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Rating:

Vietnamese airline fined for mid-flight 'bikini show'

They should have waited until after the duty-free

written by radiogagger, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Boozy couple invent daughter to get lift home

Next week they'll be applying for child benefit.

written by radiogagger, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Big Fat Gypsy Prime Minister

The stars of Big Fat Gypsy Wedding have been put in charge of Britain for one week. "Not much happened," said Nick Clegg. "But France and Germany have been retarmacked."

written by IainB, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Male underpants arrested in Milton Keynes shopping centre!

A pair of male underpants were arrested today in Milton Keynes shopping mall. They belonged to a local tramp and whilst he slept on a bench, slipped off and went AWOL hoping to grab some fresh air!

written by Jaggedone, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Too much.

Apparently the re-formed Spice Girls are 'revving up' for the closing Olympic Ceremony....I'm revving up and gettin' outta here...fast!!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Miliband hit out at proposals to relax gambling law

He said: "I'm sceptical about lots more casinos and I was sceptical about the super-casinos originally.

"I bet he was!"

written by Inchcock, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Now E-Ciggies can damage your health!

Electronic cigarettes face a crackdown amid fears they could be harmful to smokers trying to quit tobacco!

"You can't win can you!"

written by Inchcock, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Interesting UK Voting Intention History

15-06-1984: Con 37% Lab 38% LibDem 23% Others 2%
07-03-1992: Con 38% Lab 38% LibDem 20% Others 4%
22-07-2012: Con 34% Lab 39% LibDem 14% Others 13%
08-08-2012: Con 34% Lab 44% LibDem 10% Others 12%

written by Inchcock, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Bolt for UN

Usain Bolt has declared that he wants to be the next Head of the United Nations Security Council. "Only I can achieve real world peace" he stated boldly. Bolt for Prez could be his election slogan.

written by whatinthe world, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Bolt to try new endeavour

Usain Bolt, the major star of the London Olympics, says he wants to run from John O' Groats to Lands End in a record time as soon as the Games are over.Is there anything this man can't do or say?

written by whatinthe world, 10 August 2012
Rating:

On the Campaign Trek

LONE RANGER: President Obama talks about same sex marriage, tax the rich and contraception for women. TONTO: Not one word about his Presidential piss poor performance on the economy!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Skies are not Falling

Data indicates that severe thunder storms, heat waves and droughts may naturally occur on 40 year cycles, while Arctic/Greenland ice melting may naturally occur on 150 year cycles!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Hidden Agenda Items

USDOT Secretary LaHood blamed a one car accident fatality on cell phone use. He was partially right as an autopsy showed the driver had been smuggling six cell phones in his rectum!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

It's That Time Again

The US Congress has adjourned until after Labor Day, which means no more spending legislation until fall. The American public is advised to go out and spend their own money on what they want to!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Tough Luck

The organization Atheists for Obama disbanded on learning that they only get one 72 year old vegan at the end of the campaign!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

President Pinocchio Speaks

LONE RANGER: Pres. Obama uses EPA to shutter coal fired power plants putting coal miners out of work. TONTO: He then goes to Ohio to tell unionized coal miners that coal production is up on his watch!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Progressive Hypocrites

Environmentalists want to remove the Hetch Hetchy reservoir from Yosemite National Park to restore a flooded canyon. San Francisco gets real cheap water and electricity and will fight the proposal!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Possible Quote

Mark Twain may have said if he lived in the 21st century, there are liars, damned liars and the Obama for America organization campaign senior staff!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

A Hindsight Observation

Alarming the emergency exit in a Colorado Theater with a Klaxon/horn that goes off whenever the door is opened could have led to different results!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Rousing Political Endorsement

Overheard at a gay protest rally outside a Chick-Fil-A restaurant; "whenever I hear President Obama's name my pee-pee gets hard!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Sleazy Democratic Politics

Obama for America headquarters in Washington DC has been closed by the local Board of Health. It seems that too much slime was oozing out from under the front door endangering pedestrians!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Fairness

Senate Majority Leader Reid (D-NV) has been told by an unknown source that President Obama will issue an executive order that every American citizen is to be provided with an AK-47 assault rifle!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Unsubstantiated Claim

A Washington DC rumor has it that if President Obama wins a second term the White House will be moved to the left bank of the Potomac River!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Food Monitoring

Stronger FDA regulations on food production were enacted 18 months ago, but not implemented. Isn't it amazing that Aunt Jane's unmonitored July Picnic deviled eggs haven't caused any problems!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

US Senator's Nicknames

Senate Majority Leader Reid (D-NV) has acquired the nickname "slime ball" for his innuendo uttered on the Senate floor about Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's taxes!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 August 2012
Rating:

USA win gold medal in Womens Olympics Soccer

They said USA didn't have a hope against World Champions Japan, they were wrong, #TeamUSA had Hope Solo.

written by radiogagger, 10 August 2012
Rating:

London Olympics: Jade Jones wins Gold in womens Taekwondo

She told reporters she plans to celebrate in Brick Lane with a Thai-Curry.

written by radiogagger, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Gary Barlow Sent Sick Twitter Messages Over Stillborn Child by Ex-'Big Brother' Contestant Kenneth Tong

Big bother.

written by radiogagger, 10 August 2012
Rating:

Amy Winehouse's Ex Husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, Fighting For His Life

Another Gold medal for #TeamGB?

written by radiogagger, 10 August 2012
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