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Rating:

Nick Griffiths arrested for vandalism

Nick Griffiths was arrested outside the BNP's London HQ today when he was caught painting over the black bits in the zebra crossing.

written by IainB, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Monster Raving Loony Party not standing against BNP

"We were going to stand against the BNP," said Loony Party leader Lord Haha, "but all their policies made ours sound sane."

written by IainB, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Klu Klux Clan buy new iPhones

The Klu Klux Klan have spent several thousand dollars equipping their members with iPhones. "We only buy them when the white ones come out," said one Klanner.

written by IainB, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Occupy Wall Street cleared by Donald Trump

Donald Trump has walked down Wall Street clearing it by whispering in each protester's ear "I'll give you 10 million dollars to go home." When they agree he calls them hypercritical and they leave.

written by IainB, 19 October 2011
Rating:

BNP Orchestral Changes

BNP leader, Nick Griffin, has invented a new musical instrument. It looks much like an ordinary piano, but only has white notes.

written by IainB, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Ian McKellan becomes an uncle

Somehow, despite being a gay only child, Ian McKellan has become an Uncle at 72. "The little brat calls me Uncle Ian," he said. "I feel like swinging a bell when he says it."

written by IainB, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Political Correctness gone mad

As well as banning racism, ageism and sexism, the Political Correctness brigade plan on banning terrorism. "Good luck with that," said one unsuccessful suicide bomber afterwards.

written by IainB, 19 October 2011
Rating:

NBA to forego regular season, go straight to playoffs

David Stern plans to save the NBA post-season by cancelling the season and going right to the playoffs. Shit teams will be cut including the Nets, Raptors, Cavs, Wizards, 'wolves, Clippers, and Kings.

written by Lyndon, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Greece sees general strike

A general strike is under way in Greece. Fortunately, the Greek army are not being used at the moment, so Field Marshal Stavros does not miss his generals.

written by MonkeyInTheBath, 19 October 2011
Rating:

English bank tells it's customers to "f++k off!"

A well known Brit bank has replied to all of it's customers asking for credit with the following statement; FUCK OFF!
Tight times require tight bastards!

written by Jaggedone, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin Certainly Knows All About The Game of Round Balls (Wink-Wink)

When Sarah Palin was asked who she felt won the GOP debate in Las Vegas she smiled and said "Oh ya know, I gotta give the nod to the basketball player, opps, I mean to the pizza maker, Herman Cain."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Ron Paul - The Man Who Notices Things

Jon Huntsman is such an unknown candidate that he did not even show up to the Las Vegas GOP debate. And no one even noticed except for Ron Paul who asked, "Hey where's old what's his name?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2011
Rating:

MPs to vote on whether to hold a referendum on Britain staying in the EU!

They need to vote on whether to hold a referendum on this?

You can expect more phenakism (Deception and/or trickery) from the back-hander-taking nepotists on this!

written by Inchcock, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Nick Clegg to talk to each one of the Lib-Dem supporters in mass protest of Coalition with Tories!

Mr Clegg told out reporter: "I will talk to each of the three Lib-Dem voters to calm their nerves!

written by Inchcock, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Kobe Bryant Says He Can Play Other Sports (And Damn Good!)

Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers says he is so frustrated at not being able to play due to the NBA lockout that he may ask Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones to give him a tryout at quarterback.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Rick Perry Cannot Stand People Who Do Not Believe

Rick Perry was recently asked if he was elected president what would be the first thing that he would do. Perry grinned from ear-to-ear and replied, "I'd execute that atheist sumbitch Bill Maher."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Ron Paul Lets Mitt Romney Have It Below The Belt

Ron Paul fired off a shot at Mitt "The Mormon Master" Romney by saying that he has taken more positions than a Las Vegas prostitute.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Michele Bachmann Says She Can Feel What Herman Cain Feels

Michele Bachmann told a crowd in Beverly Hills that she can identify with the plight of black candidate Herman Cain because she has lots of friends who have black maids.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2011
Rating:

More Economic Morons in Washington DC

The Obama administration's unworkable long term care plan (CLASS) would pay $50 per day if you become disabled. Nursing homes cost more than $200 per day and in-home care $20 per hour!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

The Three Faces of Obama

ME: Support my government jobs bill & higher taxes on the Republican Wall Street rich.
MYSELF: I am an outsider running against those government insiders.
I: My Democratic Wall Street rich are OK!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Picking Winners and Losers

Las Vegas put all its chips on President Obama in 2008 and then Senator Reid (D-NV) in 2010. Smarting from two losers, the smart money in 2012 may be looking for a Republican winner!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Disaster Strikes

President Obama has cancelled his southern bus tour after finding out his teleprompter had been stolen!



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Presidential Bus Tour

President Obama is campaigning in Mississippi for his jobs bill. The president tells workers that his bill will provide jobs, such that Mississippi won't be 57th anymore!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Good Thinking

Mississippi and California's governors are discussing merging the two states into a commonwealth. They hope the extreme right loons and the extreme left loons will cancel each other out!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Could Be

Democratic Party officials ask President Obama not to run in 2012. They fear the Republicans will keep the House, capture the presidency, the Senate and destroy the Democratic Party!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

PB and J Job

DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz used her organization skills to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for President Obama's southern bus tour. No stop at the Carter peanut farm is planned.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Kudos CSX

CSX Railroad helps to refurbish blighted housing in Baltimore MD. The left wing media seems to have missed this story, as it has no corporate greed or mobs of protestors!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Whacko Proposal for Unoccupied Rooms

Next time you stay at the Mark Hopkins Hotel in San Francisco CA be sure to go next door to visit the homeless persons!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Freeloaders Convention

Occupy Wall Street protestors shouldn't even think about a free college education, as their deficient "tax the rich" math and clueless economics skills don't qualify them to pass the entrance exams!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Natural Gas Discovery

An unlimited supply of natural gas has been discovered in the Maryland State House (Governor and Legislators). Similar searches have been initiated in the 49 other states!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Ah So

QUESTION: A Wall Street protestor was asked why he was a Democrat, not a Republican. ANSWER: Because the Republicans won't GIMMEE anything for free!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

They Finally Got it Right

Pee Party (Wall Street protestors) march on NYC's Times Square carrying signs "OBAMA's $4 TRILLION DEFICIT AND RECKLESS SPENDING MUST STOP."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

What Civilization?

In 7000 years of existence if a society cannot figure out that the people should not defecate in the water they drink and wash in, why bother taking a vacation there?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Last Person Out Turn off the Lights

In eight months, the sale of foie gras (goose liver) is to be banned in California. The food police are celebrating while the state is going bankrupt and people/industries are leaving in droves!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

New UK Warning Label

A UK study finds E. coli bacteria on cell phones. Government decrees new warning label be placed on cell phones "DO NOT USE FOLLOWING WIPING ARSE, UNTIL HANDS ARE WASHED!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Myth Debunked

Scientists have shown that President Obama can't walk on water, the sun does not shine out of his body parts and he puts his pants on one leg at a time!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Obama's Environmentalist and Union Supporters Clash

Rabid environmentalists threaten to sue US railroads and port facilities over Diesel smoke. A shutting down of these facilities would put many thousands of union members out of jobs!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

President to Visit GM Plant

Auto workers at a GM plant are nervous about President Obama's visit. It seems that after visiting a recreational vehicles factory and a solar panel plant, both these facilities declared bankruptcy!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
Rating:

Create Your Own Phony Democratic Issue

A relationship exists between (offending element) and (eating, smelling, drinking) this product that will cause your (body part) to fall off, unless the government (bans, regulates, taxes) it!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 October 2011
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