Scot's-Irish tunnel a surprise!
The tunnel that nobody wants is about to be built between Scotland and Ireland because the Irish are broke and the Scots too tight so the English will have to foot the bill!
Berlin to hold Eurozone crisis talks!
European leaders are meeting in Berlin to discuss the Eurozone crisis. Merkel has suggested building a wall along the Greek border and patrolling it with East Germans!
Islamists attack Tunis, they thought it was NY!
Radical Islamists have attacked Tunis, they thought it was NY, their sat nav was out of order!
Rooney red card was not red; it was dyed!
Rooney's red card was not red! The German ref admitted, "I pulled the yellow one out but due to the rain discolouring it in my pocket it had turned red." Too bad, but lucky for Germany and the rest!
Sir Paul marries his third and hopes it's not just "A hard days night"!
Paul McCartney has married again and hopes now to forget "Yesterday" because he knows he "Can't buy me love". His new wife is not a "Lucy in the sky without diamonds" she's rich too so "Let it be"!
Mystic Meg horoscopes off-line!
We apologise for this disappointment for all of her forecast fans.
Due to an unforeseen technical problem.
David Cameron swings to the right say's his hairdresser Julian
Cameron's tailor, Wilberforce Ponsonby-Prenderghast commented: "I've known that for years me dears!"
Nick Clegg sends out questionnaire to Lib-Dem voters!
Clegg has authorised the issue of a questionnaire to Lib-Dem voters, to assess their opinion of the Coalition with the Tories.
When all three forms are returned, they will be examined thoroughly.
China Knows How To Play The Game And Play It Damn Good!
A Chinese court has ruled that the recent Chinese-American basketball brawl was caused by the U.S. players. The team has been fined $800,000 and that amount will simply be tacked on to the U.S. bill.
Rick Perry Definitely Knows How To Keep Folks Happy
Gov. Rick Perry says that in order to make everyone happy about the former name of his ranch he is renaming it The Grand Old Oprah Land.
Willie Nelson Does Know His Republican Candidates
Marijuana enthusiast Willie Nelson was asked which of the GOP candidates would be prefer see run against President Obama. Willie put down his guitar and roach clip and replied, "Abraham Lincoln."
The All Knowing, All Seeing Michele Bachmann
Michele Bachmann has stated that now that Sarah Palin is out of the GOP picture that leaves her and Rick Santorum as the only two Republican candidates who wear female underwear.
Hank "Sour Grapes" Williams Jr., Put His Boot In His Mouth
Hank Williams Jr., says he's glad that ESPN fired him from Monday Night Football because after 20 years he was sick and tired of singing that stupid song, "Are You Ready For Some Football?"
George Lopez Is Still On Food Stamps
George Lopez whose talk show was cancelled two months ago still has not found a job. He told his barber that he is starting to feel like the Hispanic Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin's Book Writing Neighbor Saw The Writing On The Wall
Harold Camping says that he predicted that Sarah Palin would not be running for president in 2012 way before he read about her extra-marital dalliances in her neighbor's book.
The Mormon Lawmakers Are A Strict Bunch of Dudes
The Mormon Organization just passed a mandate stating that effective Jan. 1, 2012, Mormon males will not be allowed to have more than five wives. Violators will have their wieners duct taped.
McCartney to wed, makes it clear that fiancee has two legs and is sane
The third time a charm? Insiders say Paul McCartney will soon wed Nancy Shevell. Paul, snubbing previous wife Heather Mills: "I thought I'd go for something different this time: two legs and sanity."
written by Lyndon
, 09 October 2011
If You can't tell who the zombie in the room is...
it's probably you.
MLB braces for another painfully dull post-season
With the Red Sox not qualifying and the Yankees and Phillies knocked out in the first round of the playoffs, many fans are painfully reminded of the last time the postseason was this boring: 2010.
written by Lyndon
, 09 October 2011