Order by:
Rating:

Explosion in herb factory!!

Man gets herbs blown in his eyes by the blast!!

Doctors say "He will probably be ok, but he will be parsley sighted"

written by the edgy gerbil, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin Will Soon Be Just An 'Answer' on Jeopardy

Walmart says they're recalling over 18,000 Sarah Palin Action Figure Dolls since Palin has announced that she will not be running in 2012. The dolls will be melted down and made into condoms.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Cameron Diaz - The Ex-Yankee Girlfriend Who Can Roar Up A Storm

Cameron Diaz, the ex-girlfriend of New York Yankees player A-Rod, was so sad to see the Detroit Tigers eliminate the Yankees that she went out and bought herself shoes, jewelry, and a Tiger's cap.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Britney "Oops" Spears Feels Great

Britney Spears says that she is really feeling great and proudly boasts that she has hardly lip synced at all during the past two weeks.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2011
Rating:

The Great Hulk Hogan Is Returning To The World of 1,2,3

Retired wrestler Hulk Hogan has stated that he wants to make a wrestling comeback. He has agreed to wrestle Sarah Palin, who suddenly has lots and lots of free time on her hands.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Washington DC Pre-School to perform Full Pat Downs on Students.

Bombs? Weapons? Sarah Palin dolls? No! Poopies!

written by mikewadestr, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Two of Miliband's MPs quit the frontbench!

Shadow health secretary Mr Healey and shadow business secretary Mr Denham are to quit the frontbench.

"They will remain in the HP, according to sauces!"

written by Inchcock, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Cable emerges as Lib Dems' favourite - and candidate to succeed Clegg

Vince Cable, the Business Secretary, has emerged as the Lib-Dem politician most highly rated by the party's members.

He quoted; "I'd like to thank the MPs, and the dozens of Lib-Dem voters!"

written by Inchcock, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Labour offers tax breaks to boost growth

Shadow chancellor Ed Balls, has offered tax breaks to homeowners and small businesses as part of a five-point plan to boost growth.

Chancellor George Osborne quoted; "It's all a load of balls!"

written by Inchcock, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Jon Huntsman - That Fella From That State

CBSs Face The Nation has booked Jon Huntsman to appear on the news program and explain to the America viewers just exactly who the hell he is.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Newt Gingrich Is Fed Up With The Nickname He Has Been Given

Newt Gingrich appeared on CNNs State of The Union news program and told host Candy Crowley that he wants for her and the rest of America to stop calling him "That fat old cabbage patch doll."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Michele Bachmann Has An Answer For Everything

Michele Bachmann was asked why she is planning on campaigning in Tijuana, Mexico. She smiled and replied "To get the waiter vote silly."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Herman Cain Knows All About Round Food

David Gregory, the host of NBCs Meet The Press will interview Herman Cain and ask him about the Civil Rights Movement and why pepperoni pizzas have become so popular in just the past two years.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin Not Running

Sarah Palin is not running for president in 2012, as she just doesn't have the Cojones for it!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Protestors Pelted with Apples

Westboro Baptist Church protestors try to picket Steve Jobs funeral. Millions of attendees pelt them with Macs and Apple IIs, weighing about 50 lbs each.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Joint Rally

Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street protestors held a joint rally outside the White House. Placards read "go to your left, go to your right Obama's clueless economic policies are a real fright!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Next Case

Libertarian group sues President Obama for being an economic moron. Federal court judge says there is no requirement in the US Constitution prohibiting this characteristic!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

UN Postpones Debate

The UN General Assembly has postponed debate on Palestine being an observer nation to discuss the more important issue of why there are no paper towels in the headquarters' restrooms!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Strange Bedfellows

Occupy Wall Street protestors carried pictures of anti-Capitalist Capitalists Michael Moore and George Soros. Wait a minute isn't this an Oxymoron?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Please Pass the Butter

A number of Danish Butter Tax organization bureaucrats were found in an alley with all their orifices stuffed with sticks of butter!



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Now They Wake Up

Civil liberties groups are upset over the Anwar al-Awlaki killing! Where have they been hiding for almost three years while Pres. Obama has been trampling on the US Constitution?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

They Must Be Twins

Republicans have noticed the similarity between President Obama and Maryland's Democratic governor tax and spend speeches. However, the Maryland governor doesn't use a TelePrompTer!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

I Would Run

Maryland's Democratic Governor indicates he would become a Republican, if he can run for president now that NJ Republican Governor Christie has explicitly said no!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Fast and Furious Legal Assessment

It is difficult to believe that nobody in the US Attorney General's Office maintained a data base of Executive Branch programs that required legal assessment before going operational!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

More than Just Sanctions are Needed

Syrian President Assad says he will attack Tel Aviv with rockets if NATO attacks Syria. Mr. Assad will look funny with multiple Israeli rockets stuck up his ass!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

The Wicked Witch of the West Whines

Rep. Pelosi's (D-CA) Green Capitol initiative cost $500k per year (4 yrs) for defective eating utensils. Yet she bitches Republican's are spending $1.5m to defend marriage between a man & a woman!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Loony left Wing Crybabies

The loony left wing anarchists proclaim their Occupy Wall Street protests are not being covered by the media. This is a blatant fabrication as NBC and the New York Times, etal carried the stories.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Obama Administration Destroys another Industry

President Obama wants to destroy as many US jobs as he can before leaving office in 2013. Now the Guitar Industry is being accused of law violations by importing finished wood products from India!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Nobody Noticed

An experiment was conducted to see how cosmetics/makeup affected how a panel of 12 men viewed women's looks. To level the playing field all the women between the ages of 30 to 40 were naked!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Give the Ad Money to Charity

A study indicates people are not paying attention to TV advertisements. A paper towel manufacturer polled 2700 people who all replied "it was the best toilet paper they ever used!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Government Food Police

Denmark is taxing high saturated fat food items, such as butter, to force behavior modification. The Danes probably will object if exported Danish cheese products to the USA incurred such a tax!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Booby Prize

President Obama nominated for a Nobel Prize in Alchemy for his efforts to turn the first world USA into a third world country!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Statistically Speaking

55% of Americans believe President Obama is a one-termer, 85% of Americans want this president impeached and 99% of Americans want this president to resign now!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Prevaricator in Chief

Pres. Obama blames House Republicans for holding up his American Jobs Act. Meanwhile Senate Majority Leader Reid (D-NV) won't bring the bill to the floor because he doesn't have Democratic support!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Taxpayer Fantasy

Thousands of irate US taxpayers descended on lower Manhattan and gave the Occupy Wall Street protestors free noogies, pies in the face, 20 lashes with a wet noodle and bus tickets home!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Fleece the Taxpayers Again

ACLU sues over a Muslim women's right to wear a head scarf while awaiting trial in the county jail on charges of Medicare fraud!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

The Know Nothing Party Protestors

Wall Street Protestors blame bank's bad loan policies for causing home foreclosures! They seem to forget about Rep. Frank (D-MA) forcing banks to loan money to people who couldn't afford a house!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Losers in 2012

President Obama and his Democratic left wing liberal supporters are federal government control freaks who can't stop beating the dead horse of "tax the wealthy" and "wealth redistribution!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

As the Founders Wanted

King Obama I has no sense of American history when it comes to Congress. Both houses can be contentious places when it comes to doing the people's business, particularly the House of Representatives!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
Rating:

Repeal of ObamaCare

Americans knew Prohibition was a bad idea and finally got it repealed. Similarly, Americans know Obamacare is a bad idea and will get it repealed! Hopefully, repeal won't take 12 Years!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 October 2011
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