Microsoft Cancels Xbox Next, Originally Scheduled to Release Days After the Apocalypse.
Microsoft (MSFT) has re-evaluated plans to release Xbox Next in early 2013, citing production delays altering the earliest possible release to weeks after the Apocalypse, scheduled for December 2012.
Geraldo Rivera races to Libya, Collects Khadafi Stool Samples
Rivera:'Quickest, surest way to confirm DNA of Khadafi and son.' Samples smuggled back to U.S. in his undershorts.
Gaddafi Claims He's Not Dead
Bonkers dictator Colonel Gaddafi denies reports that he is dead. Rumours that he has been spotted with Osama Bin Laden are yet to be confirmed
Man City have secret weapon for Sunday's Manchester derby!
Man City have a secret weapon for Sunday. Aquero and Da Silva will be substitued for Balotelli and Tevez, they will all refuse, cause mass confusion! While nobody's looking, pop in the winning goal
Pensioner asked what would be his favourite food if he had no financial limitations!
He answered; "Minced Cameron, with a pate of Clegg's head in aspic on the side. Followed by a coalition of MPs roasted hogs nuts. With HP sauce of course!"
Cameron tries to get power companies to reduce costs!
He talked tough about bank bonuses while doing nothing.
He reversed a decision to give extra help to pensioners facing the choice of heating and eating.
What next from the philargyrist Cameron?
Capello searches for new England talent at Man City!
Roberto Mancini Okayed him to check on Pablo Zabaleta, Carlos Marchena, Gunnar Nielson, Dedryck Boyata, Edin Dzeko, Vladimir Weiss, Segio Aguero, Yaya Toure, Nigel de Jong, and Samir Nasri.
Colonel Gaddafi is dead; so what!
They've got him at last, Gadaffi, he's dead, so what!
Rick Santorum - The Closet Something or Other
Rick Santorum was asked if he has ever had gay fantasies about kissing another man. He blushed and asked if fantasizing about a male statue counted.
Herman Cain Knows All About Female Hairdos
Michele Bachmann made the mistake of asking Herman Cain what he thought about her new hairdo. The Pizza brutha laughed and said, "I do declare woman, ju look just like a poor white trash lesbian."
Biden hops into the pool
Vice President Joe Biden will compete in his first swimming race tomorrow. "Hell, I hope I'm not in too deep or even out of my depth" Biden stated. Just for the record, he'll be wearing floaties. Duh!
Biden to conquer Monument
Vice President, Joe Biden, will climb the Washington Monument tomorrow to counter claims that he is a weak and insipid individual.Nonetheless,Biden will take the elevator just to be on the safe side.
Biden to be next Lone Ranger
US Vice President, Joe Biden, is understood to be auditioning for the role of the Lone Ranger, which is being filmed next year. Hollywood producers are sceptical but ol' Joe thinks he's a sure bet.
Going Too Fast Fear
With the new speed limit being raised to 200 mph Formula One drivers fear people will be watching traffic on the M25 rather than their races.
written by j.w.
, 20 October 2011
William Hague say's he will never go soft on Europe!
William Hague said there is no "prospect" of my goning soft and will never go soft on Europe".
His hotel bedroom assistants Julian and Damien claim they have never known him go 'soft'!
Ron Paul Might Just Be Too Old To Be President
Ron Paul, the oldest GOP candidate, was asked what he would do about the illegal alien problem. He said that first he would destroy their space ships and second he would destroy their space ships.
Whoopi Goldberg Knows How To Whoop It Up
Whoopi Goldberg says that Mitt Romney has all the charisma and personality of a department store mannequin.
Newt Gingrich Loves Answering Michele Bachmann's Questions
Michele Bachmann asked Newt Gingrich if he thought her new short hairdo made her look younger. He grinned and replied, "Yes it does make you look younger, and a hell of a lot dumber as well."
Rick Perry Has Just About Had His Fill of The "Mormon Master"
Rick Perry told Anderson Cooper after the Las Vegas debate that if Mitt Romney does not stop interrupting him every two minutes he is going to challenge him to a duel of 'Tasers at Three Paces.'