Gazza saved from drowning
Gazza's doctor's say his liver is like a rubber brick after years of abuse. "It was a good job really," said one doctor, "when he fell into a pool, he was rescued by a kid in pyjamas."
written by IainB
, 04 October 2011
Ex Rwandan president accused of causing genocide, who else?
Ex Rwandan president Mr. Kagame has been accused of sparking the Rwandan genocide; You only have to look at the top to find the perpetrators of all genocide, especially African, logical or not?
David de Gea gets stuck in a doughnut!
Man Utd's Spanish goalie, De Gea was accused of nicking a doughnut out of Tesco's. "No es verdad" protested David. He blamed it on the mierda sticky doughnut and claimed Spanish ones "estan muy mejor!
Umbrella missing at Nottingham Forest!
Police are investigating a theft at Notts Forest FC. Steve McClaren retired and ever since then an umbrella has been missing!
Shane in the news again
Ex Australian Test cricketer Shane Warne has announced his engagement to a large boa constrictor. The huge snake agreed to Shane's proposal after dining on three dead dogs and a budgerigar. Hiss hiss.
Knox latest member to join cast of "Dancing with Alleged Murderers"
Moments after Amanda Knox' acquittal, agents for the alleged murderer signed papers insuring that Knox would join O.J. and Casey Anthony on the inaugural season of "Dancing with Alleged Murderers."
written by Lyndon
, 04 October 2011
Governor Chris Christie Knows All About The Basic Food Groups
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie says that if he decides to run in the GOP presidential campaign he will use a campaign tour bus which will be escorted by a catering truck.
Michele Bachmann Has Told Husband Marcus To Cut Back 33 1/3 Percent
Michele Bachmann has really gotten strict with her husband Marcus. She has insisted that he cut back on his daily anti-gay remarks from twelve to eight.
Hank Williams Jr. Is Singing About The Blues In Jail
Hank Williams Jr. was arrested for referring to the president of the United States as Hitler. As he was being led away in handcuffs he remarked he didn't mean Obama he meant Lincoln.
Jon Huntsman Is Just Not That Popular
Jon Huntsman's The Who The Heck Was That Fella Nation Wide Bus Tour stopped off in Fargo, North Dakota where his campaign held a $5 a plate barbecue dinner. The promotion brought in $45.
Willie Nelson Does Not Want Newt Using His Tune
Willie Nelson has asked that Newt Gingrich stop using his song "Whiskey River" as the campaign theme song for his GOP nation wide Whiter Than White Bus Tour.
Since You Asked
SPOOF EDITOR: Why do you write funny stories for this publication? SPOOF WRITER: It keeps me out of bars (Pubs) and off the streets!
Federal Spending has Never Stopped
Jesse Jackson wants to revisit President Lyndon Johnson's war on poverty, targeting jobs to the neediest areas. Since 1964 to 2010 the USA has spent upwards of $16 trillion and lost the war!
Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely
Some political pundits indicate that President Obama might not seek a second term for the good of the USA. What's that expression about "when pigs learn to fly?"
Tax the Clueless
Congress passes bipartisan legislation establishing a "Head tax" on the executive branch. So much crap has been fostered on the American public by the Obama administration, they should pay for it!
More from Inside the Washington Beltway
President Obama's proposed Jobs Bill indicates large cruise ships should be built in New Mexico to create jobs. However, building a canal to any ocean or navigable river is not cost effective!
Remake of an Old Film
Hollywood cancels a remake of "How to Marry a Millionaire" after Warren Buffett's proposed tax rule announced. Movie title may be changed to "How to Marry a Billionaire!"
Wall Street Protests Causing Depression
Psychiatrists are treating more retires with depression. They are upset over missing out on the US government possibly paying their college tuition loans and having to work while going to school!
FATHER: I shot the Grizzly Bear because it was endangering my children. RABID ENVIRONMENALISTS: The animal is on the ESL so why didn't you just give it cookies and milk and say shoo, shoo bear?