British English is the only language with innuendo
Cunning Linguists have discovered that innuendo is peculiar to British English. "Other countries don't get it," said Mary Hinge. "They'd like to get it. Britain should give it to the world."
written by IainB
, 24 September 2011
New series of Cheers
Eire TV in Ireland are set to remake the popular 80s American sitcom Cheers. It will be called Slainte but otherwise will be identical, including being owned by Sam Malone. A good Irish name.
written by IainB
, 24 September 2011
Perry lays out education plan, suggests changes in grammar
Governor Rick Perry outlined his education plan to Florida Republicans. Among several changes, Perry proposes simplifying English pronouns by replacing "you" in the second person plural with "y'all".
written by Lyndon
, 24 September 2011
Sarah Palin Will Help Raise Money For The 'Tea Baggers'
The Tea Bag Party has said that they are starting to run low on funds. They plan to hold a Sarah Palin Slaughter A Reindeer Festival in Wasilla, Alaska where contestants will pay a $2,000 entry fee.
The Iowa Cornfield Was The Scene of The Crime
Police in Sioux City, Iowa arrested two teens after they were caught in a cornfield with Magic Markers drawing earrings on ears of corn.
Michele Bachmann Had No Earthly Idea What She Was Asked About
Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour pulled into Detroit. When asked what she thought about bling bling she said "Well, If it concerns Health Care then I am totally against it."
The Much Misunderstood Rich Girl Formerly Known As Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton said she really misses the good old days when she had a TV show, was hot, and was newsworthy. Now she says she feels like she's just another answer to a Jeopardy game show question.
Review of David Cameron by voter
A Nottingham voter, has stated what he thinks of David Cameron: "He's an possessive, who is working toward promotion to a sycotic!"
In Milton Keynes Today…
A man from Milton Keynes bought a 5mm screw from the UARS satellite today for £25 on eBay on "buy it now" from Hong Kong. He said: "I am delighted to be able to buy a piece of history!"
EBay Inundated with Satellite Relics
Saturday 24th September 2011: eBay report hundreds of sales of the UARS satellite which came down to earth today. NASA said that there are enough pieces to build three new satellites!
Fair Share of Taxes
Please point out the paragraph in the US Constitution that specifies King Obama I can determine what a citizen's fair share of taxes is! How about getting the 47% that pay no income tax to pony up!
The White House announced President Obama plans to tax the 14 million unemployed US workers, since the reason the US economy is doing so bad is these people do not have jobs!
Pelosi Comments about More Obamanomics
House Minority Leader Pelosi (D-CA) asked Pres. Obama not to tax the 14 million unemployed US workers, but to deport them to China/India where the jobs are. The US unemployment rate would be 0%!
Changing the Name
Toyota is considering a change to the name of its complementary maintenance plan "Toyota Care." A decrease in US automobile sales has been reported, as many Americans believe this is ObamaCare!
Same Stuff, Different Year
Newly elected Democrats (if there are any) to Congress in 2013 will receive a "Bullshit Kit." The kit will be composed of Pres. Obama, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), and SML Harry Reid's (D-NV) speeches!
Fair Share of Presidents
The US has had Democratic and Republican presidents, may elect a women or homosexual president in the future. Unfortunately at this moment in our history an incompetent occupies the White House!
Strange Statement by a Hiker Detained in Iran
Mr. Bauer: "Two years in prison is too long and we sincerely hope for the freedom of other political prisoners and other unjustly imprisoned people in America and Iran."
Kissy-Kissy Political Solicitation
The Democratic Party is on a first name basis asking, Tom please send a $5.00 donation, Barack. The president wouldn't know Tom, even if he got by the Secret Service and bit Barack on the butt!
Politicizing Ice Cream
BEN & JERRY'S latest ice cream creation called "Schweddy Balls" doesn't agree with a conservative ice cream maker. The unnamed firm will market ObamaAdmin which is to be full of "fruits and nuts!"
Ahmadinejad at the UN Again
Iranian President Ahmadinejad spoke at the UN General Assembly. This year 193 countries shouted Schmuck, Schmuck, Schmuck. He smiled at the audience, until the words were translated into Farsi!
Asian carp, an invasive non-native species that Illinois is trying to prevent from entering the Great Lakes can be used to feed the hungry. The project will be called the Edible Sea Kitten Program!
Dysfunctional Rabid Environmentalists I
Concrete plants are subject to excessive EPA regulations. Environmentalists say that if these regulations are not enforced, businesses will then be free to burn tires and dump sewage into rivers.
Dysfunctional Rabid Environmentalists II
Ethanol has been shown not to reduce air pollution levels below that of gasoline. Environmentalists say that the reason is the diesel fueled trucks that deliver the Ethanol!
Obama Was Left Behind
King Obama I is to make changes to the "No Child left Behind Law" by executive order. Congress wants the president to go back to school and learn about Separation of Powers in the US Constitution!
The Forth GOP Presidential Debate
The Republican presidential race had the eight steeds and one filly running again. Washington DC bookmakers are waiting to see who gets scratched or if a dark horse appears, before posting odds!
They Agree on Some Items
In a rare show of bipartisanship, Congressional Republicans and Democrats agreed that Iran's President Ahmadinejad makes a perpetual horse's ass of himself at the UN!
Republicans May Shoot Themselves in the Foot
As they did in 2010 in Delaware and Nevada, Tea Party Republicans in Indiana and elsewhere could snatch Senate seats from the Jaws of victory by challenging GOP incumbents!
White House Announcement
President Obama announced that after leaving the White House in 2013, he will convert to Buddhism & go to live with the exiled Dalai Lama. Phone calls to Upper Dharamsala India are not being returned!
Senior's Clothing In 2013
Older Americans will be wearing I survived President Jimmy Carter caps and I survived President Barack Obama tee shirts!
Dysfunctional Food Police
The food police want to ban sugary soft drinks to halt obesity. The food police also want to ban non-sugary soft drinks, as these may cause a craving for sugary soft drinks! What a crock?
A new comic strip about Pres. Obama who supports the socialist way, leaps over the US Constitution, able to stop power plants, oil wells & provides amnesty for illegal immigrants who vote Democratic!