Hexidecimal hits for the old micro PCs
The data-loading sounds of 1980s microcomputers have hit the download charts. Old geeks are going crazy over the 'squeal' and 'snore' of games for the BBC, CBM64, and Spectrum48. Robot rock, man!
Sea food - and eat it!
The new seafood chess game Ships Mate! has hit supermarket shelves - this is an edible version of chess with prawns replacing pawns, and muscles, winkles and cockles for knights, bishops and castles.
Portuguese take gold and silver in Olympic diving
The Olympic Diving gold was won by Portugal today when Nani executed a perfect dive. Ronaldo had to settle for silver, as his dive lacked elegance.
written by IainB
, 01 August 2012
Indian Olympic TV Ratings Suffer
With the Indian blackout causing 700 million people to use power, Indian TV has regretfully reported a decline of 50% in household Olympic viewership. Advertisers are vehemently demanding refunds.
Scalia Robe Hides 1s & 2s
Asked post-Aurora whether the Court would regulate 100-round assault weapons, Judge Scalia said, "We'll see." Easy to be tough when your robe covers the loose bowels you'd have running for the exit.
Man Utd pay 350 million for an unknown Amazon Indian!
Sick to death of paying horrendous wages and agents fees, Sir Alex Ferguson has signed a Brazilian Amazon Indian who was seen juggling his Brazilian nuts on You Tube for £350 million; what a bargain!
Something to harp on about...
The emergence from bankruptcy of the Philadelphia Orchestra has been greeted with caution by other US orchestras. "Somebody must be on the fiddle," insisted a Boston Philharmonic spokesman.
Balotelli hides in toilet to avoid fans!
Man City's Mario Balotelli locked himself in an airport toilet to hide from a mob of adoring fans.
"He didn't want to get bogged down?"
Polygamist immigrants will get additional benefits cash
Immigrants with more than one wife will get additional benefits cash due to a loophole in the Government's welfare reforms.
"Oh I am glad for them!"
Needle Found in Airline Sandwich
An Air Krash passenger found a sewing needle in a catered sandwich on a flight from London to Toronto.
A $5.00 surcharge was added to the passenger's bill for the extra iron in her diet.
A girl like Maria
After years of climbing mountains, fording streams, and following every by-way Austrian nun Maria von Trapp has finally found her dream. She is now going to collect every one of her favourite things.
Game for a laugh
Camp comedian Cecil Flowerdew got a nasty shock on 'Celebrity Country Life' this week - "I told the keeper I was game," said Flowerdew, "and he whipped out his 12-bore shotgun. I had to run for it."
The Phony company have just launched the all new i-Poo which opens up like a lightweight book, and rests on one's lap while sitting on the lavatory. It is compatible with the Phony i-Shop application.
In response to the White party's declaration that the UK is overrun with 'foreigners', the Pre-Anglo-Celtic party suggested that perhaps only the direct descendants of the Beaker Folk should remain.
Hull - and back
Furniture removal man Peter Eyesore had a Narnia moment when he accidentally fell into a wardrobe in his van. His partner then drove off and Peter stepped out of the van in Humberside. What a day!