmacked."
written by IainB
, 10 August 2012
Male underpants arrested in Milton Keynes shopping centre!
A pair of male underpants were arrested today in Milton Keynes shopping mall. They belonged to a local tramp and whilst he slept on a bench, slipped off and went AWOL hoping to grab some fresh air!
Apparently the re-formed Spice Girls are 'revving up' for the closing Olympic Ceremony....I'm revving up and gettin' outta here...fast!!
Miliband hit out at proposals to relax gambling law
He said: "I'm sceptical about lots more casinos and I was sceptical about the super-casinos originally.
"I bet he was!"
Now E-Ciggies can damage your health!
Electronic cigarettes face a crackdown amid fears they could be harmful to smokers trying to quit tobacco!
"You can't win can you!"
Interesting UK Voting Intention History
15-06-1984: Con 37% Lab 38% LibDem 23% Others 2%
07-03-1992: Con 38% Lab 38% LibDem 20% Others 4%
22-07-2012: Con 34% Lab 39% LibDem 14% Others 13%
08-08-2012: Con 34% Lab 44% LibDem 10% Others 12%
Bolt for UN
Usain Bolt has declared that he wants to be the next Head of the United Nations Security Council. "Only I can achieve real world peace" he stated boldly. Bolt for Prez could be his election slogan.
Bolt to try new endeavour
Usain Bolt, the major star of the London Olympics, says he wants to run from John O' Groats to Lands End in a record time as soon as the Games are over.Is there anything this man can't do or say?
On the Campaign Trek
LONE RANGER: President Obama talks about same sex marriage, tax the rich and contraception for women. TONTO: Not one word about his Presidential piss poor performance on the economy!
Skies are not Falling
Data indicates that severe thunder storms, heat waves and droughts may naturally occur on 40 year cycles, while Arctic/Greenland ice melting may naturally occur on 150 year cycles!
Hidden Agenda Items
USDOT Secretary LaHood blamed a one car accident fatality on cell phone use. He was partially right as an autopsy showed the driver had been smuggling six cell phones in his rectum!
It's That Time Again
The US Congress has adjourned until after Labor Day, which means no more spending legislation until fall. The American public is advised to go out and spend their own money on what they want to!
The organization Atheists for Obama disbanded on learning that they only get one 72 year old vegan at the end of the campaign!
President Pinocchio Speaks
LONE RANGER: Pres. Obama uses EPA to shutter coal fired power plants putting coal miners out of work. TONTO: He then goes to Ohio to tell unionized coal miners that coal production is up on his watch!
Environmentalists want to remove the Hetch Hetchy reservoir from Yosemite National Park to restore a flooded canyon. San Francisco gets real cheap water and electricity and will fight the proposal!
Mark Twain may have said if he lived in the 21st century, there are liars, damned liars and the Obama for America organization campaign senior staff!
A Hindsight Observation
Alarming the emergency exit in a Colorado Theater with a Klaxon/horn that goes off whenever the door is opened could have led to different results!
Rousing Political Endorsement
Overheard at a gay protest rally outside a Chick-Fil-A restaurant; "whenever I hear President Obama's name my pee-pee gets hard!"
Sleazy Democratic Politics
Obama for America headquarters in Washington DC has been closed by the local Board of Health. It seems that too much slime was oozing out from under the front door endangering pedestrians!
Senate Majority Leader Reid (D-NV) has been told by an unknown source that President Obama will issue an executive order that every American citizen is to be provided with an AK-47 assault rifle!
A Washington DC rumor has it that if President Obama wins a second term the White House will be moved to the left bank of the Potomac River!
Stronger FDA regulations on food production were enacted 18 months ago, but not implemented. Isn't it amazing that Aunt Jane's unmonitored July Picnic deviled eggs haven't caused any problems!
US Senator's Nicknames
Senate Majority Leader Reid (D-NV) has acquired the nickname "slime ball" for his innuendo uttered on the Senate floor about Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's taxes!
USA win gold medal in Womens Olympics Soccer
They said USA didn't have a hope against World Champions Japan, they were wrong, #TeamUSA had Hope Solo.
London Olympics: Jade Jones wins Gold in womens Taekwondo
She told reporters she plans to celebrate in Brick Lane with a Thai-Curry.
Gary Barlow Sent Sick Twitter Messages Over Stillborn Child by Ex-'Big Brother' Contestant Kenneth Tong
Amy Winehouse's Ex Husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, Fighting For His Life
Another Gold medal for #TeamGB?