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Olympics coming up

Organisers of the London 2012 Olympics have said that in between athletics events, spectators will be entertained by competitive chess matches - also known as inter-race pawn features.

written by MonkeyInTheBath, 23 September 2011
Rating:

Neutrino At CERN Exceeds Speed Of Light

When confronted by scientists, the neutrino involved explained that it had forgotten its wife's birthday, and relativity had had to take second place to getting a present and booking a restaurant.

written by Swan Morrison, 23 September 2011
Rating:

Liechtenstein Has Gotten With The Program

The tiny European country of Liechtenstein has just allotted its Department of the Navy enough money to purchase it first vessel ever. The six-man canoe should be delivered in about three weeks.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 September 2011
Rating:

Herman Cain Has Got Some Pizza Background Fo Sho Nuff

Herman Cain has been offered his own reality show to be called The Chitlin Cake Boss.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 September 2011
Rating:

Jon Huntsman Continues To Be The Most Confused GOP Candidate Since Dan Quayle

GOP candidate Jon Huntsman has denied the rumor that he is thinking of having sexual reassignment surgery. He did however admit that he is toying with the idea of having a sex change operation.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 September 2011
Rating:

Florida Says That They'll Fill Arizona's "Special Order"

Florida has agreed to ship thousands of pink lawn flamingos to Arizona as per the request of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 September 2011
Rating:

Cuts to Affect Soap

To make it more realistic, ITV are planning to rename its long-running soap 'Emmerdale' into 'Dale Farm' which will hopefully increase the ratings.

written by IN SEINE, 23 September 2011
Rating:

Cage Fighting to Be Introduced into the House of Commons

A petition is going round for public support to introduce cage fighting in the House of Commons - if this is successful, a padded version will follow for the House of Lords.

written by IN SEINE, 23 September 2011
Rating:

Obvious Sign of the Times

Scientists at the CERN have found a substance that is even faster than the speed of light. It's a obvious that it is the speed of darkness - yes, ladies and gentlemen we are entering the DARK AGES!

written by IN SEINE, 23 September 2011
Rating:

Elton John's life to be filmed, sorry Reg Dwight's!

Reg Dwight is to have his life filmed; it's just "like a candle in the wind" blowing this way and then that way. He ended up being a pop Gay icon, just like the rest of them, ask George (which one?).

written by Jaggedone, 23 September 2011
Rating:

REM split up!

REM are to split up because they've "Lost their religion"

written by Jaggedone, 23 September 2011
Rating:

Cloris Leachman and Madonna Have Literally Seen It All Hundreds of Times

Cloris Leachman and Madonna have signed on to appear in a brand new cooking reality show called Cooking With The Has-Beens.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 September 2011
Rating:

The National Biscuit Company Is Extremely Upset

Nabisco is suing several black standup comedians who persist on using their product name cracker in a derogatory manner.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 September 2011
Rating:

The Alabama Woman Needs To Go To Bed With A Banjo On Her Knee

A woman in Birmingham, Alabama who had given birth to seven sets of twins in a row is reportedly devastated after giving birth to just one baby.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 September 2011
Rating:

The U.S. Post Office Will Soon Be Going Bye Bye

The U.S. Post Office announced that when it shuts down they will pour all of the mail in one big gigantic pile in front of each post office and people can go through it and pick out their mail.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 September 2011
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