Koala Bears Have Human Voice Boxes
You won't believe this, but scientists are trying to tell us all that Koala Bears have human voice boxes because they are so noisy when mating. However, they are not as noisy as Maria Sharipova.
To make sure Great Britain is actually experiencing an Indian summer, several weather forecasters have been legally brought in from Mumbai.
Transport Secretary, Philip Hammond, Urges UK Motorway Speed Limit Of 80mph
'This will save millions through shorter journey times,' he explained. 'Although we will also be banning caffeine so travellers don't fritter away the extra time on coffee breaks.'
Miliband Urges UK Speed Limits To Be Waived For Undeserving Poor
'This would give them more rights than responsible "grafters",' he told the Labour Party conference, 'so no one could accuse us of Dickensian social policies. It would, however, cull their numbers.'
Gov. Chris Christie Never Met a Meal He Did Not Like
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who is quite a hefty fella, says he will enter the GOP race especially after he heard that after each debate the candidates are given an All-You-Can-Eat Dinner.
Newt Gingrich Is Tired of The Basketball Mess
Newt Gingrich's Whiter Than White Bus Tour pulled into Pocatello, Idaho, where he told a crowd of 83 white folks that if he is elected president he will outsource the NBA to Pakistan.
Snooki Polizzi Talks About Her Guidette Puppies
The Jersey Shore's Snooki Polizzi was asked what she thought about global warming. She blushed and said that she figures that she'll just have to wear a thinner bra.
President Obama Wants There To Be Basketball Y'all
President Obama says he wants the NBA owners and players to settle their differences real soon. He said if the players leave to go play in Europe then he'll lose the black NBA player vote.
The Man Is A Grand Fan of Pancakes
Gov. Chris "Chubby" Christie says that if he is elected president he will have an IHOP built right next to the White House.
The Palin's Are So Devastated They Say They Won't Be Seeing The Movie
Sarah Palin says that the book exposé on her is starting to affect her whole family. She noted that nine-year-old Piper told her the other day that she cannot even stand to hear the word basketball.
Rick Santorum Says He Wants To Be The Taxpayers Friend
GOP candidate Rick Santorum says that he wants for President Obama to save the taxpayers some money by selling off Air Force One and traveling to places by bus like he and the GOP candidates do.
Herman "Godfather's Pizza" Cain Is Just Taking Advantage
Mitt Romney and Rick Perry are demanding that pizza not be served to the candidates after their debates. They say it's gone to Herman Cain's head and he goes around saying that he's the Pizza King.
Failed the Smell Test
WH Press Secretary Carney was rushed to GWU Hospital to have his Pinocchio nose shortened. The cause, justifying Pres. Obama giving taxpayer money for green jobs to Democratic Party big contributors!
What an amazing coincidence that Representative Nancy Pelosi's (D-CA) Bother-in-Law is receiving a $737 million green jobs loan from the unethical Obama administration!