Sound travels five times faster through water than through air!
"Oh good! Can David Cameron make his next speech from within a tank of water please?"
"Calling Mr Jackson, calling Mr Jackson!"
Siege at Tottenham Court Road ended... Police got fed up waiting for Samuel L Jackson and Kevin Spacey to arrive, cancelled the Burger King order and called it a day after arresting the fruitloop!
Rupert Murdoch calls David Camerons son a 'retard'
In public (at the Leveson inquiry).
The mind boggles what he calls his own son (Former News International CEO James who stepped down two weeks ago) in private(?)
Barcelona get new TV
Tito Vilanova will succeed Pep Guardiola as coach in the summer.
Obama pulls out all the stops in campaign
The Obama campaign has doubled-down its effort to woo young female voters. Yesterday, VP Biden told a NYU audience "I promise you, the president has a big stick."
New Witness Oath To Be Introduced For Leveson Enquiry
'The usual oath hasn't worked,' said a spokesman. 'The new one will say: I hereby agree that if 95% of the public believe I am lying, Lord Leveson will remove my testicles with secateurs, live on TV.'
Pep Guardiola to end reign as Barcelona coach in summer
In a prepared statement today 38 year old Guardiola said 'the embarrassment of managing a team that conceded a goal to Fernando Torres is too much and I need time away to recover'
Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 33
More Embarrassment For Home Secretary
According to a leaked Home Office memo, Teresa May.
I really wish she wouldn't.
Walkin' the dog, not here.
A Louisiana man has been arrested for walking his dog after midnight in contravention of laws banning animal/human interaction in the small hours of the morn. His dog however was released free.
Betfred declare title race over and payout to Manchester United backers.
Betfreds co-founder thought the race was over with 7 games left. He memorably paid out early in 1998 to United backers only for Arsenal to win the league.
His name, Fred Done. Looks like he has been.