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Hexidecimal hits for the old micro PCs

The data-loading sounds of 1980s microcomputers have hit the download charts. Old geeks are going crazy over the 'squeal' and 'snore' of games for the BBC, CBM64, and Spectrum48. Robot rock, man!

written by Nate John Won, 01 August 2012
Rating:

Sea food - and eat it!

The new seafood chess game Ships Mate! has hit supermarket shelves - this is an edible version of chess with prawns replacing pawns, and muscles, winkles and cockles for knights, bishops and castles.

written by Nate John Won, 01 August 2012
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Portuguese take gold and silver in Olympic diving

The Olympic Diving gold was won by Portugal today when Nani executed a perfect dive. Ronaldo had to settle for silver, as his dive lacked elegance.

written by IainB, 01 August 2012
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Indian Olympic TV Ratings Suffer

With the Indian blackout causing 700 million people to use power, Indian TV has regretfully reported a decline of 50% in household Olympic viewership. Advertisers are vehemently demanding refunds.

written by Matt Morchower, 01 August 2012
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Scalia Robe Hides 1s & 2s

Asked post-Aurora whether the Court would regulate 100-round assault weapons, Judge Scalia said, "We'll see." Easy to be tough when your robe covers the loose bowels you'd have running for the exit.

written by Matt Morchower, 01 August 2012
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Man Utd pay 350 million for an unknown Amazon Indian!

Sick to death of paying horrendous wages and agents fees, Sir Alex Ferguson has signed a Brazilian Amazon Indian who was seen juggling his Brazilian nuts on You Tube for £350 million; what a bargain!

written by Jaggedone, 01 August 2012
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Something to harp on about...

The emergence from bankruptcy of the Philadelphia Orchestra has been greeted with caution by other US orchestras. "Somebody must be on the fiddle," insisted a Boston Philharmonic spokesman.

written by David Sapsted, 01 August 2012
Rating:

Balotelli hides in toilet to avoid fans!

Man City's Mario Balotelli locked himself in an airport toilet to hide from a mob of adoring fans.

"He didn't want to get bogged down?"

written by Inchcock, 01 August 2012
Rating:

Polygamist immigrants will get additional benefits cash

Immigrants with more than one wife will get additional benefits cash due to a loophole in the Government's welfare reforms.

"Oh I am glad for them!"

written by Inchcock, 01 August 2012
Rating:

Needle Found in Airline Sandwich

An Air Krash passenger found a sewing needle in a catered sandwich on a flight from London to Toronto.
A $5.00 surcharge was added to the passenger's bill for the extra iron in her diet.

written by PP Rega, 01 August 2012
Rating:

A girl like Maria

After years of climbing mountains, fording streams, and following every by-way Austrian nun Maria von Trapp has finally found her dream. She is now going to collect every one of her favourite things.

written by Nate John Won, 01 August 2012
Rating:

Game for a laugh

Camp comedian Cecil Flowerdew got a nasty shock on 'Celebrity Country Life' this week - "I told the keeper I was game," said Flowerdew, "and he whipped out his 12-bore shotgun. I had to run for it."

written by Nate John Won, 01 August 2012
Rating:

New i-Poo

The Phony company have just launched the all new i-Poo which opens up like a lightweight book, and rests on one's lap while sitting on the lavatory. It is compatible with the Phony i-Shop application.

written by Nate John Won, 01 August 2012
Rating:

'All White?'

In response to the White party's declaration that the UK is overrun with 'foreigners', the Pre-Anglo-Celtic party suggested that perhaps only the direct descendants of the Beaker Folk should remain.

written by Nate John Won, 01 August 2012
Rating:

Hull - and back

Furniture removal man Peter Eyesore had a Narnia moment when he accidentally fell into a wardrobe in his van. His partner then drove off and Peter stepped out of the van in Humberside. What a day!

written by Nate John Won, 01 August 2012
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